A sad, constant bid for attention

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
So, Mr. Man and I were walking home tonight in our neighborhood when we heard a *pop* and a woman 5 feet in front of us (standing at a valet stand) was hit with a paintball that was shot from a car. My question: is there anything that makes high school punks from Brentwood who drive around shooting paintballs out of cars any less reprehensible than gang bangers in Compton who drive around shooting real bullets?

In any event, it was not a particularly pleasant experience to see someone shot right in front of us. A bit of a buzzkill.

Was she O.K.? Are you O.K.? I'd be a bit traumatized.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
So, Mr. Man and I were walking home tonight in our neighborhood when we heard a *pop* and a woman 5 feet in front of us (standing at a valet stand) was hit with a paintball that was shot from a car. My question: is there anything that makes high school punks from Brentwood who drive around shooting paintballs out of cars any less reprehensible than gang bangers in Compton who drive around shooting real bullets?

In any event, it was not a particularly pleasant experience to see someone shot right in front of us. A bit of a buzzkill.

Sounds like fun to me. Something me and my friends would have done in high school, had we paintball guns.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by LessinSF
Sounds like fun to me. Something me and my friends would have done in high school, had we paintball guns.

Well then, you and your friends in high school sound like assholes. No offence.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Well then, you and your friends in high school sound like assholes. No offence.

Mov to the 'burbs where they throw kids in jail for that shit.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
So, Mr. Man and I were walking home tonight in our neighborhood when we heard a *pop* and a woman 5 feet in front of us (standing at a valet stand) was hit with a paintball that was shot from a car. My question: is there anything that makes high school punks from Brentwood who drive around shooting paintballs out of cars any less reprehensible than gang bangers in Compton who drive around shooting real bullets?

In any event, it was not a particularly pleasant experience to see someone shot right in front of us. A bit of a buzzkill.

You can console yourself with the thought of them getting shot with a real gun by someone acting in good-faith self-defense one of these days.

[Tables R Us]

Originally posted by ncs
[A couple of pedestrians was paintballed in front of me. I'm traumatized.]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Mov to the 'burbs.

No help there, pony boy. In the burbs, there's delinquents throwing slurpee cups full of warm piss on pedestrians. To say nothing of shit-bombing houses.

[Tables R Us]

I didn't know there were enough rednecks in Minn to get one of their own appointed school principal. They're representative shot two kittens found on campus because "he didn't want the animals to suffer."

Article

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Well then, you and your friends in high school sound like assholes. No offence.

True story, and potentially outable.......

As a youth in the burbs my posse engaged in lots of prankish behavior. One year, around Halloween time we were out egging houses, shitting in milk boxes etc etc et al. At one point we scatter when a homeowner comes out with a rifle and shoots it into the air (i.e skyward). We regroup a short while later at the appointed spot behind some trees off the side of the road in a wooded area. All of sudden a old tan Olds Delta 88 pulls up and slams on the brakes. Someone jumps out. We scatter into the woods, screaming. As I am running away I hear a crashing smashing sound (like Gallagher hitting a watermelon with one of those giant hammers) and all of sudden my crew's leader screams out in pain. We stop and turn around and see the Olds 88 peal out. Our comrade is on the ground writhing in pain. Turns out someone jumped out of the car and threw a whole pumpkin at us and hit him in the knee. Broken kneecap. Permanent limp. Never played ball again.

About three years later I am out in the driveway of another neighbourhood kid playin some hoops. This kid was a bit younger and had not been present at the above event. All of sudden a car drives by and then jams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. It backs up and out jumps an old man, late 60ish. He has a little kid in the passenger seat. The car.......old tan Olds Delta 88. He starts yelling at us saying "waht the heck are you kids doing?!!? Are you crazy??" My buddy's mother comes out and says, "what is going on?".

The old guy then claims that we threw a pumpkin at his car...........

Coincidence?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Tables R Us
I didn't know there were enough rednecks in Minn to get one of their own appointed school principal. They're representative shot two kittens found on campus because "he didn't want the animals to suffer."

Article

I think that this is the Minnesota nice thing. By day, caring school principal, on the side, kitten killer.

OTOH, the ice cream sandwich was invented in Minnesota......

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
When my grandfather died, my uncle drove 800 miles with his casket in the back of his pick-up truck to bring him to the funeral, but he had one end of the casket sticking up above the cab rather than up on the tailgate.

You should write a novel about this, with no punctuation.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Adder
You actually laugh about that? huh.

When my grandmother died, I helped my mom make arrangements. In the funeral home, they led us into the room full o'coffins, and allowed us a few moments along to choose one. I touched one (with a lovely pink silk lining) and the lid fell off. Mom and I wound up laughing hysterically for several moments, saying things like "Well, we broke it... I guess we bought it."

