General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
OK, my 10 year old daughter was offered a modeling contract (unsolicited, out of the blue, nothing she'd ever even thought about doing before). Daddy said no. She expressed mild disappointment and moved on, no big deal. But I keep worrying about whether I did the right thing. Any thoughts?

Aren't these just scams 90% of the time? Like, "here's a modeling contract", now come in and we'll put together a portfolio of photos for $1000. And we'll call agents for another $500 and so on.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Aren't these just scams 90% of the time? Like, "here's a modeling contract", now come in and we'll put together a portfolio of photos for $1000. And we'll call agents for another $500 and so on.

Yes, they usually are, but this one was not. We were approached by the actual company that wanted her in the ads. They sicked their ad agency on us, which is a reputable ad agency, or at least an ad agency that is as reputable as they come, not a modeling agency. So there would have been a check coming to us from this, not the other way around. But it is exactly PJ's point that led us to say no.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Yes, they usually are, but this one was not. We were approached by the actual company that wanted her in the ads. They sicked their ad agency on us, which is a reputable ad agency, not a modeling agency. But it is exactly PJ's point that led us to say no.

big time modeling seems scary, there's that documentary made by one of the 70's teen models with Brooke Shields and all the others. But I know one girl who did local department store newspaper type stuff, not high glamour-you've gained a pound stuff, and she was okay.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

BTW, how did I create a whole new thread over here -- I didn't mean to do that?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Yes, they usually are, but this one was not. We were approached by the actual company that wanted her in the ads. They sicked their ad agency on us, which is a reputable ad agency, or at least an ad agency that is as reputable as they come, not a modeling agency. So there would have been a check coming to us from this, not the other way around. But it is exactly PJ's point that led us to say no.

Oh well, I thought there was an easier way out than anorexia. To wit, "honey, that's just a scam artist."

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Oh well, I thought there was an easier way out than anorexia. To wit, "honey, that's just a scam artist."

Hmmm. Maybe I can work it in. Thanks.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Oh well, I thought there was an easier way out than anorexia. To wit, "honey, that's just a scam artist."

Yeah, that'll help her self esteem. And when boys start calling, you can also tell her, "honey, they don't really like you, they just want sex."

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Yeah, that'll help her self esteem. And when boys start calling, you can also tell her, "honey, they don't really like you, they just want sex."

Hey, if G3 wants his daughter to slut around, he can take your approach. I'm just proposing he introduce her quickly to how guys are.

"But of course you're beautiful--that's why he figured the scam would work."

[dtb]

Yesterday was kind of chilly here in TCOTU, so on the way out the door, I told my son to put on his warm coat, as it was cold outside. His warm coat is "puffy" (I don't think it's down, but you know what I mean -- like a down coat -- whatever.)

Anyway, he puts it on, and to my absolute horror, has this saddish look on his face and says, "I don't want to wear this -- I look fat in it...."

He's only FIVE!!!!

And (not that this really matters, I don't think), if anything, he's a little underweight (not malnourished or anything, but probably below the 50th percentile for his height.)

I have no idea where he got this, and has NEVER said anything about being fat, or thin, or anything like it. I suppose when I was pregnant, I would complain about being fat, but I haven't said anything like that in about a year.

We talk about nutrition when explaining why (for example) he can't have french fries every day -- I never say it's because "he'll get fat" nor do I EVER bring up the subject of weight with him. It never occurred to me that he would even be thinking about it.

I am distressed.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

It's scary how quickly societal attitudes get imposed on kids. We have a toddler who was trying to recite the differences between men and women the other day, and included, "waiters talk to men and bring them the bill..." It is very hard to escape the biases out there.

We, of course, explained that waiters are behaving like sexist pigs ...

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
But I know one girl who did local department store newspaper type stuff, not high glamour-you've gained a pound stuff, and she was okay.

Oh yeah, that's exactly what Nicollette Sheridan told her mom in "Paper Dolls" before she became a debauched teenage cokehead, and don't even get me started on what happened when those NYC vultures got their hands on Tootie in "Facts of Life" and started dressing her all provocatively before Mrs. Garrett stepped in to save her...

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
But I know one girl who did local department store newspaper type stuff, not high glamour-you've gained a pound stuff, and she was okay.

I'll second this. If you approach it as a fun thing to do once, it's one thing. It's quite another to say that this is what she's going to do with her life. I knew a girl growing up who occasionally did some modeling work - she'd show up in local ads, or in fashion spreads in the local paper, but it wasn't a big deal for her. She had an agent who gave people her head shots, and sometimes something came up. She seemed pretty normal. College, business degree, works in marketing for a small company, etc. There was another girl who was moderately more frequently in such things whose mother seemed obsessed. She ended up pretty screwed up. Baby at 17, etc.

So I don't think modelling is nearly so important as how the parents approach it.

Personally, I'm a little disappointed in the baltspawn - by the time the Olsen twins were their age, they were making like $250k a year. The baltspawn have never brought in a dime.

Originally posted by dtb
Yesterday was kind of chilly here in TCOTU, so on the way out the door, I told my son to put on his warm coat, as it was cold outside....

Anyway, he puts it on, and to my absolute horror, has this saddish look on his face and says, "I don't want to wear this -- I look fat in it...."

He's only FIVE!!!!

On the flipside from GGG's comment, remember that "I look fat in this" may mean something very different in the 5-yr old's mouth from what it means in your ears. I remember one of my kids around that age describing a well-loved family member as "fat" without a trace of negative connotation; it was just a description. We had to explain the concept of sensitivity about one's body image.

In your case, it sounds as though your son does have a negative association with "looking fat," but that doesn't necessarily mean he's absorbed the whole range of American social stigma that ties into that phrase. Possibly he just heard someone once wondering if "I look fat in this" and picked it up as a concern people have about clothing.

Anyhow, he's got a long time to learn about social attitudes and form his own opinions, and a good teacher at hand.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by credit this
On the flipside from GGG's comment, remember that "I look fat in this" may mean something very different in the 5-yr old's mouth from what it means in your ears.

Perhaps he was saying "I look phat" because he was wearing a Triple F.A.T. Goose jacket.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Yeah, that'll help her self esteem. And when boys start calling, you can also tell her, "honey, they don't really like you, they just want sex."

There's got to be a good children's book about this for 10-year-olds. Maybe Madonna can do that one next.