Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
I've only seen them do that with late(r) boarders recently, but I have seen an airline (which escapes my memory entirely) refuse to let people in lower-numbered/front seats board the plane until their rows were called. I believe they even sent those people to the back of the line.

I've seen that happen. I love those agents. Almost as much as I love the mounted policeman at Buckingham Palace who went around and told people who arrived just before the Changing of the Guard not to sneak in and then stand in front of people who had been waiting a couple of hours in the searing heat.

The only difference is, I wanted that exceedingly good looking policeman and his trusty steed to come back to Washington with me and do that and other good work during Cherry Blossom season, and I had no such plans for the enforcer gate agents.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
From this photo, I would have to say that she is just blonde. Not hot at all.

TM

I was thinking the same thing. Looks like a high school senior who would be dog ugly without the black eyeliner, lip gloss, highlights, and tanning bed.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I was thinking the same thing. Looks like a high school senior who would be dog ugly without the black eyeliner, lip gloss, highlights, and tanning bed.

And instead, she's dog ugly with the black eyeliner, lip gloss, highlights, and tanning bed.

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
It is easier to take my approach, which is to be an asshole at all times. That way, no one calls you on your cell phone.

No, even assholes get phone calls. See, for example, the prick across the hall.

And speaking of cellphone assholes, taxi drivers should not be allowed to chitchat while driving aggressively to turn over another fare. nobody should be allowed to talk and drive, but especially these assholes. i am going to start saying "I would tip you but I believe you put me at great risk by blabbering on the phone and only haveing one hand on the wheel and bieng unfocused", maybe that will learn em?

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
The time stamp on the site is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Lawtalkers never sprung forward. I am finding this terribly distracting.

I sent e/o a message to that effect this morning. or maybe it was this afternoon. I have no idea. What time is it?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
And then if you are travelling alone [on Herb's Southwest], and take a window seat out of courtesy to people who board later than you, so they can easily reach the aisle seat, you get some creepy guy with a pile of Victoria's Secret catalogues who pounces on the seat next to the single woman.

I hate that. Seriously. In person, I look like an evil bastard* so the single women avoid me on Southwest and other cattle call carriers, and go for the empty row. They inevitably regret it when the Creepy Conversation Guy pounces.

On those rare occasions when the seat next to me on an assigned-seat airline goes to a single woman, they are always pleasantly surprised when I am Not Creepy, and don't hit on them.

*No, really -- I had a senior partner tell me this (in a kind and helpful way) when I was a wee lad. He explained that this fact meant that my cross-examinations of sympathetic slip and fall plaintiffs had to be oh-so-gentle. He was right about this, btw.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Recently, on a flight, the flight attendant came over to my row, and began to stuff someone's god-awful "art" purchased in the Bahamas under the seat in front of the Brazenette's car seat. I asked her to move it as the diaper bag, etc. was under that seat, and she told me to move the stuff so that it was under the seat in front of me.

I hope you were careful to spill the contents of the Brazenette's diaper on said objet d'arte. (And I presume you paid the fare for the brazenette's seat.) Did you think to lie that you had a circulatory condition requiring you to stretch your legs out and therefore could have nothing under your seat blocking your legs for medical reasons? I don't think I've ever seen someone told they need to store someone else's shit under their own seat.

Come to think of it, I do recall recently seeing the flight attendants pull some big bags out of overhead compartments, asking "whose is this?" and if it didn't belong to the person sitting in the row under it, simply announcing "it needs to be checked" and taking it out of the plane themselves. There was much approving nodding. I think the airline was Continental, but I'm not sure.

edited because I moved text around weirdly.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
It is easier to take my approach, which is to be an asshole at all times. That way, no one calls you on your cell phone.

oh, in that case, take my advice and whack all those seated fuckers who boarded early with your bags (both carried bags and wheeled bags) as you board the plane. I've heard they hate that.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
i am going to start saying "I would tip you but I believe you put me at great risk by blabbering on the phone and only haveing one hand on the wheel and bieng unfocused", maybe that will learn em?

Probably not. It will, though, make for some interesting exchanges with you and the cabbies, and before long will probably get your picture displayed on the walls of all Taxi depots in DC, so I say go for it!

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
oh, in that case, take my advice and whack all those seated fuckers who boarded early with your bags (both carried bags and wheeled bags) as you board the plane. I've heard they hate that.

:-)

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I sent e/o a message to that effect this morning. or maybe it was this afternoon. I have no idea. What time is it?

IT's like Tivo here. I just go by the sun and my general sense of fatigue. My billing sheet, however, has been rather vague for the last few days.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Hey, sometimes they enforce it, but RP's observation seems right--the FAs stave off confrontation until the end, when the get a few really pissed off customers who have to check their laptops.

If I'm feeling particularly pricky, (like when I see skads of people with two or three bags), I wander to the gate desk early and innocently ask "do you enforce the one-carry-on restriction?" They always say yes. And then, it's much more likely that they will, as people board.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I've noticed that airlines have gotten a lot stricter about the carry-on rules lately, but maybe I have just been lucky. I have never understood why gate agents don't have the balls to enforce the rules at the beginning of the boarding process, when they can prevent the havoc caused by overhead space-hoarding assholes merely by pointing out that the number and size limit applies to everyone, but do have the balls to anger people who won't be getting the space in the cabin to which their ticket ought to entitle them. I could understand wanting to avoid confrontation, but that system just invites it in the end.

On my recent trip to Hawaii, my companion discovered that they changed the weight requirements for checked on luggage. It used to be 70 pounds a bag, now it's 50. He ended up shelling out an extra 25 bucks per leg of the trip for having more than 50 pounds in his bag. (How he packed that much for a four day trip, I'll never know, though in his defense, he did have to bring a tux and a suit, and accompanying shoes.)

When I moved back from the UK, I knew that I had way more baggage than allowed for international travel and I was going to get dinged a lot of money (that I didn't have) for the excess, so I held on to it when I checked in and then feigned ignorance of the carry on requirements when I got to the plane and gate checked two bags right there, free of charge.

I generally fly Southwest once or twice a month for business, but I fly to and from Austin on the same day, so luggage is not a concern. It's a damned convenient airline for that kind of travel.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
No, even assholes get phone calls. See, for example, the prick across the hall.

And speaking of cellphone assholes, taxi drivers should not be allowed to chitchat while driving aggressively to turn over another fare. nobody should be allowed to talk and drive, but especially these assholes. i am going to start saying "I would tip you but I believe you put me at great risk by blabbering on the phone and only haveing one hand on the wheel and bieng unfocused", maybe that will learn em?

I honestly can't recall a ride when the driver WASN'T yapping away on his headset. Although I did tell a driver this morning (walking to work) that he needed to "lay off the fucking horn!"*

*yelling** at cabbies is great. What are they going to do, get out?

**I only do it when they deserve it.

Originally posted by Gattigap
Probably not. It will, though, make for some interesting exchanges with you and the cabbies, and before long will probably get your picture displayed on the walls of all Taxi depots in DC, so I say go for it!

Oh! Where Alex Reeger and Latka Gravas sit around all day?