It's all about me

[Ben Lurkin]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Aw, come on in, the water's fine. Just don't sit next to Atticus, he's a little grabby after a few cocktails.

ha. grabby and gabby, nice combo.

[Atticus Grinch]

Interesting dilemma for transubstantiation fans:

What if you're deathly allergic to the Body of Our Lord and Savior?

It's like they're mixing up Cosby routines. "Eggs! Eggs are in Jesus Christ! And milk! And wheat!"

[SlaveNoMore]

Ben Lurkin
I am a lurker not a poster, so I do not know if it is my place to point this out, but, word to the wise, there is no "I" in "team".

Most importantly, there's no "Team" in "I"

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say do you know that "if" is the middle word in "life"?

Watch out, those goddamn monkeys bite, I'll tell ya.

Wow. Hell hath no fury like a Grinch scorned. Yikes.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Most importantly, there's no "Team" in "I"

Only appropriate answer to motivational "we are a team" speech:

Fuck that, what's it pay?

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
What the hell makes a new person feel like they can just push people around?

1. You need a Rabbi.
2. You need to grow some balls.
3. You need to tell sugar britches to fuck off and get your Rabbi to back you.

[Santorum]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Let's say someone laterals into your office and the first day they're here they make no effort to get along with people - or play nice with the others. And this person (I dislike the use of em, so I'll use person instead), is not only micromanaging the project it forced upon you but is condescending at the same time. You can't avoid this person or their projects. But the micromanaging and the checking in to see if you're done yet (no I'll bring it to your fucking office when I'm done) is bad enough, but the condescending crap is unbearable. Shit like:
when you send me an e-mail I need X, Y and Z in the re: line.
when you bring me copies I want plastic paper clips, not staples.
Have you finished that project yet?
I want your memos formatted in way different from how everyone else wants them.
Have you finished that project yet?
I need you to redo this memo in the format that is ridiculously similar to the way you have it but not exactly the same.
Have you finished that project yet?
I need you to redo the memo that X did so that it's formatted correctly (what? why am I redoing her memo?)
Have you finished that project yet?

Is it reasonable to tell this person they're being unreasonable and condescending? And to stop with the micromanaging? Or just better to avoid and hope that someone else will redo their own damn memos. But I can't avoid the e-mails can I?

ETA: actual response. I'm new here, and late to the party, although I have been lurking since the Yahoo days.

Aside from all the good and useful practical advice others have given, here are some things I tend to do with pricks at work:

1. Undermine the prick. Make him wish he had never moved firms and hasten the day he leaves. E.g., make use of a caustic nickname and share it with your friends, the paralegals, the support staff, and others. I like alliteration, so I might call him "Plasti-clip Peter" (if his name is peter). You can also play off his physical attributes, e.g., if he's husky and named Mark I suggest "Mega Mark." You get the idea. Drop the nickname into conversations with partners you like and others in power. You'd be surprised how quickly that asshole who mentioned his place on law review stopped dropping it into coversations when he found out we all -- including his abused secretary -- call him "Law Review" behind his back. If your firm is a place that cares about such things, mention that he abuses the staff to the secretarial coordinator or paralegal manager. Tell him you can;t help him out, but only when he will take the fall.

2. Tell him to fuck the fuck off. Next time he pesters you for a finished project, tell him he'll get it when it's done and to leave you alone in the meantime. Agree with others that he's probably just an insecure bully who will back down if you stand up to him.

3. Ignore the bullshit requests. Nothing says "fuck the fuck off" -- aside from "fuck the fuck off" -- like total, blatant and intentional disregard. When he asks where his plastic paperclips are, tell him all you had handy was your stapler, or that Document Production can whip that memo into whatever format he likes in half an hour,

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Only appropriate answer to motivational "we are a team" speech:

Fuck that, what's it pay?

'Sheed, that you?

CTC baby, just CTC.

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Only appropriate answer to motivational "we are a team" speech:

Fuck that, what's it pay?

"show me the money", from you?
Given your priorities, more like "show me the cunny"

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Santorum
ETA: actual response. I'm new here, and late to the party, although I have been lurking since the Yahoo days.

