Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bilmore
A. You just did.

2. I'm baiting you.

Last, I'm still trying to picture you breaking up fights.

Actually happens more often than you would think given two things:

1. My idiot friends.

B. The last time I was around for a huge brawl one of my friends was involved in, where some asshole who had just gotten his ass kicked came back with a gun and shot up the back of said friend's car.

TM

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
You are like the non-subtle person that spoils the subtle person's joke.

In fact, you are not just like that person, you are that person.

You, on the other hand, are quite funny.

Tax Wonk, however, sucks.

Oh and the answer is none of the above, cause assumption of risk.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Oh and the answer is none of the above, cause assumption of risk.

Indeed. Describing a person as "young-ish" is asking to be slapped.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Actually happens more often than you would think given two things:

1. My idiot friends.

B. The last time I was around for a huge brawl one of my friends was involved in, where some asshole who had just gotten his ass kicked came back with a gun and shot up the back of said friend's car.

TM

You New York lawyers. It's a whole different style of practice back there.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
You are like the non-subtle person that spoils the subtle person's joke.

In fact, you are not just like that person, you are that person.

I wasn't spoiling it, I was helping someone else understand it.

Elitist bit- . . .

Never mind.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by leagleaze
You, on the other hand, are quite funny.

Tax Wonk, however, sucks.

Oh and the answer is none of the above, cause assumption of risk.

Piffle.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Indeed. Describing a person as "young-ish" is asking to be slapped.

Look, there are only so many ways one can get around "school-marmish, but at least unwrinkled."

[Tyrone Slothrop]

I wasn't paying attention, so could someone explain to me what kind of penalties Brittney Spears would be facing if that Defense of Marriage constitutional thingie were already enacted?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Because I like all of you -- well, almost all of you -- let me tip you off to a terrific Opportunity For Humor just sitting out there. Be the first in your office to make this joke: "The first pictures are just back from Mars, and they found ____________."

Fill in the blank with something unrelated but topical:

a) John Kerry's presidential chances.
b) Osama bin Laden
c) Jimmy Hoffa (not topical, but usually good for a chuckle)
d) The guy who programmed the BCS computer.
e) JustForFun
f) etc.

Your pal,

T.S.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Bit isn't it time we moved on here? Perhaps a hypothetical would help.

If X, a married, fat bald, hairy lecherous tax attorney were to walk into a bar in Washington DC, our nation's capital and a place where such people are not universally shunned on sight, and offer to buy R, a svelte, witty, young-ish single but committed an attorney a drink, would her slapping him constitute:

a) an ancient tort

b) a civil rights violation;

c) a low-carb cardio activity (Atkins-approved);

d) CBS's newest reality show; or

e) A PLEA TO FUCKING MOVE ON TO SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING FOR GOD'S SAKE EVEN DRUGS CAN'T MAKE THIS DRIVEL INTERESTING

If you looked like this, you could have been married to Brittney. At least for the night. Which is good enough I suppose. Marriage question, I thought that if you "consummated" the marriage, that you couldn't get an annulment, or is that just a Catholic thing? Or am I thinking soap opera law?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
I wasn't paying attention, so could someone explain to me what kind of penalties Brittney Spears would be facing if that Defense of Marriage constitutional thingie were already enacted?

If passed, it appears Congress can order her to "naturally procreate" with the guy.

Section 4. Congress shall have the power, by appropriate legislation, to promote and protect marriage and the natural procreation of children within marriage, to discourage and limit divorce, to discourage and limit remarriage after divorce, to discourage, limit, or outlaw adultery, and to discourage, limit, or outlaw any artificial means of procreation.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
If you looked like this, you could have been married to Brittney. At least for the night. Which is good enough I suppose. Marriage question, I thought that if you "consummated" the marriage, that you couldn't get an annulment, or is that just a Catholic thing? Or am I thinking soap opera law?

If you were Brittney, would you fuck me if I looked like that? And if the answer is yes, then PM me for travel arrangements. Even I'm better looking than Bilmore -- uh, that guy.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Boy gets stuck in supermarket game machine
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Jan. 5, 2004 | SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) -- A 7-year-old boy had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith Saturday after crawling into a supermarket's stuffed animal game machine while his father talked on the telephone.

He said the boy stayed calm and didn't panic as firefighters responded to the Piggly Wiggly store and then moved the game machine to the back of the store and got a locksmith to open the main loading door. The process took about an hour.

But rescuers hadn't figured out how the boy was able to crawl into the game, or why no one in the store's busy lobby spotted him and stopped him before he got inside.

I'll be filing a replevin action against the kid for the return of the Sponge Bob Square Pants plush toy and $37.50 in quarters that turned up missing after this alleged "rescue."

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
If passed, it appears Congress can order her to "naturally procreate" with the guy.

Hank, much as I would rather pretend that shite you quoted didn't exist, could you post a link to a source for it?

I'm too lazy and too busy looking for schoolmarm avatars to research it myself.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Hank, much as I would rather pretend that shite you quoted didn't exist, could you post a link to a source for it?

That isn't the one that was introduced actually.

But here is the text of the one Hank quoted.

http://www.catholicplanet.com/cathol...t-marriage.htm


This is the one that was introduced:

FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT (H.J.Res. 56)
Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this constitution or the constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that marital status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon unmarried couples or groups.


It impacts both marriage and domestic partnerships.