The New And Improved Fashion Board - Page 239

Shape Shifter · 12-07-2006, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
The birds in question, if that helps in the analysis, are doves.

What does it sound like when they cry?

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 12-07-2006, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski

How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

They haven't had anyone close to them or that they love die of smoking-related diseases.

andViolins · 12-07-2006, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
My older cousin was the closest thing I had to a brother. He died yesterday from lung cancer. He had been smoking for 30 years probably. My dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, after smoking for about that long. 5 years ago he caught pneumonia and intended up with COPD. He has to take 2 1/2 hour steroid breathing treatments a day.

When I drop my daughter at her dorm there are dozens of supposedly smart kids out front (no smoking dorm) smoking. How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

She obviously does not go to school here in the great State of smoke-free Ohio. As of today, a new law went into effect that pretty much makes it illegal to smoke, um, pretty much everywhere. Or in close proximity to the doorways of everywhere.

In your face Joe Camel!

aV

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 12-07-2006, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spanky
I sat on the board of their politcal arm (Planned Parent Advoctes) as one of their token Republicans for many years. Made me rather unpopular at GOP conventions. Donations to Planned Parenthood are tax deductible, donations to PPA are not. Although Planned Parenthood can send out "informational" mailers and Ads etc about candidates and bills before congress etc, only PPA can push a political agenda (endorse candidates etc).

If you are interested in helping the organization PM me.

I believe this official makes you a feminist man.

So, how many PPA board members did you sleep with?

SlaveNoMore · 12-07-2006, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Pretty Little Flower
Ronaldo = Fat
Ronaldinho = Skinny

Hank, don't let Ironweak's slight of hand fool you. Yes, both Celtic and Barcelona (Ronaldinho's team) play in the top league in their respective countries. Barcelona is also one of the best clubs in Europe, as evidenced by the fact that it won the Champions League last year. Celtic? Well, Celtic is one of the best clubs in Scotland.

You just had to post that goal against Werder, didn't you.

SlaveNoMore · 12-07-2006, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Shape Shifter
What does it sound like when they cry?

A roomful of liberal democrats.

tmdiva · 12-07-2006, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Speaking of which, does anyone have any suggestions on how to discourage birds from nesting in particular trees. I'm not interested in cutting down the massive oak in front of my house, or the bradford pears that line my driveway, but I'm getting sick of constantly having to wash my car.

My siblings (who have taken to parking their cars across the street when they come to visit) have suggested I rent Steel Magnolia's and study the Tom Skerrit character carefully. I'm all for shooting things, but I don't think my neighbors would understand. Plus, I'm a sap and that movie makes me cry.

There's a cat that (sometimes) lives under my porch. (I'm almost resigned to the fact that I'm likely an unwilling cat owner. It's getting cold at night and I find myself feeling guilty and oddly responsible for its well-being.) It has been thoroughly useless in keeping this particular bird population down.

The birds in question, if that helps in the analysis, are doves.

There are a few things you can try. They make shiny twisty spiral thingies to hang in there that supposedly the birds don't like, but I've also seen suggested hanging garbage CDs (from junk mail, etc.) or festooning with pulled-out analog tape.

Good luck!

tm

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 12-07-2006, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Speaking of which, does anyone have any suggestions on how to discourage birds from nesting in particular trees. I'm not interested in cutting down the massive oak in front of my house, or the bradford pears that line my driveway, but I'm getting sick of constantly having to wash my car.

My siblings (who have taken to parking their cars across the street when they come to visit) have suggested I rent Steel Magnolia's and study the Tom Skerrit character carefully. I'm all for shooting things, but I don't think my neighbors would understand. Plus, I'm a sap and that movie makes me cry.

There's a cat that (sometimes) lives under my porch. (I'm almost resigned to the fact that I'm likely an unwilling cat owner. It's getting cold at night and I find myself feeling guilty and oddly responsible for its well-being.) It has been thoroughly useless in keeping this particular bird population down.

The birds in question, if that helps in the analysis, are doves.

Take up falconing.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone · 12-07-2006, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tmdiva
There are a few things you can try. They make shiny twisty spiral thingies to hang in there that supposedly the birds don't like, but I've also seen suggested hanging garbage CDs (from junk mail, etc.) or festooning with pulled-out analog tape.

Good luck!

tm

I was going to suggest a band of monkeys, but I suppose tm's suggestions could work, too.

Shape Shifter · 12-07-2006, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tmdiva
There are a few things you can try. They make shiny twisty spiral thingies to hang in there that supposedly the birds don't like, but I've also seen suggested hanging garbage CDs (from junk mail, etc.) or festooning with pulled-out analog tape.

Good luck!

tm

And they really, really don't like it when there's a car on cinder blocks in the yard. And used diapers.

Heh, way to fuck with her, tm. I didn't realize you had it in you.

LessinSF · 12-07-2006, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
My older cousin was the closest thing I had to a brother. He died yesterday from lung cancer. He had been smoking for 30 years probably. My dad quit smoking about 20 years ago, after smoking for about that long. 5 years ago he caught pneumonia and intended up with COPD. He has to take 2 1/2 hour steroid breathing treatments a day.

When I drop my daughter at her dorm there are dozens of supposedly smart kids out front (no smoking dorm) smoking. How the fuck can someone put a cigarette in their mouth anymore?

Pretty Little Flower · 12-07-2006, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
You just had to post that goal against Werder, didn't you.

I sort of remembered that you were a fan. Sorry, dude. Well, I guess I am not that sorry, or I would not have posted the goal in the first place. But I am not ruling out the possibility that some tiny part of my unconscious brain feels sorry for your loss.

Hank Chinaski · 12-07-2006, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Hank, I'm sorry for your loss, but addiction has nothing to do with logic. If that were the case, there would be no intelligent alcoholics in the world.

point taken but drinking at least has the "fun" benefits.

notcasesensitive · 12-07-2006, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
This all would have been easier if you did what I did. Similar situation, New Jersey Turnpike, southern end. Backed up for miles. Ass jack in an SL500 decides the empty breakdown lane would be a great way to cut some time off of his wait. Of course, since he's about a mile back, I can see him for a good while, and pull just enough into the breakdown lane that he has to slow down . . . just enough to give the NJ state trooper time to see him and pull him over.

Ah, sweet, sweet justice.

Coming out of Coachella one year (we haven't been back because of the bullshit that is the traffic trying to get in and out of Coachella), we spent over two hours in the parking lot (the first 40 minutes or so we didn't even move) trying to get out and when we finally had funnelled our way towards the front of the exit (cars coming from 30 directions, all trying to get to one point of exit), the car in front of us pissed off the cop who was directing traffic, so he started skipping our lane and letting everyone else out. Mr. Man was so angry at the guy (the person in front of us) that I thought he might climb out of the car and start hitting him right there. I doubt the cop would have stopped him. Instead we had to prevail upon someone in the lane next to us to let us cut over. When we made it out, the cop-pisser-offer guy was still sitting there. Trapped.

Lesson: Don't mess with the traffic cop if he is your only way to freedom.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone · 12-07-2006, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive

Lesson: Don't mess with the traffic cop if he is your only way to freedom.

Sometimes if you tell him you just got born, the traffic cop will let you slide.