Fashion Board 3-5-04 to 4-6-04 - Page 28

bilmore · 03-09-2004, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Needless to say, Charlie is a 6 foot 2, 350 pound flaming kimono wearing opera queen. There is no magnifier of the adjective "flamboyant" to adequately encompass Charlie's complete, queeny flamboyance. He makes QE4TSG's Carson seem about as gay as Gregory Peck in the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. So Charlie comes dashing in the front door of the restaurant, sees me, shrieks like a 13 y.o. girl and runs up to grab me squealing "ooh, Baddie, you look divine!! New shoes!!!" and bouncing up and down, all 350 pounds of him, with his silk scarf flapping out behind him.

Good lord. You have just completely described my old dear uncle.

sebastian_dangerfield · 03-09-2004, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Ok, you reminded me of an unrelated story.

I had this male friend (ex, actually) in college who decided I needed to get laid (by someone else). So I mention my friend Charlie is coming into town to visit, and this guy starts going on about how I should rent 9 1/2 weeks and I will definitely get laid. I told him "umm... I really don't think so. You haven't met Charlie." And he said "oh, it doesn't matter, you will definitely get laid" blah blah blah, all this macho BS stuff to demonstrate that he knows ALL about getting laid. So I invite him along to dinner with Charlie his first night in town.

Needless to say, Charlie is a 6 foot 2, 350 pound flaming kimono wearing opera queen. There is no magnifier of the adjective "flamboyant" to adequately encompass Charlie's complete, queeny flamboyance. He makes QE4TSG's Carson seem about as gay as Gregory Peck in the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. So Charlie comes dashing in the front door of the restaurant, sees me, shrieks like a 13 y.o. girl and runs up to grab me squealing "ooh, Baddie, you look divine!! New shoes!!!" and bouncing up and down, all 350 pounds of him, with his silk scarf flapping out behind him.

The expression on the ex's face was one of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen in my life. Thank you for reminding me of it.

So did you and Charlie have sex?

sebastian_dangerfield · 03-09-2004, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
Good lord. You have just completely described my old dear uncle.

You're related to Divine?

baltassoc · 03-09-2004, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Needless to say, Charlie is a 6 foot 2, 350 pound flaming kimono wearing opera queen.

I think I know Charlie. Nice guy. Smart as hell, too, once you get past the personna.

Bad_Rich_Chic · 03-09-2004, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
So did you and Charlie have sex?

No, but he thought my ex was really cute, in an uptight, closeted sort of way.

bilmore · 03-09-2004, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You're related to Divine?

Divine was gross. Uncle Norman was sweet.

Other than that, though, yeah.

dtb · 03-09-2004, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
I know -- I just like saying "et tu, ____?" in March. It's the whole St. Patrick's Day thing.

OK then, as long as you're just warming up for March 18.

ltl/fb · 03-09-2004, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield So did you and Charlie have sex?

No, but he thought my ex was really cute, in an uptight, closeted sort of way.

For some reason, I picture you as pretty flat-chested, and we know you like to take it up the ass, so what was the problem?

ThurgreedMarshall · 03-09-2004, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Ok, you reminded me of an unrelated story.

I had this male friend (ex, actually) in college who decided I needed to get laid (by someone else). So I mention my friend Charlie is coming into town to visit, and this guy starts going on about how I should rent 9 1/2 weeks and I will definitely get laid. I told him "umm... I really don't think so. You haven't met Charlie." And he said "oh, it doesn't matter, you will definitely get laid" blah blah blah, all this macho BS stuff to demonstrate that he knows ALL about getting laid. So I invite him along to dinner with Charlie his first night in town.

Needless to say, Charlie is a 6 foot 2, 350 pound flaming kimono wearing opera queen. There is no magnifier of the adjective "flamboyant" to adequately encompass Charlie's complete, queeny flamboyance. He makes QE4TSG's Carson seem about as gay as Gregory Peck in the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. So Charlie comes dashing in the front door of the restaurant, sees me, shrieks like a 13 y.o. girl and runs up to grab me squealing "ooh, Baddie, you look divine!! New shoes!!!" and bouncing up and down, all 350 pounds of him, with his silk scarf flapping out behind him.