Aside from all the good and useful practical advice others have given, here are some things I tend to do with pricks at work:

1. Undermine the prick. Make him wish he had never moved firms and hasten the day he leaves. E.g., make use of a caustic nickname and share it with your friends, the paralegals, the support staff, and others. I like alliteration, so I might call him "Plasti-clip Peter" (if his name is peter). You can also play off his physical attributes, e.g., if he's husky and named Mark I suggest "Mega Mark." You get the idea. Drop the nickname into conversations with partners you like and others in power. You'd be surprised how quickly that asshole who mentioned his place on law review stopped dropping it into coversations when he found out we all -- including his abused secretary -- call him "Law Review" behind his back. If your firm is a place that cares about such things, mention that he abuses the staff to the secretarial coordinator or paralegal manager. Tell him you can;t help him out, but only when he will take the fall.

2. Tell him to fuck the fuck off. Next time he pesters you for a finished project, tell him he'll get it when it's done and to leave you alone in the meantime. Agree with others that he's probably just an insecure bully who will back down if you stand up to him.

3. Ignore the bullshit requests. Nothing says "fuck the fuck off" -- aside from "fuck the fuck off" -- like total, blatant and intentional disregard. When he asks where his plastic paperclips are, tell him all you had handy was your stapler, or that Document Production can whip that memo into whatever format he likes in half an hour,

Caveat to all this:

if this guy will make partner before you, I'd be really careful with all the muscle flexing and telling him to fuck off. it's tough enough w/o having some enemy on the insdie.

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Caveat to all this:

if this guy will make partner before you, I'd be really careful with all the muscle flexing and telling him to fuck off. it's tough enough w/o having some enemy on the insdie.

Assuming not one, but TWO, associates in his department will make partner. Sheee-it, can you get a volume discount on the shit you're smoking?

[Santorum]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Caveat to all this:

if this guy will make partner before you, I'd be really careful with all the muscle flexing and telling him to fuck off. it's tough enough w/o having some enemy on the insdie.

Yes, maybe I should have made it more clear that my "advice" should not be taken literally. Except maybe the part about giving the assjack a nickname, which is just good clean American fun for the whole family. But not the rest of the stuff I wrote, necessarily.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Skeks in the city
Assuming not one, but TWO, associates in his department will make partner. Sheee-it, can you get a volume discount on the shit you're smoking?

I forgot to list my working assumptions:

Kerry wins so economic boomtimes are back! milk and honey!

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous

You want the memos formatted differently format 'em you damn self.

When I am done, you will be the first to know. Contacting me a million times to see if I am done will make me work more slowly. For example, if you are on the checkout line at home depot and you act impatient, the cashier begins to move slower than a glacier.

My best advice: use the phrase "Get over it." a lot.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Santorum
ETA: actual response. I'm new here, and late to the party, although I have been lurking since the Yahoo days.

Aside from all the good and useful practical advice others have given, here are some things I tend to do with pricks at work:

1. Undermine the prick. Make him wish he had never moved firms and hasten the day he leaves. E.g., make use of a caustic nickname and share it with your friends, the paralegals, the support staff, and others. I like alliteration, so I might call him "Plasti-clip Peter" (if his name is peter). You can also play off his physical attributes, e.g., if he's husky and named Mark I suggest "Mega Mark." You get the idea. Drop the nickname into conversations with partners you like and others in power. You'd be surprised how quickly that asshole who mentioned his place on law review stopped dropping it into coversations when he found out we all -- including his abused secretary -- call him "Law Review" behind his back. If your firm is a place that cares about such things, mention that he abuses the staff to the secretarial coordinator or paralegal manager. Tell him you can;t help him out, but only when he will take the fall.

2. Tell him to fuck the fuck off. Next time he pesters you for a finished project, tell him he'll get it when it's done and to leave you alone in the meantime. Agree with others that he's probably just an insecure bully who will back down if you stand up to him.

3. Ignore the bullshit requests. Nothing says "fuck the fuck off" -- aside from "fuck the fuck off" -- like total, blatant and intentional disregard. When he asks where his plastic paperclips are, tell him all you had handy was your stapler, or that Document Production can whip that memo into whatever format he likes in half an hour,

Yeah, whatever . . . .

IF all else fails take a dump in his office.