Fashion Board 3-5-04 to 4-6-04

[dtb]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I hate it when I agree with one of your "is the Flower kidding or not?" posts.

Anyway, other than the snidely condescending remark and the gallant thrashing of the impolite miscreant, that was pretty much what I was going to say when I caught up.

This is not really a response to NotBob, but his was the latest post and I just hit quote...

So anyway, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND THE ELEVATOR THING?!?!?

I mean, if the elevator is super-crowded, you get off if you're in front to let those whose stop it is get off -- regardless of whether you're a chick or a dude.

If there is enough room to manoever (I think I misspelled that...) without elbowing people in their sensitive parts, then do so and clear a path to the door. DUH!

I have never encountered this type of difficulty (or anything approaching this level of hand-wringing-inspiring angst) over elevator-alighting ettiquitte in my ginormous office building.

I will, however, concede that there is an odd aberration of "chivalry" when it comes to letting women on the elevator first -- why the elevator of all places? Just strange, that's all -- but the disembarking question has never reared its (apparently) disfigured head.

[dtb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Last week on SNL Seth whatshisname gushed that he had a heterosexual man crush on Colin Firth. It made me think of you, Atticus.

TOTALLY!! I turned to my husband and tried to explain the concept of heterosexual man crush -- but he didn't get it. I was trying to think of an example, but I couldn't remember who the popular dudes with the dudes were.

A little help, please?

GF telephone call count, three. And ist only 2:18.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by dtb
This is not really a response to NotBob, but his was the latest post and I just hit quote...

So anyway, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND THE ELEVATOR THING?!?!?

I mean, if the elevator is super-crowded, you get off if you're in front to let those whose stop it is get off -- regardless of whether you're a chick or a dude.

If there is enough room to manoever (I think I misspelled that...) without elbowing people in their sensitive parts, then do so and clear a path to the door. DUH!

I have never encountered this type of difficulty (or anything approaching this level of hand-wringing-inspiring angst) over elevator-alighting ettiquitte in my ginormous office building.

I will, however, concede that there is an odd aberration of "chivalry" when it comes to letting women on the elevator first -- why the elevator of all places? Just strange, that's all -- but the disembarking question has never reared its (apparently) disfigured head.

Wow. Et tu, dtb?

Seriously, my angst (about this issue, anyway) is not at a handwringing level. Elevator conversations, however, can inspire angst of the handwringing variety in moi. You would think that lawyers should know better than to talk about confidential stuff on a crowded elevator, but no. And I really don't care to hear about how bad the weather was in St. Somewhere when I haven't been out of town in weeks. And there is something very unseemly about two women bashing all males as being pond scum when there is a male on the elevator. (Though when I turned around and said "oh come on, we're all not that bad," they at least had the courtesy to be amused and apologetic.)

[SlaveNoMore]

Pretty Little Flower
Way back in the day, back before Infirmation, before the Yahoo boards had transformed into the IB, life on the Boards was pretty idealistic. This was way before Slavey-Come-Lately even had a computer. Back then, it was folks like me, Plated, Cornhole, Paigow, etc., etc. A few of us had begun to get to know each other and occasionally hangout IRL. We thought it would be a great idea to have a GA party for those of us who were "out" with each other. At the time time, we referred to it as being "on the bus." E.g., "Hey, that Comma Chaser guy, is he on the bus?" There used to be a very cool bar in the East Village (this was back when the East Village was really the East Village) called Altamont - kind of a divey place, great music, fantastic juke box (tons of Stones, Dead, you name it), but sometimes a rough crowd. We hung out there all the time, and Plated, who had a Harley at the time, had befriended some of the biker-types who were regulars there. This was quite helpful because, being for the most part dorky lawyers, we often would get a lot of shit from some of the regulars, and it definitely helped to have Plated's biker posse watching our backs. Well, we decide to have a big GA blowout at Altamont, but we knew that this would piss some of the regulars off, who were already mad about the fact that we were hanging out there in the first place. So Plated gets the idea to actually hire some of these bikers as like our own personal bouncers for the party. Well, these guys decide that we need the real deal, so they have some Hells Angels friends to come in to bounce for us. Well, things get nuts. Cornhole is wandering around with this head full of mescaline, and totally serene look on his face. Paigs has some bad acid and is way tweaked. So, she is all over this one HA dude, and the HA dude's girl starts tripping and starts hanging all over this other random guy who is not a GA or a biker, just some dude in the bar. Well, the HAs are way messed up and soon they are working this guy over with chains and pool sticks. It was ugly. Anyway, that is what us oldtimers are referring to when we talk about Altamont.

Early contender for POTY.

[leagleaze]

Manners are one thing, assuming men should do this stuff for women but not women for men is downright patronizing. Get me somewhere safely? Oh bull fucking shit. Do I look like a delicate flower prone to swooning? I didn't think so. Heck, in my world I know more men who are likely to swoon than I do women. The only place I want a woman swooning, thank you very much, is in my bed.

You are in the front of the elevator? Get the fuck out. Waiting to get on? Stay back until I get off. You reach the stairs first? Walk on up. You reach the door first, open it for me or walk through and hold it open long enough for me to grab it, I'll do the same for you. But don't block people who want to come in or out by standing there for the slowest woman in the world, holding it like some moron who believes "good" manners will get him laid. Get out of the way cause your manners, they suck.

You are sitting down and we have plans to meet, get off your ass to say hello, I'll do the same for you. If I get up for any reason other than to leave, leave your ass in your seat where it belongs. If I am leaving, stand up and say goodbye. Again, I'll do the same for you.

Sometimes If I am on a date I hold doors open, I open the car door and seat the woman. I go around the car, open the door and offer my hand to assist her out. I walk her to her door to say goodnight.

