Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
I'll skip the obligatory "what language is this" BS crap and simply say that the winnings of my ridiculous hot streak at party poker, where I ran $1,000 up into $8,000 in 3 weeks, are now basically gone. (assuming Dallas doesn't pull out their series). So it's back to financing the renovations in a more traditional manner.

PP's a motherfucker. I hereby vow no more gambling at least for the next thirty days.

moi? a mother-fuckah?

[lo-berry]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Looks like someone over at infirm needs some attention.

TM

Hey dickcheese, you were the one who came to our board and started mouthing off. I am checking the archives here before gettin into it, but so far you still don't impres me.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by lo-berry
Hey dickcheese, you were the one who came to our board and started mouthing off. I am checking the archives here before gettin into it, but so far you still don't impres me.

Welcome. Have fun playing with Thurgreed, but I hope you take the time to do more than that on your visit here.

Oh, and some helpful advice -- Pretty Little Flower is a dude. If someone had told me that back in the day, I would have saved myself from a lot of embarrassing emails, IMs, PMs, etc.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
See you soon.

Sebby, man, I owe you one. Not a blow job, just a generic "one."

I feel like that Cyrano De Bergerac cat.

God, that was Dennis Millerish of me.

God, that was Dennis Millerish of me.

Fuck, I did it again.

I'm a tool.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I think that "cheating" is different for women with women than women with men. Even among women who are very straight, there's a decent chance they've engage in a little bit of fucking around with other women in college or whenever. But to actually be in a significant relationship with another woman is another thing. Would I be pissed i found out if Mrs. mmm (who is not actually Mrs. mmm, but who cares) ate out some other chick when I wasn't around? Only because I would have liked to participate or at least watch. Would I be pissed if she actually was involved with and cared for a woman that she was fucking around with? Yeah, probably even more pissed than I found out that she had just fucked some guy, and it would probbaly really hurt my feelings.* I guess that (for once) I'm with bnb on this one: if you feel like you want to cheat, address the problems with your relationship and end it before you actually do cheat.

If a woman hasn't figured out that she is basically heterosexual by the time she's in her late 20s or so, I probably wouldn't want to be with her. If she's actually out there trying to figure out if she wants to spend the rest of her life with a woman, then that would really fuck up a relationship, whether I knew or not.

I don't believe that there are that many true middle of the spectrum bisexuals; lots of people fuck around with members of the same sex because sex is fun and hot and all that. The fact that women do it with women without being truly long-term "lesbians" more than men do it with men without being truly long-term "gays" is just a societal thing. History could have gone a different way and Sebby would be offering to show ShapeShifter a quality blowjob, but guys generally don't fuck other guys unless they're at the gay end of the spectrum, whereas women cross over into some playing around all the time. And thank god for it.

* So, anyway, some follow-up on stuff I mentioned previously and some thoughts on snooping: I really watched her like a hawk for a month or so, including reading all her e-mail and actually following her around town a few times. (Which was actually pretty fun because of the spy aspect, but sucked for other reasons.) I didn't see anything problematic and I actually believe that she has never lied to me about anything now. I think that she has more of a problem with booze than I thought, though, because I realize that she tends to really pound drinks a lot and quickly, more so when I'm not around.

I'm starting to realize that I probably jump to conclusions a lot, and I'm really glad that I didn't really confront her about it without evidence, but I also feel bad that I actually snooped on her. I don't think that I could ever tell her the truth; I really feel like I betrayed her by doing so, especially since I didn't find anything. An ex once revealed that she snooped on my e-mail by telling me that she caught me in a very innocuous lie designed to preotect her feelings, and I broke up with her. And I think that it would be appropriate for Mrs. mmm to do the same to me. So, anyway, think about your decision if you decide to snoop, and be prepared for the consequences of either result of your snooping. The result of all this is that I've realized I'm a very good liar, and that my girlfriend's not, and now I feel like this is a big deal in our relationship and the way I'm thinking about it.

So, another question for the board: how often do you lie to your SO about things, whether significant (affairs, etc.) or insignificant ("I didn't see that you called until I was already out the door with the guys on the way to the course.") You can ignore the silly stuff that's necessary ("no, your stretch marks don't bother me and make me want to fuck your sister").

I started reading this post thinking about my wife sleeping with another woman.