The expression on the ex's face was one of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen in my life. Thank you for reminding me of it.

So, let me get this straight. Charlie is Wonk, right? Did you guys have flamboyant sex or what?

TM

leagleaze · 03-09-2004, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
The expression on the ex's face was one of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen in my life. Thank you for reminding me of it.

That's pretty classic. I have a gay, male friend like that, lives in Chicago. And at last count, at age 26, he had not yet gotten laid.

Poor guy.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 03-09-2004, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
TOTALLY!! I turned to my husband and tried to explain the concept of heterosexual man crush -- but he didn't get it. I was trying to think of an example, but I couldn't remember who the popular dudes with the dudes were.

A little help, please?

Valid man crushes:

(1) John Corbett when he was on Northern Exposure, although his Yanni character in the otherwise unwatchable Serendipity was hilarious. The video? It deserved to be in a better movie.

(2) Jon Stewart

(3) Jason Lee, when he was funny. That time is not now.

(4) Billy Crudup. "I am a golden god." Prefontaine? Good stuff.

(5) Jack Nicholson, just b/c he's cool as shit while not knowing where he is half the time.

(6) Clooney, although he may be too pretty. Same with Pitt. Both are pretty damn cool. But both could be seen as more than hetero.

(7)Bradley Whitford, but only when he is on the West Wing (when it was good).

(8) Any actor who is too cool for Hollywood, e.g. Johnny Depp.

My list is not exhaustive.

Atticus Grinch · 03-09-2004, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by leagleaze
Manners are one thing, assuming men should do this stuff for women but not women for men is downright patronizing. Get me somewhere safely? Oh bull fucking shit. Do I look like a delicate flower prone to swooning? I didn't think so.

In a suitably meek defense of the tradition, it was as much about predictability as it was about being "patronizing." Just as with commercial law, the thought behind this set of manners was to lubricate social interactions by making them regular and predictable, rather than vindicating a social concept like Women Are Weak or Women Need Help. It was more like the Rules of the Road, where the car on the right has the right of way in a four-way stop, because somebody has to have the right of way or we'll be there all day.

The alternative seems to be either an Alphonse and Gaston routine, or dirty looks for having guessed incorrectly. I prefer the old way, but will not open doors for a person a second time after having received a dirty look.

robustpuppy · 03-09-2004, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Valid man crushes:

(1) John Corbett when he was on Northern Exposure, although his Yanni character in the otherwise unwatchable Serendipity was hilarious. The video? It deserved to be in a better movie.

(2) Jon Stewart

(3) Jason Lee, when he was funny. That time is not now.

(4) Billy Crudup. "I am a golden god." Prefontaine? Good stuff.

(5) Jack Nicholson, just b/c he's cool as shit while not knowing where he is half the time.

(6) Clooney, although he may be too pretty. Same with Pitt. Both are pretty damn cool. But both could be seen as more than hetero.

(7)Bradley Whitford, but only when he is on the West Wing (when it was good).

(8) Any actor who is too cool for Hollywood, e.g. Johnny Depp.

My list is not exhaustive.

Coltrane, some of these guys aren't even valid crushes for women.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 03-09-2004, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Coltrane, some of these guys aren't even valid crushes for women.

I don't see how that's the least bit relevant.

AnotherSarcasticSock · 03-09-2004, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Valid man crushes:

(1) John Corbett when he was on Northern Exposure, although his Yanni character in the otherwise unwatchable Serendipity was hilarious. The video? It deserved to be in a better movie.

(2) Jon Stewart

(3) Jason Lee, when he was funny. That time is not now.

(4) Billy Crudup. "I am a golden god." Prefontaine? Good stuff.

(5) Jack Nicholson, just b/c he's cool as shit while not knowing where he is half the time.

(6) Clooney, although he may be too pretty. Same with Pitt. Both are pretty damn cool. But both could be seen as more than hetero.

(7)Bradley Whitford, but only when he is on the West Wing (when it was good).

(8) Any actor who is too cool for Hollywood, e.g. Johnny Depp.

My list is not exhaustive.

Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I think that after you list your 3rd man crush, you're gay. Somewhat akin to saying "I could see how you'd want to put his cock in your mouth, not that I'd like to do it, but I can see why you would"