Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off - Page 248

dtb · 10-13-2004, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It isn't lazier just to sit there at your desk without moving your legs?

I was thinking that this contraption would be good for long plane rides (is that the theme for today?), which reminded me of a Lufthansa flight I took several years ago. Somewhere over the Atlantic, they put on an exercise video. Yes. An exercise video. The exercises were the kind you could do while sitting in an airplane seat.

Those Germans -- what will they think of next?

Flinty_McFlint · 10-13-2004, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
5 vibrators described here
1 set of nipple clamps
2 sets of handcuffs
a shitload of condoms
a small whip
breath mints
batteries
lube

What did you get on the 9th day of Christmas?

Replaced_Texan · 10-13-2004, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
What did you get on the 9th day of Christmas?

What makes you think I was a good girl?

bilmore · 10-13-2004, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
What makes you think I was a good girl?

"Good" has so many meanings.

mmm3587 · 10-13-2004, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
spree: amazon page selling an item for the supremely lazy

I paced a friend for the last 8.2 miles of the Chicago Marathon last week, and after the finish, we went to the meet-up area, where the 35,000 or so runners (and the ones who convinced people to pace them for the last whatever miles, too) go after the finish to eat their bananas and Powerbears and wear their mylar blankets and meet up with their friends and families. The meet-up area was around Buckingham Fountain, and it was fucking packed. People everywhere, hard to get around. People laying everywhere, totally wiped out. Fuck, I was tired after running eight miles, and there were a bunch of people there who had run way farther and way faster than me and both. Anyway, there were a bunch of lazy fuckers there on Segways. There's a place in Chicago you can rent them to tour the city, and these assholes are rolling around this super-crowded area, asking people to move out of their way, just about rolling over people's toes, just because they want to go to the meet-up area and see what the fuck is going on there. A bunch of people are laying on the ground because they just ran 26.2 miles, that's what. A few people were yelling at them. That's why I love Chicago. If you try to roll over use with a Segway, we will yell at you. Only a few of the Segwayers were fat, though. That would have made it really great if they were huge.

The best part is when they would have to stand in place to wait for people to move, and let the gyroscopes do their thing. Apparently, you can stand still, but you have to kind of trust the thing. If you don't, and get all jerky, you will start to bump into people. I thought somebody was going to get Segwayjacked.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 10-13-2004, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
I was thinking that this contraption would be good for long plane rides

I think RT's box has better contraptions for that.

But Lufthansa was still running that tape.

"Now is the time on Lufthansa when we dance."

Flinty_McFlint · 10-13-2004, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
What makes you think I was a good girl?

The fact you didn't charge extra for seconds. That was good of you.

Hank Chinaski · 10-13-2004, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
Only a few of the Segwayers were fat, though. That would have made it really great if they were huge.

now that there's no longer smoking on long plane rides I was thinking about another section. jammed into a seat next to a very large person for 2 hours a week ago, I was thinking about the airlines that were threatening to make the large buy an extra seat, and how that was shot down. Okay. but what if there was a section for them, and they had to either buy the extra seat or sit jamming, and being jammed by each other? I know there might be weight distribution/lift issues but that can be worked out.

If your widest side to side measurement is more than __ inches you go to the large section.

greatwhitenorthchick · 10-13-2004, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
a small whip

RT has just become my toybox role model.

Replaced_Texan · 10-13-2004, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
RT has just become my toybox role model.

It was a gift. The person who gave it to me said "I saw it and instantly thought of you." It's very cute.

Alex_de_Large · 10-13-2004, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
I was thinking that this contraption would be good for long plane rides (is that the theme for today?), which reminded me of a Lufthansa flight I took several years ago. Somewhere over the Atlantic, they put on an exercise video. Yes. An exercise video. The exercises were the kind you could do while sitting in an airplane seat.

Those Germans -- what will they think of next?

I've seen that on USAirways, Air France and Delta as well.

Alex_de_Large · 10-13-2004, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
It was a gift. The person who gave it to me said "I saw it and instantly thought of you." It's very cute.

Did he/she let you use it on him/her? That's the true test of friendship.

Pretty Little Flower · 10-13-2004, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
now that there's no longer smoking on long plane rides I was thinking about another section. jammed into a seat next to a very large person for 2 hours a week ago, I was thinking about the airlines that were threatening to make the large buy an extra seat, and how that was shot down. Okay. but what if there was a section for them, and they had to either buy the extra seat or sit jamming, and being jammed by each other? I know there might be weight distribution/lift issues but that can be worked out.

If your widest side to side measurement is more than __ inches you go to the large section.

I hate fat people. God, I hate fat people. Disgusting, slobbering corpulent pigs, chowing down on their McGiant McDouble McBurgers with Special Fat Sauce and washing them down with their 120 oz. tubs of Coke. Yeah, right, you have a "glandular issue." Is that why you need to eat a bucket and a half of KFC for breakfast? Is that why the only exercise you get is dragging your quivering rolls of blubbery lard from the TV couch to the kitchen to get another family-size bag of chips that you grab at greedily with your tubby-little grease-covered fingers? Just don't act all offended when I don't want to talk to you, sit near you, or even look at you. You smell bad and are offensive to the eye. I don't care how fucking jolly you are. Get off your mega-ass and take a walk around the block every couple of weeks. And maybe, every once in a while, try some vegetables that are not deep-fried. You might find that you like being a tiny bit less repulsive than you currently are.

ltl/fb · 10-13-2004, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I hate . . . God, I hate . . .

Disgusting, slobbering . . . Special Fat Sauce . . . tubs . . . quivering rolls of blubbery lard . . . grab at greedily with your tubby-little grease-covered fingers . . . You smell bad and are offensive . . . mega-ass . . . repulsive . . .

I love cute furry kitties.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 10-13-2004, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I love cute furry kitties.

Yes, very tasty, aren't they?