The New And Improved Fashion Board

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I've never understood vanity plates. There's no way in hell I'd want my license plate to be easily remembered. You never know when you need to make a quick, anonymous getaway.

ETA: ncs's footnote makes me think that I've probably made this statement repeatedly over the years, too. It'll be followed, if memory serves correctly, by a snippy comment from Thurgreed or Burger about my driving. We're all an old married couple.

Once leaving a football game with 108,000 others, I had a traffic jam fight with an asshole. There's this big line of people waiting to go through a light. we aren't moving much. Anyways this Porsche comes roaring up along the line and gets as far as he can go before he wants to cut in. he's trying to cut the line by about 10 minutes.

It's 3 really drunk old lawyers. They are trying to edge in front of me and we have a game of chicken. I know they're lawyers because the one in the passenger seat was a big enough dick to tell me that I'd be sued if I hit them, what with them being 4 important lawyers and all.

I played it for awhile, but the driver was clearly nuts. My grille had been smashed the week earlier. The driver of the Porsche was playing chicken with a car that was already smashed, I figured he would back down, but he didn't. I eventually backed down- because I had my kid and dad in the car.

He was in front of me in the traffic jam the next 10 minutes and I can still see his personalized plates that read "Leet."

First thing I did when back home was look through bar directories trying to find him. then I send emails to friends at the bigger firms trying to find him. No luck.

The following Saturday my daughter and I are driving through Birmingham and a Porsche passes me going the other way. Something about the driver was familiar- as he got past I saw his plates "Leet." I whipped around and followed him for a mile or so but he didn't go home or park anywhere. Eventually I had to leave.

A few weeks later i walked into a Birmingham coffee shop and sitting there was the guy. I wouldn't have remembered his face as Leet's save for seeing it again that one Saturday.

So I walk up to him and say "Hey you're Leet, right? I'm the guy you played chicken with after the M/MSU game, remember? Piece of advice? Either quit being a dickhead or get rid of the vanity plates, because I know exactly which car is yours and I walk by it all the time parked. Next time maybe you'll piss off someone who'll fuck up your tires. "

I said it really low and measured like Clint Eastwood.

I would never get those plates, AND I drive like a gentlemen. You never know who you're pissing off accidentally.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Spanky
I sat on the board of their politcal arm (Planned Parent Advoctes) as one of their token Republicans for many years. Made me rather unpopular at GOP conventions. Donations to Planned Parenthood are tax deductible, donations to PPA are not. Although Planned Parenthood can send out "informational" mailers and Ads etc about candidates and bills before congress etc, only PPA can push a political agenda (endorse candidates etc).

If you are interested in helping the organization PM me.

Thank you. I already make a monthly charitable contribution so I think that's enough for now, but thanks for the offer.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Once leaving a football game with 108,000 others, I had a traffic jam fight with an asshole. There
s this big line of people waiting to go through a light. we aren't moving much. Anyways this Porsche comes roaring up along the line and gets as far as he can go before he wants to cut in. he's trying to cut the line by about 10 minutes.

It's 3 really drunk old lawyers. They are trying to edge in front of me and we have a game of chicken. I know they're lawyers because the one in the passenger seat was a big enough dick to tell me that I'd be sued if I hit them, what with them being 4 important lawyers and all.

I played it for awhile, but the driver was clearly nuts. My grille had been smashed the week earlier. The driver of the Porsche was playing chicken with a car that was already smashed, I figured he would back down, but he didn't. I eventually backed down- because I had my kid and dad in the car.

He was in front of me in the traffic jam the next 10 minutes and I can still see his personalized plates that read "Leet."

First thing I did when back home was look through bar directories trying to find him. then I send emails to friends at the bigger firms trying to find him. No luck.

The following Saturday my daughter and I are driving through Birmingham and a Porsche passes me going the other way. Something about the driver was familiar- as he got past I saw his plates "Leet." I whipped around and followed him for a mile or so but he didn't go home or park anywhere. Eventually I had to leave.

A few weeks later i walked into a Birmingham coffee shop and sitting there was the guy. I wouldn't have remembered his face as Leet's save for seeing it again that one Saturday.

So I walk up to him and say "Hey you're Leet, right? I'm the guy you played chicken with after the M/MSU game, remember? Piece of advice? Either quit being a dickhead or get rid of the vanity plates, because I know exactly which car is yours and I walk by it all the time parked. Next time maybe you'll piss off someone who'll fuck up your tires. "

I said it really low and measured like Clint Eastwood.

I would never get those plates, AND I drive like a gentlemen. You never know who you're pissing off accidentally.

OK, I now feel slightly less bad/freaky about the most psycho thing I have ever done. It also involved bad car behavior on someone's part. Thanks!!!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Ronaldo = Fat
Ronaldinho = Skinny

Hank, don't let Ironweak's slight of hand fool you. Yes, both Celtic and Barcelona (Ronaldinho's team) play in the top league in their respective countries. Barcelona is also one of the best clubs in Europe, as evidenced by the fact that it won the Champions League last year. Celtic? Well, Celtic is one of the best clubs in Scotland.

I know, but thanks for backing me. I was insulting him by the question- it was rhetorical. My first draft said "i saw my daughter's team mate make a goal like that- isn't it harder for Ronaldinho to do than say her or this Celtic guy, because he plays with pros?" But that would have made me watch the videos to see the goals and make sure a kid could do it. and i didn't want to watch the videos.

