imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash. - Page 261

Atticus Grinch · 02-09-2005, 03:23 AM

I was ff-ing through some MTV tonight and slowed it down for the Snoop slow jam "Let's Get Blown." I'd passed over it a couple of times before but decided to watch it because there was something weirdly familiar about the set. And it dawned on me.

The video contains a couple of visual puns on one of the FB's favorite movies.

I shizzle you not, mah nizzles.

Skeks in the city · 02-09-2005, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Ha[s great white] responded to the ads headed "Married Man wants something on the side" yet? Because otherwise I think what you're looking for only exists in Sex in the City reruns.

It is a cold, hard truth I speak.

Your wife is a beard and you're having trouble getting dicked on the side?

02-09-2005, 09:29 AM

Someone special wants to wish you a Happy Ash Wednesday.

Hank Chinaski · 02-09-2005, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spank Myasski
Seriously. How often do you drink to excess and then decide that "hey, now is a good time to post something?"
Something that no one gets. And no one cares to get.

1 sober- see "thoughtful" post 3 minutes earlier on PB
2 if I'm correct about who your primary is, any group you are part of is not my target audience.
3 here's what i don't get:

Here's the newest teacher busted for screwing a 13 year old student.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,146797,00.html

Quote:

Pamela Rogers Turner, 27, was charged Monday with 15 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and 13 counts of statutory rape

Questions-

is a battery a different act than the rape- did the kid get off 28 times or 13?

The teachers who end up banging these kids are always great looking- I didn't even have a teacher this good looking and the last one caught was even better looking. Are they bored or kind or what?

I wish I had gone to school in the south.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 02-09-2005, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski

is a battery a different act than the rape- did the kid get off 28 times or 13?

He's 13--he might have gotten off 50 times.

But I assume the battery is sexual touching not necessarily including acts within the definition of statutory rape. So 15 times, 13 with the mouth or hand, or getting him to put it in.

LessinSF · 02-09-2005, 11:31 AM

Hey, Jack Kerouac, I am here with the Houston Fats.I kno A couple comments from the road.

The Philly fans were much more into the game. It seemed liked half the people I saw were wearing Eagles gear, whereas the Pats fans were much more blase. Hell, my cabbie in Philly could only talk about the Eagles even after I told him I was from out of town.

That said, one of the funniest conversations I have ever heard was in a Boston bar during the game. There was no barback and the female waitress was about to head downstairs to lug up cases of beer, when a patron volunteered to do it for her. Her manager wouldn't let the patron do it, being concerned about liability. The conversation went something like this:

"I'll get the bee-arh"
"No, you can't get the bee-arh"
"But you got no bah-arh back"
"I know, but you can't get the bee-arh"
"But you got no bah-arh back"
etc. etc.

There are no one syllable words theh-arh.

greatwhitenorthchick · 02-09-2005, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LessinSF
female waitress

I enjoyed the story, but this detracted from it because I kept wondering when the male waitress was going to make an appearance.

Not Bob · 02-09-2005, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I enjoyed the story, but this detracted from it because I kept wondering when the male waitress was going to make an appearance.

I usually wait for karaoke night at the Dew Drop Inn to release my inner diva (who sometimes wears a Friendly's uniform, a la Donna Summer), but for you, I'll make an exception.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 02-09-2005, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LessinSF
A couple comments from the road.

A couple more on The Most Amazing Race Ever.

1) Is Hayden the whiniest baby ever? If you choose a sucky cab driver, is the best solution to get out in the middle of nowhere, where you don't speak the language, to find another cab? Does the expression "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me" ever enter your mind? There are a dozen cabs at the clay soldiers and you pick the same idiot? Good work. And, btw, I'm never giving you my spare key.

And, Kris and Jon, how do you get on the second-arriving flight to Chicago when you got to the airport first, and had your choice of flights? If United didn't suck as much with on time arrivals on the show as it does in real life, you would have lost by half an hour. The train would have been long gone at that point. (which, by the way, middle-aged-Burger could have run around with no problem--it's a race: find a way). But your flight picking cost you $1 million, because Freddy and Kendra got Hayden's cab, and you would have overtaken them.

So, Freddy, with all the money, please buy yourself some decent glasses and a better do'rag.

That is all.

spookyfish · 02-09-2005, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski

Here's the newest teacher busted for screwing a 13 year old student.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,146797,00.html

I didn't even have a teacher this good looking and the last one caught was even better looking. Are they bored or kind or what?

I wish I had gone to school in the south.

Oh, boo hoo. When I was thirteen, my teacher looked like this:

And no, I didn't have sex with her. Sebby's into that sort of thing.

spookyfish · 02-09-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LessinSF
"I'll get the bee-arh"
"No, you can't get the bee-arh"
"But you got no bah-arh back"
"I know, but you can't get the bee-arh"
"But you got no bah-arh back"
etc. etc.

There are no one syllable words theh-arh.

Drinking with the Kennedys, I see.

Dualit · 02-09-2005, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
According to Defamer, Desperate Houswives' Marcia Cross is going to come out by being on the cover of an upcoming cover of the Advocate. Cool.

According to The Advocate, she's not.

Alex_de_Large · 02-09-2005, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dualit
According to The Advocate, she's not.

I stand corrected. Or Defamer does. or something.

Dualit · 02-09-2005, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
‘Simple Life’ star Nicole Richie is engaged
She plans to wed boyfriend Adam Goldstein, aka DJ AM.

Odd. In a google search for a pic of this guy, all I seem to get are pictures of doctors.

ETA: They both have lost weight. Rumor has it that Adam had a gastric bypass and Nicole had some work done.

barely_legal · 02-09-2005, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
A couple more on The Most Amazing Race Ever.

1) Is Hayden the whiniest baby ever? If you choose a sucky cab driver, is the best solution to get out in the middle of nowhere, where you don't speak the language, to find another cab? Does the expression "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me" ever enter your mind? There are a dozen cabs at the clay soldiers and you pick the same idiot? Good work. And, btw, I'm never giving you my spare key.

That is all.

Hayden sucks, but it was actually Aaron who made them get out of the cab in the middle of nowhere -- she told him that was stupid. And she was the one that asked him not to use the same sucky cab driver again. Hayden may be an annoying whiny bitch, but Aaron made the mistakes in this leg that led to their elimination.