Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

[Adder]

Originally posted by leagleaze
No no, that could cause some of the stingers to fire!

http://www.susanscott.net/OceanWatch1999/mar22-99.html

A Hawaiian hotel concierge once advised this as treatment when one member of our party (not me) stepped on a sea urchin. The effected party reported that it seemed to work.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
Granted, if everyone was a vegan, we'd probably all be thin, but we'd also be fucking hippies. I'm not willing to make that tradeoff.

Concur. The only really robust-healthy vegans I've met were the superstar Bikram types who ate all their food raw, leading me to the inescapable conclusion that there was definitely something to this raw food thing. People who eat cooked meat and raw vegetables must have the magic combo. However, potatoes are easier to mash when cooked, so raw isn't for me.

On the other hand, my vegan friends tell me their shit literally doesn't stink, which must be nice for them. For my part, I am satisfied merely to assure that my shit and I remain in the same room for the shortest possible time. To each his own, I guess.

ETA: the other reason I will be doing neither vegan nor Atkins is the fact that one of life's simplest pleasures is getting down to the last third of a steak burrito, when all the juices have settled to the bottom, and sucking the broth, vampire-like, up the burrito percolating through the Spanish rice. You know what I'm talking about. If this causes stinky shit and elevated insulin, so be it.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
On the other hand, my vegan friends tell me their shit literally doesn't stink, which must be nice for them. For my part, I am satisfied merely to assure that my shit and I remain in the same room for the shortest possible time. To each his own, I guess.

Thanks for this.
I don't get bothered by my own odors, but if people smell up a restroom I have to use that's another story. There is a certain 3rd year lawyer on my floor I may buy a vegan menu guide for.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
Granted, if everyone was a vegan, we'd probably all be thin, but we'd also be fucking hippies. I'm not willing to make that tradeoff.

Dissent. If we could transform even a small fraction of meat-eating, bad-skinned, uptight, hair-in-a-bun, boring-ass-suburban ladies with double chins and junk in the trunk into free-wheeling, free-loving, nubile spinning hippie chicks with flowing long hair and acid twinkles in their eyes, would not the world be a better place?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Dissent. If we could transform even a small fraction of meat-eating, bad-skinned, uptight, hair-in-a-bun, boring-ass-suburban ladies with double chins and junk in the trunk into free-wheeling, free-loving, nubile spinning hippie chicks with flowing long hair and acid twinkles in their eyes, would not the world be a better place?

You've seen too many 60's movies. Once in a PM Bilmore told me that hippy chicks were mostly fat/unkept/pimply/ratty hair. I mean they didn't have showers alot. But maybe that was just Minn. hippy chicks.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I don't get bothered by my own odors, but if people smell up a restroom I have to use that's another story. There is a certain 3rd year lawyer on my floor I may buy a vegan menu guide for.

A friend used to go one floor down, where another firm had its offices, to take a poo. One day, he was headed downstairs with the sports pages tucked under his arm, when he encountered the name partner of the downstairs firm in the stairwell with the sports pages tucked under his arm, headed upstairs.

In eight years of law firm life, I think I've gone twosies at the office maybe four or five times. Hope I don't wind up with a vegan menu on my chair.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You've seen too many 60's movies. Once in a PM Bilmore told me that hippy chicks were mostly fat/unkept/pimply/ratty hair. I mean they didn't have showers alot. But maybe that was just Minn. hippy chicks.

YOU STOP YOUR CRAZY TALK. I CANNOT HEAR YOU. LALALALALALALALALALALALA
LALALALALALALALALALALALA
LALALALALALALALALALALALA

[Don't worry about a thing, my dear. He doesn't know what he is talking about. I've made us a delightful vegan chili with soy cheese. Not too spicy - just how you like it. When you tire of spinning, you can have some and I will stroke you hair. Shake it, shake it, Sugaree . . . .]

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I still can't imagine why anyone would think that this "diet" is healthy...it may be a decent short-term solution, but sustaining a diet like this may be dangerous. Hello heart disease.

I am personally very acquainted with people who lost thirty-plus pounds in six weeks on this diet, while watching their cholesterol go from 200 to 170. Some of them are even looking to go another twenty pounds after the holidays.

But they may need to take some form of artificial cholesterol, if, as you say, this lowering is an invitation to a heart attack.

(Adding after reading more: ABBA, buy the bars. They take care of the urge for sweets/carbs quite well. If you stick to the under-20-grams rule, you'll be amazed at how fast it goes. I know my friend was.)

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
A friend used to go one floor down, where another firm had its offices, to take a poo. In eight years of law firm life, I think I've gone twosies at the office maybe four or five times. Hope I don't wind up with a vegan menu on my chair.

Poo? Twosies?

I may have to get you your very own copy of Everybody Poops and send on a Wiggles road trip.

For God's sake, man, you're in your 30's!!!

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You've seen too many 60's movies. Once in a PM Bilmore told me that hippy chicks were mostly fat/unkept/pimply/ratty hair. I mean they didn't have showers alot. But maybe that was just Minn. hippy chicks.

Oh, I thought we were talking about . . . you know . . . big-hipped chicks. Hippy chicks.

(Now you know why I was so confused that you were speaking of the sixties as the age of the fatties.)

[Atticus Grinch]

When buying on the Internet, if you ever see a coupon code box on a shopping cart/checkout page, open a new browser page and do a quick Google search for "company name coupon code." You'd be surprised how many discounts and coupons are publicly posted off-site.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Sorry. Not a head of lettuce. A watermelon, apparently. I learned this by reviewing the link for the photo -- http://www.phallic.org/watermelon.gif [please don't look unless you want to see two guys fucking a watermelon]

I'm going to think twice about having some of the injected watermelon at the next 4th of July picnic.

[Skeks in the city]

Somebody said Paul Rudd's agent was shtoopid for putting Rudd in Friends because Rudd is fatter and uglier than the cast. Somebody else responded that Rudd put on a lot of weight for "The Shape of Things" and he looked better now that he'd lost it. I don't know whether he has or not, but I do know that at the end of "The Shape of Things" Rudd can hold his own with the cast of friends.

Too wit:

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch

In eight years of law firm life, I think I've gone twosies at the office maybe four or five times. Hope I don't wind up with a vegan menu on my chair.

Sorry to hear your firm won't spring for flushable, paper toilet seat covers. Tell them you could bill more hours if you had effective sanitary protection to keep away from wetness and germs left by others. You wouldn't need to take time from billing to leave the building or wrap the seat with toilet paper. He's a link to a site where you can purchase this technological wonder.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
In eight years of law firm life, I think I've gone twosies at the office maybe four or five times. Hope I don't wind up with a vegan menu on my chair.

Geez, what do you do, dump in your pants? Wear Depends? Use a cork?

Talk about anal freaks, this takes the cake.