Cool Hank news. I now travel with a MacBook which highlights typos when I'm doing posts. So it's another step of continuous improvement for Hank. I wonder if dtb will find me less charming w/o the the misspellings.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Spanky
I sat on the board of their politcal arm (Planned Parent Advoctes) as one of their token Republicans for many years. Made me rather unpopular at GOP conventions. Donations to Planned Parenthood are tax deductible, donations to PPA are not. Although Planned Parenthood can send out "informational" mailers and Ads etc about candidates and bills before congress etc, only PPA can push a political agenda (endorse candidates etc).

If you are interested in helping the organization PM me.

Our Planned Parenthood affiliate has an awesome "Young Leaders" arm that hosts monthly Cocktails for A Cause and an annual Party Like a Rockstar event.

[Anne Elk]

Because Flower and Ironweed might care:

Juergen Klinsmann withdrew Thursday from consideration as coach of the U.S. soccer team after several months of talks failed to lead to an agreement, a U.S. Soccer Federation official told The Associated Press.

Full story here.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I searched "lvncs" and found nada. spill it.

I found it on page 9 of the search results for posts with "vanity". We sure do discuss vanity a lot. The last time I told it (in a very condensed form) was in February 2004, so I guess we are due for our vanity plates discussion again. My stance is strongly anti-vanity plates. My ex's stance was pro- (but maybe now it is anti-?) and he ran out and got LV[my real first name] on his license plates. In all seriousness, that was one (of many, I'll add) reasons I had to leave the state of Ohio. My options were get him somewhere new for license plates or get a divorce. I just should have considered the divorce option a bit more seriously in retrospect.*



*For those keeping track, if I had divorced him then, no loan guaranty/creditor issues would haunt me today. What a dumbass I was back then.


ETFgrammar.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
OK, I now feel slightly less bad/freaky about the most psycho thing I have ever done. It also involved bad car behavior on someone's part. Thanks!!!

By the way, the crap stains are still visible on my hood. That'll learn me for taking the last donut.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Once leaving a football game with 108,000 others, I had a traffic jam fight with an asshole. There's this big line of people waiting to go through a light. we aren't moving much. Anyways this Porsche comes roaring up along the line and gets as far as he can go before he wants to cut in. he's trying to cut the line by about 10 minutes.

(and a bunch more stuff

This all would have been easier if you did what I did. Similar situation, New Jersey Turnpike, southern end. Backed up for miles. Ass jack in an SL500 decides the empty breakdown lane would be a great way to cut some time off of his wait. Of course, since he's about a mile back, I can see him for a good while, and pull just enough into the breakdown lane that he has to slow down . . . just enough to give the NJ state trooper time to see him and pull him over.

Ah, sweet, sweet justice.

[Hank Chinaski]

My older cousin was the closest thing I had to a brother. He died yesterday from lung cancer. He had been smoking for 30 years probably. My dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, after smoking for about that long. 5 years ago he caught pneumonia and intended up with COPD. He has to take 2 1/2 hour steroid breathing treatments a day.

When I drop my daughter at her dorm there are dozens of supposedly smart kids out front (no smoking dorm) smoking. How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
My older cousin was the closest thing I had to a brother. He died yesterday from lung cancer. He had been smoking for 35 ears probably. My dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, after smoking for about that long. 5 years ago he caught pneumonia and intended up with COPD. He has to take 2 1/2 hour steroid breathing treatments a day.

When I drop my daughter at her dorm there are dozens of supposedly smart kids out front (no smoking dorm) smoking. How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

Sorry to hear that Hank. My condolences.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
This all would have been easier if you did what I did. Similar situation, New Jersey Turnpike, southern end. Backed up for miles. Ass jack in an SL500 decides the empty breakdown lane would be a great way to cut some time off of his wait. Of course, since he's about a mile back, I can see him for a good while, and pull just enough into the breakdown lane that he has to slow down . . . just enough to give the NJ state trooper time to see him and pull him over.

Ah, sweet, sweet justice.

Michigan doesn't have laws against cutting into line from a mass of cars in a HS field being used as a parking lot.

WHAT I almost did was get out of my car and have my dad drive, walk past Leet to the cop directing traffic at the light, and tell the cop that the Porsche that will be coming up in about 5 minutes had a seriously drunk driver who was harassing everyone. But I didn't do that.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
By the way, the crap stains are still visible on my hood. That'll learn me for taking the last donut.

Speaking of which, does anyone have any suggestions on how to discourage birds from nesting in particular trees. I'm not interested in cutting down the massive oak in front of my house, or the bradford pears that line my driveway, but I'm getting sick of constantly having to wash my car.

My siblings (who have taken to parking their cars across the street when they come to visit) have suggested I rent Steel Magnolia's and study the Tom Skerrit character carefully. I'm all for shooting things, but I don't think my neighbors would understand. Plus, I'm a sap and that movie makes me cry.

There's a cat that (sometimes) lives under my porch. (I'm almost resigned to the fact that I'm likely an unwilling cat owner. It's getting cold at night and I find myself feeling guilty and oddly responsible for its well-being.) It has been thoroughly useless in keeping this particular bird population down.

The birds in question, if that helps in the analysis, are doves.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
My older cousin was the closest thing I had to a brother. He died yesterday from lung cancer. He had been smoking for 30 years probably. My dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, after smoking for about that long. 5 years ago he caught pneumonia and intended up with COPD. He has to take 2 1/2 hour steroid breathing treatments a day.

When I drop my daughter at her dorm there are dozens of supposedly smart kids out front (no smoking dorm) smoking. How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

Your daughter goes to a state school, right? Maybe you should have encouraged her to stretch a bit more in her apps?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

Hank, I'm sorry for your loss, but addiction has nothing to do with logic. If that were the case, there would be no intelligent alcoholics in the world.