General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Pancreatic cancer fucking sucks.

Indeed it does.

Always hits the people who deserve it least.

My wife's old boss -- number one nicest guy in the planet -- got hit with it a few years ago. Tragedy beyond all tragedies.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by 1436

No doubt.

My niece is on ritilan and is a poster child for how well that drug can work. I could go on and on about how it has made her life immeasurably better, but will spare you.

But, when she had a string of bad grades and not turning things in the parents took her to the doctor to get her dose adjusted and also talked to her about the importance of getting everything done at school. For various reasons the new dose was not going to start for another week.

Between going to the doctor and starting the new dose there was such an improvement the teacher called to tell Mom that whatever happened she has really turned around. Mom was actually mad and assumed that teacher was just treating her differently. It took a bit of explaining to convince Mom that her child may not have needed a med adjustment, just a sit down to go over what was happening. Like what we used to call parenting.

It is a tough balance.

It is only made harder by the fact that you love the brats so much and would literally do anything to help them. The rub is in figuring out what actually helps.

Show me one shred of evidence that Ritalin generally works. Show me some epidemiology. All you will ever here is a little anecdote here or there which mentions that Ritalin, when coupled with behavior modification, helps. And I am not talking about a good day here or there or manageability, I am talking academic success.

Plus there are significant side effects that are known and some that are suspected -- cardiac events, cancer, that make me say:
Fuck
That
Shit

remember: Michael Phelps = no meds.

[Penske_Account]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

i'd invite the socks i don't like to a bar and bomb vest them. but you I'd have a drink with elsewhere before

FYI, I think he stood me up once.....

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Didn't mean to cause a panic. I promise that if I get a diagnosis I'll break it to the board in a more profound and touching way.

A friend died last night. He leaves behind a wife and three kids, the youngest aged four.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Paisley]

Originally Posted by taxwonk

I'm sorry for your loss.

Me too. Very.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Paisley

Me too. Very.

Thanks.

On a new topic, Eldest Grinch, aged seven, is best friends with a boy in our neighborhood. Same school, same soccer team, same carpool -- the works. Friend's mom just dropped the bombshell that they're thinking of moving to Colorado. Neither boy knows this is a possibility yet. Both will likely be devastated.

Anyone have advice on how to contextualize the news that your best friend in the world is moving away? Should I make unrealistic promises, like "you two can keep up by e-mail" when I know that won't happen, or, if it does, the relationship will turn lopsided?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Thanks.

On a new topic, Eldest Grinch, aged seven, is best friends with a boy in our neighborhood. Same school, same soccer team, same carpool -- the works. Friend's mom just dropped the bombshell that they're thinking of moving to Colorado. Neither boy knows this is a possibility yet. Both will likely be devastated.

Anyone have advice on how to contextualize the news that your best friend in the world is moving away? Should I make unrealistic promises, like "you two can keep up by e-mail" when I know that won't happen, or, if it does, the relationship will turn lopsided?

the email lie is fine. they will email for a month or so. then he'll move on.

will your son play more on the soccer team with his friend gone? when I moved from tcotu to Detroit, Thurgreed's mom cushioned the blow for him by suggesting that he might make the basketball team after I'd left.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

the email lie is fine. they will email for a month or so. then he'll move on.

will your son play more on the soccer team with his friend gone? when I moved from tcotu to Detroit, Thurgreed's mom cushioned the blow for him by suggesting that he might make the basketball team after I'd left.

Email is so 2005.

Facebook.

[Penske_Account]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Email is so 2005.

Facebook.

I was all about Facebook and Twitter in the 0h-eight, but in 0h-nine, I roll solely on Plurk. See y'all there in a few years.......

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Thanks.

On a new topic, Eldest Grinch, aged seven, is best friends with a boy in our neighborhood. Same school, same soccer team, same carpool -- the works. Friend's mom just dropped the bombshell that they're thinking of moving to Colorado. Neither boy knows this is a possibility yet. Both will likely be devastated.

Anyone have advice on how to contextualize the news that your best friend in the world is moving away? Should I make unrealistic promises, like "you two can keep up by e-mail" when I know that won't happen, or, if it does, the relationship will turn lopsided?

Yes. As the kid who moved away, I can tell you that that is a good idea. Plus, the little guys might surprise you and actually keep in touch -- especially if the friend has family in your neck of the woods that he will visit every year or so.

It sucks, though. No two ways around it. Tell the little Grinch that I feel his pain.

And I feel your pain re your friend -- sorry for your loss.

[robustpuppy]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Didn't mean to cause a panic. I promise that if I get a diagnosis I'll break it to the board in a more profound and touching way.

A friend died last night. He leaves behind a wife and three kids, the youngest aged four.

You have my sympathies.

Hemorrhagic strokes, suck, too. Friend's husband; 48-year-old man with a wife and 3-year-old daughter.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by robustpuppy

You have my sympathies.

Hemorrhagic strokes, suck, too. Friend's husband; 48-year-old man with a wife and 3-year-old daughter.

So does non-symptomatic death in the middle of the night. And brain aneurisms in 28-year olds. And other death. Maybe we can all live forever. More and more people on the planet, never dying, forever consuming happily ever after.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

So does non-symptomatic death in the middle of the night. And brain aneurisms in 28-year olds. And other death. Maybe we can all live forever. More and more people on the planet, never dying, forever consuming happily ever after.

Even Ayn Rand would consider it a pity that a wife is suddenly raising three kids by herself, no?

[Secret_Agent_Man]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

Absent a request for input, I would smack either of my brothers who felt it was within their rights to interfere.

My brothers would assume that I'd done my homework, weighted all alternatives, and made an informed and loving decision.

Why should Atticus assume otherwise, or that he somehow knows better?

(A) Atticus knows his sister and the niece.

(B) Asking simple questions along the lines Hank proposed would be pretty innocuous and to be expected of any concerned relative of the child.

(C) You are no doubt far too good a parent to put an ordinary, smart, successful teen girl [unless there is a lot going on that Atticus doesn't know about, which he'll find out by asking questions under (B)] on Xanax while noting that a bunch of her friends are already taking it and gosh its great for their mood so it'll help Suzie -- so this whole discussion could never apply to you.

(D) While this is not an extreme case -- a strict policy that no outsiders can or should ever question parental decison-making is a pretty bad idea -- socially, morally, and legally. Of course, if anyone acting without the power of the law behind them wants any intervention to be effective, they have to be pretty delicate in their approach.

S_A_M

[viet_mom]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Isn't your kid, like 2?

No. She's 6. Confident, sweet and well-behaved kid but can't seem to concentrate enough in order to learn letters, phonics, etc. Growth issues another reason why I don't want to try meds (they decrease appetite) besides fear of messing with her chemistry b/c she's so happy and secure.