I ended it feeling like I'd just read a draft opinion letter from a 2d year. I feel like I just developed dyslexia.

Expect papers in the mail; this will effect my future earning capacity.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

[i]Originally posted by You know, I lived in a sorority. Did you?

I saw that movie. You should be jailed for it. Rob Schneider wouldn't touch that script.

Jesus, I just channeled that vannuys cat. Fuck me. Its like I don't even know myself.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Why don't you develop a wedding-screening mechanism a la Sebby?

Instead of using the enclosed reply card, go old skool, and handwrite an acceptance. "Notcasesensitive accepts with great pleasure the invitatation of Mr. and Mrs. Fringe Benefit to the marriage of Miss longtimelurker and Mr. Burger. Please note that this acceptance is contingent on there being no money dance, money tree, or other money-related events, and on the bar remaining open through dinner. Please advise as to whether these terms will be met."

Dude, I have no issue with money, gifts, dances, etc...

My only wedding gripes are with mandatory black tie (trying to hard... get over yourself, Buffy Auchincloss-in-training, you're not landed gentry) and cash bars (you got any Ripple in your double wide, Cletus?).

"I fucking need you tonight... forever's gonna start tonight..."

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Dude, I have no issue with money, gifts, dances, etc...

Sure, so amend your acceptance as necessary.

I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Then explain the wins of Ruben, Fantasia and the strong showing of Bo? The crap has been weedede out. Even the prancing balladeer isnt a Nick lachey or Band who sings Closing Time

It's still crap. Just because you wouldn't know good music if it got stuck in your sandy vagina doesn't mean that some pre-packaged Paigowbangable dude with a bunch of signing lessons has any talent. Fuck, I don't even like the Michelle Branchs of the world very much, but at least she's writing her own shit.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
BTW, have I mentioned how much I hate the Oregon booze monopoly? Shit cost wayyyyyy too much here. I don't miss California that often, but sure as hell do every time I buy liquor. Why in the fuck can't I buy booze at Trader Joe's and Costco? Why, Bilmore, why?

I'm heading south shortly, and I'm bringing back a carry on full of booze. Are there limits on that? Can I carry on a case of mixed bottles?

you cannot bring liquor across a state line, can you? DC had competitive liquor stores and Va. had fixed price state stores. When No. Va. people had parties they tended to buy at a DC store- urban legend was that the Va. police took down Va. license plate numbers in the DC parking lots and popped the guy once he crossed the bridge back-

Just for background, not applicable to you, if you saw Farenheit 9/11 you know the Oregon state police can't guard the borders so you're golden.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Let me post some lyrics from the best album of all time:

"Fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas
[fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas]
Fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas
[fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas]
Fuck the Omegas, fuck fuck the Omegas
[fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas]
Fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas
[fuck the Omegas, fuck the Omegas]

Fuck the Sigmas, fuck fuck the Sigmas
[fuck the Sigmas, fuck fuck the Sigmas]
etc. etc.

All you ladies say fuck the Deltas, fuck fuck the Deltas
[fuck the Deltas, fuck fuck the Deltas]
etc. etc.

Fresh Kid Ice is possibly the greatest unintentional joke in rap history, just ahead of Bushwick Bill.

"Between her legs she had a big red spot, singing Do Wah Diddy..."

Lyrical genius.

[ABBAKiss]

Has anyone tried this? Details please. I am buying one for Commando Boy.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I didn't say that. Both you and Gatti are putting words in my mouth. I said the guys I worked with were losers. Cheated on their wives, treated them badly (one guy had an affair with his wife's sister) and were *shocked* when their wives walked out.

And still, when we had the "my divorce is finally final" night out on the town for these guys, I was surprised at how many women fell for the line, "hey my divorce is final today. I need someone to sit on my lap." It worked every freakin time - scary.

Translation: I'm still upset no one asked me to sit on their lap.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Has anyone tried this? Details please. I am buying one for Commando Boy.

Light. Inhale. Big hits. Tried, tested and perfected over hundreds of years.

I'd buy him a steamer (no, not the Cleveland variety, unless he digs that). All the bang, none of the smoke.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Translation: I'm still upset no one asked me to sit on their lap.

TM

Tranny trawling requires a Herculean cocktail intake usually reserved for college reunions and bachelor parties. You would not see that level of indulgence at a mere divorce-finalization soiree.