Fashion Board 3-5-04 to 4-6-04

Having looked at this photo a bunch of times, I have decided that Nick Lachey may turn out to be a game show host in about twenty years. A Wink Martindale for the MTV generation (which will also be in its forties in twenty years). Someone should put a stack of cards with questions and answers in that hand.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Query for the guys: is this true? Are tan lines sexy? Or are they non-sexy in that "why the hell didn't you move your straps?" way?

Tan lines = sexy.
Looking for tan lines and conclusively determining that there are none = sexy.

I'm flexible, I guess. I also think blonde is sexy and brunette is sexy. Black hair is also sexy, especially dark, dark black hair contrasted with light skin (so-called "Black Irish" women send chills down my spine).

Red hair would be sexy, were it not evidence that the hair-bearer is psycho.

Big, firm tits are sexy. Small tits are sexy. Perfect sized tits -- just a little too big to fit in your (my) hand are extra-sexy.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
A gentleman of my acquaintance once told me that tan lines are exceedingly sexy, much sexier than no-tan-lines that imply that you sunbathed nekkid. His reasoning - if you see the tan line, you are seeing a part of the woman's skin than is almost never, ever seen by anyone, which is titilating, even if it is just a shoulder-strap line (i.e.: it is like the "no makeup on back of neck" thing that geisha's do).

Query for the guys: is this true? Are tan lines sexy? Or are they non-sexy in that "why the hell didn't you move your straps?" way?

Tan lines are fine; no tan lines is just as fine. When you're taking off a woman's clothing, chances are you ain't thinking about tan lines. It certainly ain't a dealbreaker...

Either way, whatever's "hidden" isn't anything new or novel. Why you can't just swim naked I'll never understand. In my over three decades, I've seen many naked people, and they tend to look one of two ways. I tend to think my experience is pretty common.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch

Big, firm tits are sexy. Small tits are sexy. Perfect sized tits -- just a little too big to fit in your (my) hand are extra-sexy.

A lot's dependent on the nipple. A great tit with a terrible nipple is a shame. So much promise...

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
Don't be so negative. Maybe it's like the Class A of haberdashery, and now he's worked his way up to Nordstroms or Wilkes-Bashford or something nicer.

This happens. I had a good friend in high school who has never been very motivated in the sense of getting off his butt and going to college or something, but is very dedicated to whatever he happens to be doing at the moment, and is very smart as well. Thus, 2 years out of high school he was working 80 hour weeks managing the largest Gap in Texas, having started as a part time stocker. When I ran into him a couple of years ago, he was the chief personal buyer at a big Neiman Marcus and was pulling in $100k a year buying crap (but very nice crap) for women too rich to have time to buy their own crap. He's one of those people who can walk through a series of racks in a store, pick up one suit, one shirt and one tie, and you know that there is no better combination available in the store.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by baltassoc
This happens. I had a good friend in high school who has never been very motivated in the sense of getting off his butt and going to college or something, but is very dedicated to whatever he happens to be doing at the moment, and is very smart as well. Thus, 2 years out of high school he was working 80 hour weeks managing the largest Gap in Texas, having started as a part time stocker. When I ran into him a couple of years ago, he was the chief personal buyer at a big Neiman Marcus and was pulling in $100k a year buying crap (but very nice crap) for women too rich to have time to buy their own crap. He's one of those people who can walk through a series of racks in a store, pick up one suit, one shirt and one tie, and you know that there is no better combination available in the store.

Carson Kressley?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
A gentleman of my acquaintance once told me that tan lines are exceedingly sexy, much sexier than no-tan-lines that imply that you sunbathed nekkid. His reasoning - if you see the tan line, you are seeing a part of the woman's skin than is almost never, ever seen by anyone, which is titilating, even if it is just a shoulder-strap line (i.e.: it is like the "no makeup on back of neck" thing that geisha's do).

Query for the guys: is this true? Are tan lines sexy? Or are they non-sexy in that "why the hell didn't you move your straps?" way?

Tan lines are very sexy, especially if it's a deep tan.
Jessica Simpson is beautiful, but I can think of a million women I'd rather fuck. I'd bet my house that she's mediocre (at best) in bed. There's nothing smoky or sultry or sexy about her. Unless maybe, MAYBE, if you got her tanked.

[Been There, Done That]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Plus, tanning beds are just plain creepy. I'd rather get an MRI.

That desire can be obliged for the right consideration.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Red hair would be sexy, were it not evidence that the hair-bearer is psycho.

Psycho is sexy.

Though I don't think Atticus agrees with this.

I have shat in your bed the last couple of nights. Send me the dry cleaning bills.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I have shat in your bed the last couple of nights. Send me the dry cleaning bills.

MOM?!?!

[Been There, Done That]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I have shat in your bed the last couple of nights. Send me the dry cleaning bills.

Are you available for out-call work?

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
MOM?!?!

board motto.

And in other news, here is my all time favorite crime, from a newsstroy from yahoo:

Gotti and six co-defendants were convicted last year of trying to extort up to $3 million from action-film star Steven Seagal.

[Sidd Finch]

Any good April Fools to report?

I got hit with one, but it was rife with inside-ness and can't really be shared. Suffice to say, there's an official-looking memo out there that is not good for my career.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Why don't you just go to a real tanning booth?

melanoma. I've had it already - don't want to get it again.