There are times when you have to laugh, else you'd be crushed by the depth of what you feel.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
About three years later I am out in the driveway of another neighbourhood kid playin some hoops. This kid was a bit younger and had not been present at the above event.

age diff? if stuff had happened between the 2 of you would you be a pederast or a pedophile?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
age diff? if stuff had happened between the 2 of you would you be a pederast or a pedophile?

At the time he was an alter-boy and I was a summer counselour at our church's CYO camp, so I believe he fell into the safe-harbour provisions of the state's statutory rape laws.,..

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
True story, and potentially outable.......

As a youth in the burbs my posse engaged in lots of prankish behavior. One year, around Halloween time we were out egging houses, shitting in milk boxes etc etc et al. At one point we scatter when a homeowner comes out with a rifle and shoots it into the air (i.e skyward). We regroup a short while later at the appointed spot behind some trees off the side of the road in a wooded area. All of sudden a old tan Olds Delta 88 pulls up and slams on the brakes. Someone jumps out. We scatter into the woods, screaming. As I am running away I hear a crashing smashing sound (like Gallagher hitting a watermelon with one of those giant hammers) and all of sudden my crew's leader screams out in pain. We stop and turn around and see the Olds 88 peal out. Our comrade is on the ground writhing in pain. Turns out someone jumped out of the car and threw a whole pumpkin at us and hit him in the knee. Broken kneecap. Permanent limp. Never played ball again.

About three years later I am out in the driveway of another neighbourhood kid playin some hoops. This kid was a bit younger and had not been present at the above event. All of sudden a car drives by and then jams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. It backs up and out jumps an old man, late 60ish. He has a little kid in the passenger seat. The car.......old tan Olds Delta 88. He starts yelling at us saying "waht the heck are you kids doing?!!? Are you crazy??" My buddy's mother comes out and says, "what is going on?".

The old guy then claims that we threw a pumpkin at his car...........

Coincidence?

Your friend/group leader couldn't out run some old man? Was it his sister you eventually married?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
When my grandmother died, I helped my mom make arrangements. In the funeral home, they led us into the room full o'coffins, and allowed us a few moments along to choose one. I touched one (with a lovely pink silk lining) and the lid fell off. Mom and I wound up laughing hysterically for several moments, saying things like "Well, we broke it... I guess we bought it."

There are times when you have to laugh, else you'd be crushed by the depth of what you feel.

Our family originates from the Rio Grande Valley town of Mercedes, and my grandfather was to be buried in the family plot there. The day before the funeral we drove down to Harlingon and checked into a local motel. We'd stayed at the same motel two weeks before, for my great-grandmother's funeral, so the usual touring around that we do in the Valley to check up on how much things had changed since the last time we were there was already taken care of. My great-aunts, my uncles, my aunt, and some of my cousins were staying at the same hotel.

The next morning, we stopped by the funeral home to make sure that the arrangements were properly made. The funeral was to start at the gravesite at 3:00, and so we called the rest of the family and arranged to meet at a restaurant in Reynosa for lunch, a larger border town on the other side of Harlingon. It was about 11:00 when we got there, and we were the only people in this massive restaurant. I think that there were about 30 or so of us at this long, long table in the restaurant. My dad started ordering cabrito. My uncle started ordering margaritas. The kids started drinking limonadas. A food orgy ensued. More food and more drink. Everyone started toasting my grandfather. Some mariachis showed up. At some point, someone looked at their watch, and we realized we only had twenty mintues to get to the funeral. A small level of pandemonium ensued at the inevitable arguing over the check, the trying to get out of the restaurant and find our cars, the counting of people trying to make sure that we had everyone. We started back towards the border and ran into a massive traffic jam. My dad bribed traffic cops right and left to get us closer to the border; my cousin, in the Suburban behind us, bribed the same cops. I think they even bribed the border patrol, at least on the Mexican side. It seemed like it took forever to get across that damned border. We kept on reassuring each other that we were the family, and they couldn't possibly start the funeral without us.

We raced as fast as we could to the cemetary, probably a good 15 to 20 minutes late. As we predicted, they hadn't started the funeral without us. It was mid-January, but it was a beautiful day. My great-grandmother's funeral two weeks before had been cold and dreary, but this was almost a warm day and the sun was shining brightly. There was a trailer home just on the other side of the fence from the cemetary, and throughout the funeral, norteño music blasted from an old radio out of the trailer. It got louder and softer depending on the breeze. Two butterflies were playing right above the coffin throughout the entire ceremony, distracting me and my cousin and making us giggle. The local American Legion chapter got wind that one of their own had fallen, and at the end of the ceremony they blasted rifles into the air three times, scaring the shit out of my family. We're very lucky no one fell down at that point. The party lasted another couple of hours, with more booze and food at a cousin's house. We invited the American Legion people to come along.

My grandfather would have wanted us drunk and late and laughing at his funeral. I think he would have risen from the grave, swiped the rifles from the American Legion dudes, and shot us all if we were somber and maudlin and appropriate.