Fashion Board 3-5-04 to 4-6-04

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Unless you're bald, get rid of the goatee. You look like an idiot.

And, it you're bald, get rid of the goatee. Having hair on your chin doesn't change the fact that you have no hair on your head. Just learn to live with it.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Why don't you just go to a real tanning booth? Seems to be a lot of work to get yourself painted, when you could just go get fake baked under some UV lights.

Are you familiar with melanoma?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Are you familiar with melanoma?

And for the vain, the fact that you look like a big carrot if you abuse the bed?

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

In general, I love you.

Criticisms: ...

... It looks indecisive.

I may or may not agree with your specific examples of indecisiveness, but this is a beautifully concise description of a plague-like problem. I am stealing this phrase.

Lose the baggy shirts. Buy a fitted shirt, and if you don't look good in fatted shirts because you have man boobs or a huge gut, go to the gym.

Even if you couldn't wear a fitted shirt before, you probably can now, because regular shirts are now cut with enough fabric to propel the USS Constitution due to the fact that Americans are not just pudgy anymore but complete lardasses.

... Have your wife/gf/sister/female friend pick your ties. You don't know what looks good.

I am strangely clueless about ties. I am entirely dependent on crib sheets torn from mens mags to put together non-boring (or indecisive) shirt-tie combinations. I do try, though, and I usually do better than the pimp-wear put together by most of the Mens Wearhouse guys.

Buy pants that are not khaki (light or dark khaki doesn't count; iff they have the word "khaki" in their name, they're khaki)

Please add olive drab to this list. Incidentally, the first man with the balls to show up in my office wearing tomato red trousers will be kissed by yours truly (just ask the guy who, bless him, wore a kilt).

Throw out your penny loafers, Alex keaton.

It is true that some people can make penny loafers cool. However, you are not one of them.

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Are you familiar with melanoma?

And wrinkles and age spots?

Not that I think pouring brown chemicals all over one's body is a terribly smart idea. Plus, I dont find tans to be attractive anymore for some reason. Unless you are on a beach playing volleyball, they just look kinda seventies lounge lizard and people are better with their normal skin color. in a city environment. not fishy white, but alabaster.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
And for the vain, the fact that you look like a big carrot if you abuse the bed?

I take it you sunbathe naked.

But fringey might disagree with the big part of big carrot.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Are you familiar with melanoma?

Plus, tanning beds are just plain creepy. I'd rather get an MRI.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
No fake tan lines?

A gentleman of my acquaintance once told me that tan lines are exceedingly sexy, much sexier than no-tan-lines that imply that you sunbathed nekkid. His reasoning - if you see the tan line, you are seeing a part of the woman's skin than is almost never, ever seen by anyone, which is titilating, even if it is just a shoulder-strap line (i.e.: it is like the "no makeup on back of neck" thing that geisha's do).

Query for the guys: is this true? Are tan lines sexy? Or are they non-sexy in that "why the hell didn't you move your straps?" way?

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Plus, tanning beds are just plain creepy. I'd rather get an MRI.

THis is a nice segueway for our weekly discussion of fatties. Did you know that some fatties are too large to fit in an MRI and they have to go to the Zoo MRI?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I take it you sunbathe naked.

But fringey might disagree with the big part of big carrot.

I don't even want to think about getting my carrot sunburned.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Plus, tanning beds are just plain creepy. I'd rather get an MRI.

Ugh. No way. MRIs are creepier. Especially when you're really really drunk. Then they're downright scary.

[Atticus Grinch]

I've stopped getting spam that includes those random dictionary words to fool the spam filters. Now, instead, I'm getting spam that starts off with buh-zarre quotations from literary works (presumably serving the same function).

Today's deep thought is brought to you by the Code of Hammurabi and the good people at V:Agr@.XAn@x.-V-alium.V1'codin:

• "If any one break a hole into a house (break in to steal), he shall be put to death before that hole and be buried."

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?



They're real right?

I have decided that "are those real?" is merely a philosophical question, and I'm not much of a philosopher.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
A gentleman of my acquaintance once told me that tan lines are exceedingly sexy, much sexier than no-tan-lines that imply that you sunbathed nekkid. His reasoning - if you see the tan line, you are seeing a part of the woman's skin than is almost never, ever seen by anyone, which is titilating, even if it is just a shoulder-strap line (i.e.: it is like the "no makeup on back of neck" thing that geisha's do).

Query for the guys: is this true? Are tan lines sexy? Or are they non-sexy in that "why the hell didn't you move your straps?" way?

Both tan lines and no tan lines can be sexy. Your friend's reasoning is correct. You're getting a glimpse of what's normally covered. On the other hand, NOT having tan lines makes a guy immediately picture the girl nekkid, which is inherently sexy. Plus, no tan lines suggests that the girl is adventurous (i.e., possibly slutty). A short-term positive.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
link didnt work but it was a frightening study of the work Lara Flynn Boyle has had done.

and apparently Demi Moore and Tori Spelling (!) both have had face lifts.

I'm hoping they lifted Tori's off entirely and found her a better one.