Doing these things is a way of showing my affection. I appreciate it when she does the same for me. And yes, on such occasions I normally get laid, but you know what, I was gonna get laid anyway.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Wow. Et tu, dtb?

Dude -- I specifically carved out the possibility that I was responding to you!!!

Originally posted by Not Bob
Seriously, my angst (about this issue, anyway) is not at a handwringing level. Elevator conversations, however, can inspire angst of the handwringing variety in moi. You would think that lawyers should know better than to talk about confidential stuff on a crowded elevator, but no. And I really don't care to hear about how bad the weather was in St. Somewhere when I haven't been out of town in weeks. And there is something very unseemly about two women bashing all males as being pond scum when there is a male on the elevator. (Though when I turned around and said "oh come on, we're all not that bad," they at least had the courtesy to be amused and apologetic.)

Amen, brother. The colleague I spoke of earlier (the one who advised that everyone check for his/her wallet) recently had an inappropriate-forum meltdown on the elevator last week. Uncool.

My surprise at the angst-producing nature of elevator experiences is limited to the logistics of embarking and disembarking.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm suing someone. Its fucking unfair that I have to ordermy pants through the catalog while my fat friends are rewarded for their sloth by being given an entire wall of huge fatassed pants to choose from. Its discriminatory.

The assless aren't a protected class. Work on your glutes or shut the hell up.

TM

[dtb]

I'm not even playing (because I couldn't think of anyone -- and then when I saw everyone's entries, I couldn't believe I didn't come up with a few...), but here would have been a nice wild card pick:

Guy Who played the Painter on Murphy Brown dies

(My guess is that no one picked him -- some people say I'm psychic** that way...)




**Before you even THINK it, Shape Shifter, I have listened closely!

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
The assless aren't a protected class. Work on your glutes or shut the hell up.

TM

I've tried. Its no use. I'm thinking implants.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by dtb
I'm not even playing (because I couldn't think of anyone -- and then when I saw everyone's entries, I couldn't believe I didn't come up with a few...), but here would have been a nice wild card pick:

Guy Who played the Painter on Murphy Brown dies

(My guess is that no one picked him -- some people say I'm psychic** that way...)




**Before you even THINK it, Shape Shifter, I have listened closely!

Fuck. That sucks. I'd actually met him a couple of times when I lived in LA, and found him really funny and charming.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by andViolins
At least one source disagrees on proper revolving door etiquette.

http://magazines.ivillage.com/goodho...Cap=1undefined

aV

Everyone writing etiquette advice under the name "Post" in the last 30 years has been a horrific and complete ignoramus. Basically, if the advisor is still breathing and has the name "Post," read it and do the exact opposite. I can't tell you how much I lauged at the copy of "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette" someone gave me when I got engaged, until I realized in horror that there were probably a large number of people who never had any knowledge of or interest in etiquette at all until they got engaged and sought out a justification for forcing their father to sit and dance with their 20-years-ex-and-estranged mother and leave the bimbo he married at home - and this was the sort of "knowledge" they might stumble upon, packaged under a once semi-respectable name.

Letitia Baldridge would disagree, too, but for excellent reason - she writes primarily about business manners, and in a business context the "host" (i.e.: the protector, i.e.: the equivalent of the "man" under the social rules) usually goes first because then he can be waiting to direct or entertain the guests when they emerge from the door on the other side, rather than leaving them standing there alone feeling stupid (though I think even she thinks the host goes last if there is only one guest). Social manners usually don't travel intact to business environments, if they travel at all. My source on the social practice is the unimpeachable Judith Martin, who deals with social context somewhat more than with business (and is particularly superb for marking the distinctions between social and business manners, and insisting that each be practiced only in its appropriate sphere, so you don't get male bosses patronizing women employees by telling them how pretty they look and up-and-coming executives passing out business cards at funerals).

Incidentally, it is really just as easy to get the revolving door going from behind someone -

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I've tried. Its no use. I'm thinking implants.

Try this exercise:

5 NEW PLACES TO EXERCISE

On the Washer
Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in your home. Problem is, most people don't use it right. You should be the one with your butt on the lid. The motion will be transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator. Run a warm-water load so the top won't be cold.

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/articl...-1-1-2,00.html

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Wow. Et tu, dtb?

Originally posted by dtb
Dude -- I specifically carved out the possibility that I was responding to you!!!

I know -- I just like saying "et tu, ____?" in March. It's the whole St. Patrick's Day thing.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Oh bull fucking shit. ... some moron who believes "good" manners will get him laid. ... And yes, on such occasions I normally get laid, but you know what, I was gonna get laid anyway.

Ok, you reminded me of an unrelated story.

I had this male friend (ex, actually) in college who decided I needed to get laid (by someone else). So I mention my friend Charlie is coming into town to visit, and this guy starts going on about how I should rent 9 1/2 weeks and I will definitely get laid. I told him "umm... I really don't think so. You haven't met Charlie." And he said "oh, it doesn't matter, you will definitely get laid" blah blah blah, all this macho BS stuff to demonstrate that he knows ALL about getting laid. So I invite him along to dinner with Charlie his first night in town.

Needless to say, Charlie is a 6 foot 2, 350 pound flaming kimono wearing opera queen. There is no magnifier of the adjective "flamboyant" to adequately encompass Charlie's complete, queeny flamboyance. He makes QE4TSG's Carson seem about as gay as Gregory Peck in the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. So Charlie comes dashing in the front door of the restaurant, sees me, shrieks like a 13 y.o. girl and runs up to grab me squealing "ooh, Baddie, you look divine!! New shoes!!!" and bouncing up and down, all 350 pounds of him, with his silk scarf flapping out behind him.

The expression on the ex's face was one of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen in my life. Thank you for reminding me of it.