A frolic in Cambodia

[ilikenewsocks]

Originally posted by Gattigap
I stumbled upon one talkinghead whose criticism of the fans is, IMHO, pretty valid.

• As far as I'm concerned, the guys I've seen over and over again on TV throwing punches at various members of the Indiana Pacers are the functional -- and nonfunctioning -- equivalent of that guy who faced down the tank in Tiananmen Square. Only he had a majestic, noble cause -- democracy. What these guys were fighting for is beyond me. To take on athletes in the prime of their lives, men almost 7 feet tall and bulked up to the strength of an ox, is stupidity so sheer, so perfect, that it is rarely found in nature and, by itself, contradicts Darwin. People this dumb should have died out by now.

Alternate theory: They were conducting an experiment to determine if NBA players wear cups.

On behalf of baby-mommies everywhere.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Gattigap
As far as I'm concerned, the guys I've seen over and over again on TV throwing punches at various members of the Indiana Pacers are the functional -- and nonfunctioning -- equivalent of that guy who faced down the tank in Tiananmen Square. Only he had a majestic, noble cause -- democracy. What these guys were fighting for is beyond me. To take on athletes in the prime of their lives, men almost 7 feet tall and bulked up to the strength of an ox, is stupidity so sheer, so perfect, that it is rarely found in nature and, by itself, contradicts Darwin. People this dumb should have died out by now.

I didn't see too many people trying to go toe-to-toe with these guys. There was the one moron who went on the court, squared off with Artest and got clocked three times in the face. That was pretty stupid. But the guy Artest attacked and the guy who got punched by Jackson after he threw soda in Artest's face when his friend was getting jumped by Artest didn't want any part of a fight. If the one guy really wanted to brawl, he would have jumped on Artest as soon as Artest jumped on his friend.

But I don't think the fans are as stupid as the players. In a one-on-one fight, sure they'd get killed. But mob rules rule. I don't care how huge you are, you're the bigger idiot if you challenge hundreds of fans in a hostile stadium.

Thurgreed(Did you see that clip of Artest mugging for the camera with his cd on the Today Show? Wow)Marshall

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Pity, not guilt.

Makes no difference to me.

Thurgreed(You're going to feel guilty you said that, though -- oh yeah. [bown chikka bown bown] You're going to feel real guilty)Marshall

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Granted, most bottles opened at home aren't going to have ten people huddled around the bottle waiting for it to be opened...

But the two people huddled around the bottle at my house are generally quite impatient. I don't have one of them fancy gizmos (though I have walked around a Crate and Barrel store on more than one occasion with one of them in my basket - my uncertainty as to whether or not it is the one that works best has hampered the actual purchase of it), but I did note during my last move that Mr Man and I had a combined 8-10 cheap corkscrews. Know what I did? I threw 5 of them away. Talk about wasteful.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I am a snob and a former waitress who used to open wine, so honestly, secretly (I guess it is not so secret anymore) I look down on those who use fancy corkscrews because I think everyone should be able to open wine with a waiter's corkscrew.

I think this, not because I'm snobby about corkscrews, but because these are the only ones that work reliably, and I hate the idea of anyone being stranded with a bottle of wine they can't open because their too-complicated opener died.

My parents had a double lever type when I was growing up, like this:

They sometimes broke the cork in half, and the levers would get off kilter and wiggly, and they generally sucked. But, hey, it was the '70s and no one had anything better. Then my parents got a screwpull:

These were much easier to use, but the forked part would get "sprung" over time and the screwing action would pull the whole thing down over the bottle neck rather than pulling out the cork. Therefore, I concluded that these, also, suck, though my parents still swear by it.

Next up was the two-prong:

These had the great benefit of looking really cool and modern. They worked not at all.

Not being able to quite convince myself that some fancy schmancy big machine was necessary in my college dorm room, I finally broke down and tried the good, old fashioned waiter corkscrew.

$5 at the supermarket, and, once you learn to use them, the suckers work every time and don't break down. And you can manage them no matter how drunk and wobbly you are (very useful when trying to open bottles of wine while wasted in a row boat, for example).

