imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash. - Page 276

NotFromHere · 02-10-2005, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
I've heard a lot of euphemisms for it before, but never "testosterone spray."

Yes, it's quite romantic.
Ask your wife "honey, do you want the flashlight or do you want me to give you the 'testosterone spray' for VD?"

Shape Shifter · 02-10-2005, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Saw this last night...

spoilers
If Wendy makes it to the finals, I'll fuck Shape Shifter.*

Woo hoo!

"Watching Project Runway, it finally hit me who Wendy reminds me of. It had been nagging at me, nagging, and then she did something nasty with her mouth and then I realized:

Linda Tripp!

The same righteous bitchery, the same snivelling self-justifications, the same resentment of those younger originally masquerading as solicitude.

And this creature made it to the final three, knocking out Austin in last night's competition to reach the final showdown in Olympus Fashion Week, currently clogging up Bryant Park. "

http://www.jameswolcott.com/

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 02-10-2005, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
OK gang, only 4 more shopping days until Valentine's Day. I am getting taken out to dinner. My husband bought me diamond earrings last year and says that I broke him.
I like the usual things - jewelry, chocolate. I'm not a big fan of the flowers that die in 2 days.

What are you guys getting?

Here's a sad story from one woman...

Q: My husband is the most unromantic man on earth. If he remembers Valentine’s Day at all, he gets me something like a flashlight. How can I make him understand that a household tool is not a suitable gift?

A flashlight. If I got a flashlight for Valentine's Day I can assure you that unless it made a humming noise when turned on, that flashlight would be used to beat a husband.

OK, does a 57" television qualify as a household tool?

Replaced_Texan · 02-10-2005, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
poor diana must be rolling in her grave

Why? The relationship has been going on for decades, Diana and Charles separated years ago, and Diana is dead. There is no reason anyone should be upset over the wedding.

NotFromHere · 02-10-2005, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
OK, does a 57" television qualify as a household tool?

Yes. Usually. Unless she gets control of the remote - then not as much, but still - yes.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 02-10-2005, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Harumph time. Valentine's day restaurant offerings have to be the biggest scam in the business. Limited menu selection, generally with a required selection of courses, generally indifferent service, typically a rush to flip the table, and unaccomodating maitre d'hotels/hostesses. Ugh.

I'll cook myself, thanks, and go out some other time.

I don't know anyone over the age of 24 who goes out to dinner for Valentine's Day. Especially in big cities. There's nothing like having a reservation and still waiting 2 hours to sit down.

Both people should cook and get drunk concurrently.

02-10-2005, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Say_hello_for_me
Thanks for posting this. Reading the application, they have a separate paragraph specifying families, including non-traditional families. However, its doesn't seem entirely clear if its a.) limited to families and, b.) if (a), how families are defined by relationship.

Nevertheless, I already talked to a family member about it. The first thought is that we could do our own interviews within our extended family to see who is best suited to travel with us. The first few questions that came to mind included, can you bench-press 2 Hellos? Can you carry Hello on your back for 1/2 a mile barefoot?

Coming up with 4 family members to do this with, even in a family with more than 50 first cousins and aunts/uncles aged 12 or over, seems like a bit of a challenge.

Hello

Yes, but this seems like such an interesting team. I am sure its worth a shot.

NotFromHere · 02-10-2005, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Why? The relationship has been going on for decades, and why would it be a bad thing if they got married?

Well, for 1, she was the reason for the divorce and most of the problems in the marriage (prince harry's parentage questions notwithstanding). The divorce fostered a relationship with Dodi Fayed. Dodi Fayed's driver was a drunk. Car chase, crash, death.

All connected to horseface.

Replaced_Texan · 02-10-2005, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
OK gang, only 4 more shopping days until Valentine's Day. I am getting taken out to dinner. My husband bought me diamond earrings last year and says that I broke him.
I like the usual things - jewelry, chocolate. I'm not a big fan of the flowers that die in 2 days.

What are you guys getting?

Here's a sad story from one woman...

Q: My husband is the most unromantic man on earth. If he remembers Valentine’s Day at all, he gets me something like a flashlight. How can I make him understand that a household tool is not a suitable gift?

A flashlight. If I got a flashlight for Valentine's Day I can assure you that unless it made a humming noise when turned on, that flashlight would be used to beat a husband.

At least you have a valentine. Be happy with that, give him a blow job of thanks, and move on.

I'm going to go see porn, sans Valentine.

My mom got a front-end loader for a tractor one year.

ABBAKiss · 02-10-2005, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Yes, it's quite romantic.
Ask your wife "honey, do you want the flashlight or do you want me to give you the 'testosterone spray' for VD?"

I like that Valentine's Day shares the same acronym as Venereal Disease.

NotFromHere · 02-10-2005, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Both people should cook and get drunk concurrently.

We do that every other night of the year. That's nothing special.

ABBAKiss · 02-10-2005, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
All connected to horseface.

I am not a Caroline Bessette Kennedy fan but I really don't think it is fair to blame her for Diana's death, and certainly not for the problems in her marriage.

02-10-2005, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Please wish it on the building adjacent to mine so that the lame duck wicked witch (come to think of it, there's two of them, witches) can get what they deserve for inflicting the hugely overbudget and creatively bankrupt world's-worst-remake-and-biggest-waste-of-a-good-cast-ever-that-dare-not-speak-its-name on us all last summer, that cost me and everyone else here any chance of having a decent bonus. Grrrrrr.

Waitaminute, if i cease going to movies, I can cut into your bank account and penalize you for scalping? Word.

Speaking of scalping (not the NFH kind), I was able to land tix to one of the new Crowes shows but not the other thanks to Sebby. Apparenlty you had to pull a PensKe and have like ten windows up to get em both. I dont know how they do it or if that woudl have worked. But clearly, some scalpers knew the password "salvation" and fucked us who put ina good faith effort. So now, I may be forced to spend an extra one hundred and fifty to see the other show Iw ant tosee? I hate these fucking people. And this money goes in their grubby, greasy pockets. There is no service here. I put in the effort and I got screwed.

So I wastalking to my sister about this and she said that U2 Madison Square Garden sold out in four minutes and that the scalpers are charging like 1400 bucks for two shitty seats. Sebby said something similar is going down in Philly and that the Philly DA is looking into this. What legal grounds are we talkign here? Clearly this is some kind of organized crime of some sort, but I dont know much about this. But it screws so many people and puts so much money in the hands of people that didnt earn it that its clealry some kind of robbery. What kind of legal action can be taken?

greatwhitenorthchick · 02-10-2005, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
At least you have a valentine.

ABBA is my valentine this year but I don't think she would object to your being our valentine.

Either that or I could probably set you up with a late-night moonwalker.

NotFromHere · 02-10-2005, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
At least you have a valentine. Be happy with that, give him a blow job of thanks, and move on.

I'm going to go see porn, sans Valentine.

My mom got a front-end loader for a tractor one year.

Actually, VD is one of the better days to meet single guys in bars. There seems to be a recurring theme here. Me in bars. But, you know for a fact that if a guy is in a bar, he's single. Or he better be or he soon will be.

In addition, candy is half price on the 15th.