Missing the Paigow (et al.) [sniff]

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I have hated people so much that I have had disturbing murderous fantasies about them, but nobody has ever done anything that has ever caused me to want to defecate on them or their possessions.

Oh my, I could never defecate on anyone (unless it were for an obscene amount of money... say, $500). I'd probably get stagefright and wind up with a submarine jarred in mid release... like a busted soft serve machine. Truly embarrassing. Not where one wants to find himself in the age of digital photography (although I guess I could be wearing a mask...).

That said, you've highlighted the difference between you and me. I'm a doer. You're a dreamer. For years you've written your murderous fantasies, but you don't act. You haven't the nads for a murder. I at least have the satisfaction that can only come from wincing while holding one's drawers about his ankles, staring out of the 41st floor conference window at Ben Franklin's visage, loosing a toxic cobra onto fine Japanese Oak.

You'll dream of decapitating nebbishes who will live on for what seems forever, to haunt and harrass your frustrated angry ex-hipster self through the long days of the tortured toil you call your life. I'll smile smugly, knowing neither Minwax, Ajax nor Clorox will ever undo the damge I've wrought.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by LessinSF
Let me add that I just had a most-awkward conversation about whether I should attend the PLRB conference in April or the DRI conference in May. I am not giving notice until the end of the month and had to fudge that one.

Sign up for both. What the fuck do you care?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
How long had the chefs trained? What rice vinegar did they use? What you most likely had were inexpertly cut pieces of flash frozen and then re-thawed fish hastily slapped onto some gummy rice rolls with powdered "wasabi" slathered liberally under the the fish slabs in an attempt to cover any imperfections. I am quite certain that what you did NOT have was sushi.

Sounds to me like someone has been taking classes! When do you graduate?

[Alex_de_Large]

Five games.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Sign up for both. What the fuck do you care?

A few months before I quit my last job we had to register for a conference at the Grand Hotel. I signed up, but registered at the Hotel under my own card. I quit and my bitch CEO called and cancelled my reservation- wasn't the worst of it but was pretty low, I had told her I had reserved the room on my own when I quit.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
A few months before I quit my last job we had to register for a conference at the Grand Hotel. I signed up, but registered at the Hotel under my own card. I quit and my bitch CEO called and cancelled my reservation- wasn't the worst of it but was pretty low, I had told her I had reserved the room on my own when I quit.

Where's that referral you promised me? I've been sober for three days.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Where's that referral you promised me? I've been sober for three days.

that was a test. you're now on my firm's approved list and will be called next Philly file. Congrats!

[cheval de frise]

Originally posted by Gattigap
You could also toss Hunter S. Thompson out there as an open nomination, and watch Sebby and Less murder each other in order to get it.

The loser can have "Tickle Me Elmo."

CDF (upping the stakes)

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh my, I could never defecate on anyone (unless it were for an obscene amount of money... say, $500). I'd probably get stagefright and wind up with a submarine jarred in mid release... like a busted soft serve machine. Truly embarrassing. Not where one wants to find himself in the age of digital photography (although I guess I could be wearing a mask...).

That said, you've highlighted the difference between you and me. I'm a doer. You're a dreamer. For years you've written your murderous fantasies, but you don't act. You haven't the nads for a murder. I at least have the satisfaction that can only come from wincing while holding one's drawers about his ankles, staring out of the 41st floor conference window at Ben Franklin's visage, loosing a toxic cobra onto fine Japanese Oak.

You'll dream of decapitating nebbishes who will live on for what seems forever, to haunt and harrass your frustrated angry ex-hipster self through the long days of the tortured toil you call your life. I'll smile smugly, knowing neither Minwax, Ajax nor Clorox will ever undo the damge I've wrought.

You are correct that I have highlighted a difference between us, and intentionally so. It is not the difference between the passive and the active, however. It is the difference between the fecal-obsessed and the . . . well, the non-fecal-obsessed. It is a baby step between fantasies of Cleveland Steamers and smearing your shit on the walls of bathroom stalls. You'll forgive me if, when we meet, I decline to shake your hand?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh my, I could never defecate on anyone (unless it were for an obscene amount of money... say, $500). I'd probably get stagefright and wind up with a submarine jarred in mid release... like a busted soft serve machine. Truly embarrassing. Not where one wants to find himself in the age of digital photography (although I guess I could be wearing a mask...).

That said, you've highlighted the difference between you and me. I'm a doer. You're a dreamer. For years you've written your murderous fantasies, but you don't act. You haven't the nads for a murder. I at least have the satisfaction that can only come from wincing while holding one's drawers about his ankles, staring out of the 41st floor conference window at Ben Franklin's visage, loosing a toxic cobra onto fine Japanese Oak.

You'll dream of decapitating nebbishes who will live on for what seems forever, to haunt and harrass your frustrated angry ex-hipster self through the long days of the tortured toil you call your life. I'll smile smugly, knowing neither Minwax, Ajax nor Clorox will ever undo the damge I've wrought.

if you had eaten asparagus does the table smell worse?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
You are correct that I have highlighted a difference between us, and intentionally so. It is not the difference between the passive and the active, however. It is the difference between the fecal-obsessed and the . . . well, the non-fecal-obsessed. It is a baby step between fantasies of Cleveland Steamers and smearing your shit on the walls of bathroom stalls. You'll forgive me if, when we meet, I decline to shake your hand?

I don't care for this slippery slope set-up one bit. I am not kissing you hello.




On the lips.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't care for this slipper slope set-up one bit. I am not kissing you hello.




On the lips.

you're the one who licks butts right? I bet his is real clean. Like washed obsessively.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
if you had eaten asparagus does the table smell worse?

Jesus, Hank, its not even 5 pm your time and you're already confusing piss and shit.

Damnit... and you've the nerve to put me through delerium tremens to get the junk your old lady couldn't pawn off on Underphephler and Clapwright.*

I may not be one of your blessed "proctors," but I have do have my dignity. You and your wench can shove that portfolio of slip and fall turds up your hypocritical asses. And you tell her I said that.

* Proctors in Admiralty; People's Choice, 1988; Best in Show, Amsterdam Negligence Symposium, 1973++

++ Disputed

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
you're the one who licks butts right? I bet his is real clean. Like washed obsessively.

Everclear?

[SlaveNoMore]

sebastian_dangerfield
"Damnit... "

Can we get a ruling on this?