Now, modest though they may be, one can still drop some cash and get a really expensive, cool one:

Anyone with a fetish for really good cooking knives would appreciate the inherent snobbery in a Laguiole corkscrew. And know that it ran you between $110 and $180.

[ilikenewsocks]

SpongeBob-napping runs rampant in Minnesota , Florida , Texas ...

I could go on.

Free SpongeBob!

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
but I did note during my last move that Mr Man and I had a combined 8-10 cheap corkscrews. Know what I did? I threw 5 of them away. Talk about wasteful.

Wasteful, indeed. You could have given them to the Burger family for Christmas.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Your confusing the guilt-induced lay with the sympathy-induced lay. They're both good, though. So I've heard.

[sharp intake of breath]

Say it isn't so, flower!! Must all my heroes have feet of clay?

Sob.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by dtb
[sharp intake of breath]

Say it isn't so, flower!! Must all my heroes have feet of clay?

Sob.

It was done on purpose, of course. A subtle, or at least what passes for subtle around here, slap at the other cretins on the board and their disregard for all we hold sacred.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
It was done on purpose, of course. A subtle, or at least what passes for subtle around here, slap at the other cretins on the board and their disregard for all we hold sacred.

PHEW!!!

You had me worried there for a second.

My world is back on kilter. Thank you.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Gattigap
To dredge up this old thread, I agree with this, TM. That said, I've noticed that The Artest Problem is working its way off of the sportspages into hi-falutin talkinghead-dom, no doubt with a short hop, skip and jump to Dr. Phil.

En route, I stumbled upon one talkinghead whose criticism of the fans is, IMHO, pretty valid.

• As far as I'm concerned, the guys I've seen over and over again on TV throwing punches at various members of the Indiana Pacers are the functional -- and nonfunctioning -- equivalent of that guy who faced down the tank in Tiananmen Square. Only he had a majestic, noble cause -- democracy. What these guys were fighting for is beyond me. To take on athletes in the prime of their lives, men almost 7 feet tall and bulked up to the strength of an ox, is stupidity so sheer, so perfect, that it is rarely found in nature and, by itself, contradicts Darwin. People this dumb should have died out by now.

I think alcohol may have been involved.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I think alcohol may have been involved.

Quit projecting.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Good lord. What is with you people? It's a fucking gift. Do you expect me to buy someone a three dollar corkscrew if it, in fact, is the best opener on the market? What I want to give is something that looks cool and is very easy to use. I saw this one in the movie Sideways and the actress operating it made it look like a snap. So call it what you want, but these judgments are stupid and pointless -- especially when the only alternative suggested so far has been a swiss army knife.

Speaking for myself only, I was joking. Has it been that long since we discussed the most prestigious law schools/law firms/wine openers?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Next up was the two-prong:

These had the great benefit of looking really cool and modern. They worked not at all.

I don't drink wine, but am the official bottle-opener when I am around the winos in my family. My mother-in-law has one of these, and it always works like a charm for me. Unlike the one I have at home (the traditional waiter-type corkscrew), it has never broken a cork or chipped a bottle.

It arrived with one of those round foil-cutters about two weeks after she went to a co-worker's Pampered Chef party. She has no memory of ordering it, or the four terra cotta bake pans, but is happy nonetheless.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Yes, plus another gift of greater value that actually has the value at which it's priced.

Going into my scrooge mode, I've never understood paying excessive amounts for gifts simply because it's a gift. It's just throwing money away. If you want to spend more, buy more gifts or buy something else that is good. If you wouldn't buy the item yourself because it's just throwing away money, why buy it for someone else?

Example--my broker sends me a fruit basket every year. Not ordinary fruits, like pears, oranges, etc. such as Harry & David. No, it's some high-end "fruitier" in NYC that sends all nature of odd fruits--Kumquats, Asian pears, loquats, kiwis, and stranger shit I've never heard of. Personally, I'd be happier with the basic basket of pears. Or 5 of the basic baskets, which still would cost less.

OK, cross Burger off the potlatch invite list.