Fringey's taut-abbed painter - Page 293

mmm3587 · 01-12-2005, 01:58 PM

Sex and tits are both great. On a few occasions there have been more than two tits, which has been really fun. I have been trying to avoide letting that coud my judgment, though. I think 6-12 months is the period when I have to think about a decision, but these things have been bugging me lately.

What is a legitimate number of Xanax to take in, say, a week?

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 01-12-2005, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You lost me when you used the words "centris paribus".

Economist major + lawyer? Yikes. Me too.

sebastian_dangerfield · 01-12-2005, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
I could post this as anon, but I'm anon anyway, and I figure that everybody will get off on making fun of me. TM, please at least do some good mentor jokes this time. RP, please find good ways to point out how much of a troll I am. That's cool, but I'm also looking for advice, since I'm sure others have dealt with these kinds of situations.

Anyway, I have been dating someone for the past several months, and we are getting a little more serious. Many aspects of the relationship are really great: she's really fun to be around, very intelligent, very attractive, the sex is great, all our friends like each other, etc.

There are a few problems, though: she is very irresponsible about money and still has massive debt from college and grad school (lawyer-style debt, and she doesn't and probably never will make anywhere near enough money to pay it off quickly), she has all kinds of mental illness in her family and all kinds of crazy stuff in her past and she takes a truly impressive amount of (legitimately prescribed) prescription drugs. She also tends to occasionally drink to absolute drunkedness to the point where she gets lost somewhere in a club or a party and I won't see her for hours because she was off somewhere without a concern in the world.

I'm trying to decide whether I should just run from this relationship before it gets any more serious, or stick it out to see where things go. I really enjoy her company and the relationship, and like her as a person, but I'm worried that those things will fade, and I'll be involved with a drunk junkie with a fucked up family history and massive debt.

I'm not really a believer in the abiity to change a person in a relationship, and the brief discussions about the booze, the pills and occasional coke for her own good have NOT been well-received. I like all that fun stuff, too, but you really have to be careful with the latter two to avoid, well, royally fucking up your life, and I'm concerned that she is or will be pretty close to the line.

It's also a little bit selfish, but I can't help but see that, centris paribus, getting involved with her longterm carries with it a six figure price tag because of her debt and low income. I've got enough ways that I am locked into being a Biglaw lawyer; I don't need any more. I guess that is selfish, but it's certainly relevant.

I think staying with her over all these issues would be the textbook defintion of enabling, even if I (probably) love her. So, I think I am out, but I guess I'm looking for thoughts and advice about these sorts of things. Everyone I know has an opinion, but I thought some of the comments here would be more objective and snipey, which is always fun. Enough people around here seem to be separate, divorced, married or whatever that the different perspectives might be useful, I thought. Jokes are fine, too.

This. Is. Overthinking.

"Centris paribus"? What the fuck is the matter with you?

BTW, if you equate love and debt as equally important, you're fucked. I couldn't care what my wife had attached to her. You'll be dead in 50 years. You'll go through millions between now and then, but you might never find a person you really love.

But she sounds like a fucking headcase (too many prescriptions). Dump her.

ETA: Threesomes? Stick with her until it becomes unbearable.

bold_n_brazen · 01-12-2005, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587

What is a legitimate number of Xanax to take in, say, a week?

Depends on what the week requires of you. And how long you've been taking them.

I mean, that's what I've heard, of course....

notcasesensitive · 01-12-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Sounds like fodder for some decent stories, if nothing else. I say stick with it.

(Oh, and stop being such a ninny.)

This is the correct answer. Unless you are a latin-quoting tool.

E Pluribus Unim.

mmm3587 · 01-12-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
BTW, if you equate love and debt as equally important, you're fucked. I couldn't care what my wife had attached to her. You'll be dead in 50 years. You'll go through millions between now and then, but you might never find a person you really love.

