Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
A paragraph that has no period or semicolon (except for, presumably, the period at the end) is also known as a sentence. A paragraph that runs over a page long with no period or semicolon is generally known as a run-on sentence. Unless there are really big margins on the page.

- Paigow Little Flower

Atticus of the day.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
[Bilmore please skip!]

from (you guessed it) realityblurred:

The Tour was to "follow [Andy] Roddick's bouncing tennis ball as the 21-year-old, top-ranked ace travels the globe next May to September," E! reported last year, but Andy's girlfriend Mandy Moore says his balls are bouncing nowhere. "It was supposed to be like a documentary or something at first, and then someone kind of took that and ran with it and it kind of snowballed I guess out of context," she tells the AP, which reports the show "will never happen." (Tough week for Andy; he also just lost his #1 ranking.) Lest you think Mandy's has a big hate-on for reality TV, she says, "I love watching reality shows, but I would never want to be in or on a reality show." She's so adamant about that, she'd dump Andy or anyone else on their ass if cameras showed up to follow him around; as the AP puts it, "She said if someone close to her were in such a show, she wouldn't stick around long enough to be in it."

what an obstreperous twat. this is a full frontal assualt to Andy's coltraneness. "its the show or me, andy!" "uh, the show, future spinster, thanks for playing". thatwould have been great for tennis.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Stop being such a fucking bitch you meanie.

You made Hank cry.


That is all.

Man-pleaser. I think you need a vibrator-vibrator combo, no boring immobile dildo for you. Come back after the multiple O and rethink your manpleasing ways.

Hankie, I had not previously made the connection between the feathered headdress and the feathered angel wings. If you could please leave NFH in the mask and handcuffs pretty much permanently after your next incestuous "session" that would be fabulous for the rest of us.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Man-pleaser. I think you need a vibrator-vibrator combo, no boring immobile dildo for you. Come back after the multiple O and rethink your manpleasing ways.

Hankie, I had not previously made the connection between the feathered headdress and the feathered angel wings. If you could please leave NFH in the mask and handcuffs pretty much permanently after your next incestuous "session" that would be fabulous for the rest of us.

You are just jealous that I can please a man simply by recounting experiences of my friends, while you, you can't please a man period.

So you take your dildo, put it up your ass, and smoke it.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by leagleaze
. . . .I can please a man simply by recounting experiences of my friends . . .

True dat!

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by leagleaze
You are just jealous that I can please a man simply by recounting experiences of my friends, while you, you can't please a man period.

So you take your dildo, put it up your ass, and smoke it.

I had no idea you lusted after NFH so much that you would insult me, ME, just to get into her pants. Or are you offended on behalf of your love-ah, pc? You could have warned me she was under your protection before I went and bitched at her about the kitten picture. Sheesh.

Interesting to know that your imagination has been so captured by the Monica and Bill with a cigar vignette. I had not thought about either of them smoking the cigar when they were done . . . Alas, I have no cigars and, in fact, I don't think I have any non-vibrating toys. Bring some nice fat cigars on down and we can smoke them together, I promise. Just don't bring your love-ah. I will be too jealous.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by leagleaze
You are just jealous that I can please a man simply by recounting experiences of my friends, while you, you can't please a man period.

So you take your dildo, put it up your ass, and smoke it.

Wow. I'm in awe. A terse, vulgar, stinging, self-aggrandizing flame from our gentle leagleaze! And it's not even Friday.

What a wonderful world.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by leagleaze
You are just jealous that I can please a man simply by recounting experiences of my friends...

Or by selling tickets. But hey, we'll take what we can get...

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
One of the most surreal nights ... [Waco clown story]

Did you write for Twin Peaks?

TM

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Did you write for Twin Peaks?

TM

Funny you mention that. We saw Wild at Heart the night before the clown show. I think that contributed to the overall creepiness.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by leagleaze
You feel I need to enhance my reputation on the FB? For what? Being stodgy and refusing to give any exact details on my sex life despite begging to the contrary?

Ok, lets see. Sometimes, lesbians, when they have sex, they use toys ok? And there are, in fact, lesbians who enjoy having anal sex (strange but true I know.) A dear friend of mine, who is, not surprisingly, a lesbian, decided to tell me recently about an experience she had that was new to her and I will, for your sick little minds, retell it here.

Leagl, she said to me, I had the most amazing sex last night with so and so (so and so being someone I know as well who has a reputation for bedding most everything that is female and moves.) Leagl, she said to me, I must have had 5 or 6 orgasms in the space of a few minutes, it was amazing. My curiosity peaked I inquired as to the technique that caused this result. (This is of course not a quote but a summary. There were many hand gestures involved, alas I cannot possibly reconstruct those here.)

Well, rather breathlessly, she said, we were in bed, and I had gone down on her and we were just sort of laying there catching our breath when she asked me if I was interested in trying something different. Of course, knowing her reputation for being amazing in bed, I was willing to try almost anything she could think of, so I said sure. She got up (Leagl you think her ass looks good in jeans? I have to tell you, naked - even better) and went to one of her drawers and pulled out two items. One it turned out, was a vibrator, the other was a dildo. She greased them both up, put one in my pussy (the vibrator) and the other one in my ass (the dildo.) She then proceeded to, at varying speeds, fuck me with both of them. OH MY GOD, it was amazing. You should try it. Really. No. Stop laughing at me Leagl. You are such a fucking bitch.

So there you go. Sebbie asked if we knew someone, I said I did, because, in fact, I did. Though I don't know if it counts as old school.

Embellish, please.

[NotFromHere]

Someone steals statue of Yoda. At 170 lbs, it weighs more than the real thing.

PASADENA, Calif. — Someone lifted a 170-pound bronze statue of Yoda, the "Star Wars" Jedi master.

The theft from a flatbed truck was reported to police last weekend and artist Lawrence Noble, 55, of Crestline has offered a $1,000 reward for its return. The limited-edition bronze is worth up to $20,000.

So if you see Yoda, call the authorities.

yoda

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by baltassoc
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!! LALALALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Even if it weren't in Waco this would be about the creepiest thing ever. I'm going to have nightmares for days.

Why?

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Dear Cougar:

You are not an unattractive woman. And you appear to have the means to purchase expensive clothing and accessories. What I urge you to do is to exhibit some retraint. I understand that you have some insecurities, and that you are dealing with these insecurities by dressing in a manner that makes you think you appear young and perhaps even hip. But, you tend to come off looking a little gaudy in pink Juicy Couture track suits. Personally, I blame your friends. You are all hanging out together at the same bars, shopping at the same stores, and reinforcing what is, to my admittedly untrained eye, a disastrous fashion trend. Flashy is not always the way to go, and sometimes trying to dress young will only emphasize to others that you are not. I am, in general, a fan of outre fashions. Further, I am perhaps not the best person to distinguish for you the difference between chicly avant-garde and eye-poppingly gaudy, having recently purchased a purple velvet blazer. I guess, the best advice I can give to you is to not try so hard, because it just makes you look like you are trying so hard, and that is never an attractive thing.

Your friend,

Flower

Hard to improve upon advice extraordiaire, I would only note that there is an aphorism for the above-bolded language. The unfortunate part is that I can't remember it exactly, but I'm sure Atticus or someone will know the exact wording (and etymology -- but please, Atticus (or proxy thereof), restrain yourself).

It's something like "Mutton trying to be lamb."

Anyone? Bueller?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
who is wanker? it can't be me and TM. we're both 6'11" which would mean a decent chance of us kissing if this ever happened.

No fears. RP's a seven footer.

TM