It's not the absolute number, it's the way that she deals with it. She's absurdly irresponsible about it, ignoring it while she buys expensive shit on credit cards. It's like an Oprah episode. Alone, it might not be an issue, but it's part of the picture.

sebastian_dangerfield · 01-12-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Depends on what the week requires of you. And how long you've been taking them.

I mean, that's what I've heard, of course....

Depends how bad the shit was and how fast it got your heart beating. If the heart is doing 110, take two. If its doing 125, take three. Over 125, you're on your own. Godspeed.

sebastian_dangerfield · 01-12-2005, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
It's not the absolute number, it's the way that she deals with it. She's absurdly irresponsible about it, ignoring it while she buys expensive shit on credit cards. It's like an Oprah episode. Alone, it might not be an issue, but it's part of the picture.

(I say this as I lay out a silly amount of money on a totally useless luxry item) Credit spending is irresponsible. That would annoy me. But the threesome... well, that evens things out.

Don't get hitched to her, but ride this puppy until its knees break. Jesus man, you know how hard it is to find a crazy chick with great tits who'll go down on another chick in front of you? My God, how does a Latin-quoter like you get boy band ass like that? You must be hung like a fucking Clydesdale. Good for you.

Get some video. You'll want to remember this shit someday.

yadda yadda yadda · 01-12-2005, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
There are a few problems, though: she is very irresponsible about money and still has massive debt from college and grad school (lawyer-style debt, and she doesn't and probably never will make anywhere near enough money to pay it off quickly), she has all kinds of mental illness in her family and all kinds of crazy stuff in her past and she takes a truly impressive amount of (legitimately prescribed) prescription drugs. She also tends to occasionally drink to absolute drunkedness to the point where she gets lost somewhere in a club or a party and I won't see her for hours because she was off somewhere without a concern in the world.

If you are going to resent supporting a drunk junkie with massive debt, get out.

greatwhitenorthchick · 01-12-2005, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield My God, how does a Latin-quoter like you get boy band ass like that?

Quote of the day. (QOTM?).

ThurgreedMarshall · 01-12-2005, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Don't nutmeg us with your faux ignorance.

You are so cool.

TM

ABBAKiss · 01-12-2005, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
Should I stay with fun but irresponsible person

No. Break up with her and give her ex-Mr. Kiss's number. She will not change. She will probably get worse if you provide her with money and bail her out of situations. Keep her as a friend but don't harness yourself to her.

Replaced_Texan · 01-12-2005, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by yadda yadda yadda
If you are going to resent supporting a drunk junkie with massive debt, get out.

2. Plus, if she's unstable, she could turn on you if you get up the nerve to put your foot down regarding her spending and / or fucked-upness.

mmm3587 · 01-12-2005, 02:16 PM

I knew that centris paribus would serve as a target for derision!

A related question is, is it really fair to her and not overly self-centered just to enjoy the fuck out of myself until this shit comes to a head, and then get out? That makes me feel like a bit of a user, having fun and engaging in certain activities I've only had a few chances to do in the past. But I don't really want to wait until she overdoses or is truly baraged by creditors before I jump ship. That would seem like a really shitty thing to do.

Eta Most women I knew like this in the past generally seemed to get things together and are pretty normal by the age we are now. But she's around my age and still doing all this shit. That's the real issue. It doesn't seem like she will grow out of it.

Replaced_Texan · 01-12-2005, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
I knew that centris paribus would serve as a target for derision!

A related question is, is it really fair to her and not overly self-centered just to enjoy the fuck out of myself until this shit comes to a head, and then get out? That makes me feel like a bit of a user, having fun and engaging in certain activities I've only had a few chances to do in the past. But I don't really want to wait until she overdoses or is truly baraged by creditors before I jump ship. That would seem like a really shitty thing to do.

Is there a way to back out slowly, or are you too deep into the relationship where the only real options are getting out or taking it to the next level (whatever that's moving in together, talking about marriage, etc.)