Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I knew that centris paribus would serve as a target for derision!

A related question is, is it really fair to her and not overly self-centered just to enjoy the fuck out of myself until this shit comes to a head, and then get out? That makes me feel like a bit of a user, having fun and engaging in certain activities I've only had a few chances to do in the past. But I don't really want to wait until she overdoses or is truly baraged by creditors before I jump ship. That would seem like a really shitty thing to do.

Um, we knew that you knew.

If she isn't bugging you for commitment, why is continuing to date casually a problem? You don't dump her the day she ODs, you wait a month. And her creditors can't get anything from you, right? Big deal.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
(I say this as I lay out a silly amount of money on a totally useless luxry item) Credit spending is irresponsible. That would annoy me. But the threesome... well, that evens things out.

You're assuming a threesome. All he said was there were more than two tits on occasion. I think this is a drug reference. If it is not, I would add that I have done the bit with the psycho who enjoyed threesomes. Though I remember them fondly, the threesomes did not make it worth it, carrotus publius.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by mmm3587
But I don't really want to wait until she overdoses or is truly baraged by creditors before I jump ship. That would seem like a really shitty thing to do...

You have an obvious out here. You need to get some MFM threesomes going as well as FMF, then let her split off with the spare M. You'll have at least one obvious road to travel as well.

[lookingformarket]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
My God, how does a Latin-quoter like you get boy band ass like that?

Coke.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I knew that centris paribus would serve as a target for derision!

If you're going to go to the trouble of using latin, make sure you get it right. At least if you want dtb to be in one of those threesomes.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
You don't dump her the day she ODs, you wait a month.

Used to be you could get a definitive ruling on points of etiquette like this. I miss Debtslave . . . <<sniff>>

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Is there a way to back out slowly, or are you too deep into the relationship where the only real options are getting out or taking it to the next level (whatever that's moving in together, talking about marriage, etc.)

I can back out slowly, and nothing super serious is going on yet. We've been dating seriously since September or so, been to a few weddings, met each others' parents. But the time together has been pretty short and I think both of us understand that it's still just good times. But if some serious thing happens, I don't know that I can really just walk away then. I would have to at least be there for her if that happened.

I've pretty much tried to be reasonable about the drinking, drugs, etc. I'd be a hypocrite if I weren't, since I do all the same stuff, too, and I've even take a prescription drug recreationally now and then. But it's kind of a drag being in a relationship where you have to always be the voice of reason and act like you're a fucking father to someone. Having to ask "isn't that line a little big?" and "where's your coat?" gets annoying if you have to do it all the time. What's the point where I have to be a little judgmental and tell her that she really needs to chill out and think about her usage or rehab and all that related stuff? That's really independent of all the relationship stuff; no matter what else, she'd be a friend, and there's a point where someone is fucking themselves up bad enough that you have to step in in some way.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Anyway, I have been dating someone for the past several months, and we are getting a little more serious. Many aspects of the relationship are really great: she's really fun to be around, very intelligent, very attractive, the sex is great, all our friends like each other, etc.

There are a few problems, though: she is very irresponsible about money and still has massive debt from college and grad school (lawyer-style debt, and she doesn't and probably never will make anywhere near enough money to pay it off quickly)...

I say you kill the bitch. Oh, wait. You weren't done.

Originally posted by mmm3587 ...she has all kinds of mental illness in her family and all kinds of crazy stuff in her past and she takes a truly impressive amount of (legitimately prescribed) prescription drugs. She also tends to occasionally drink to absolute drunkedness...

Didn't I post a photo of mini-cupcakes already? If they're not working, buy fringe a family pack of the larger variety. Oh, wait. You're still not done.

Originally posted by mmm3587
...to the point where she gets lost somewhere in a club or a party and I won't see her for hours because she was off somewhere without a concern in the world.

I'm sure she wasn't fucking anyone else. But if she was, please see my first response.

Originally posted by mmm3587
I'm trying to decide whether I should just run from this relationship before it gets any more serious, or stick it out to see where things go. I really enjoy her company and the relationship, and like her as a person, but I'm worried that those things will fade, and I'll be involved with a drunk junkie with a fucked up family history and massive debt.

Did you ask her what her number of previous sex-partners is? Make sure you get a full and accurate accounting, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).

Originally posted by mmm3587
I think staying with her over all these issues would be the textbook defintion of enabling, even if I (probably) love her. So, I think I am out

Next time you're in bed and she whispers, "I love you mmmmmm252356," just say, "I (probably) love you too." Problem solved.

TM

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
If you're going to go to the trouble of using latin, make sure you get it right. At least if you want dtb to be in one of those threesomes.

E PLURIBUS ANUM

Out of any group, there's always one asshole.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Did you ask her what her number of previous sex-partners is? Make sure you get a full and accurate accounting, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).



TM

I finally get the meaning of his moniker.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Sex and tits are both great. On a few occasions there have been more than two tits, which has been really fun.

You're fucking shape shifter?

TM

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
E PLURIBUS ANUM

Out of any group, there's always one asshole.

". . . because I sure as hell didn't ask to be a 12-inch pianist!"

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I knew that centris paribus would serve as a target for derision!

A related question is, is it really fair to her and not overly self-centered just to enjoy the fuck out of myself until this shit comes to a head, and then get out? That makes me feel like a bit of a user, having fun and engaging in certain activities I've only had a few chances to do in the past. But I don't really want to wait until she overdoses or is truly baraged by creditors before I jump ship. That would seem like a really shitty thing to do.

Eta Most women I knew like this in the past generally seemed to get things together and are pretty normal by the age we are now. But she's around my age and still doing all this shit. That's the real issue. It doesn't seem like she will grow out of it.

If she is not interested in moving the relationship to the next level then no harm no foul. However, if her current housing situation becomes unstable you may find yourself with a 'roommate'. The longer the relationship lasts the harder it may be to extricate yourself.

If she hasn't grown out of her drunk junkie free-spending ways by now, she never will.

It sounds like she is a drink or pill away from turning into a stalker. If you stick it out for the sex, be careful.

A few follow up questions:
Have any of your friends commented on her club disappearances?
Are you sure the pills are 'Xanax'?
Any good sex stories you can share in response to Paigow's poll?

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
You're assuming a threesome. All he said was there were more than two tits on occasion. I think this is a drug reference.

Nope, no H. It was a threesome reference.

She's also very loyal, and we've talked about the sex, previous partners and extra-relationship sex issues. That stuff's not a concern. I trust her about all that.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I can back out slowly, and nothing super serious is going on yet. We've been dating seriously since September or so, been to a few weddings, met each others' parents. But the time together has been pretty short and I think both of us understand that it's still just good times. But if some serious thing happens, I don't know that I can really just walk away then. I would have to at least be there for her if that happened.

I've pretty much tried to be reasonable about the drinking, drugs, etc. I'd be a hypocrite if I weren't, since I do all the same stuff, too, and I've even take a prescription drug recreationally now and then. But it's kind of a drag being in a relationship where you have to always be the voice of reason and act like you're a fucking father to someone. Having to ask "isn't that line a little big?" and "where's your coat?" gets annoying if you have to do it all the time. What's the point where I have to be a little judgmental and tell her that she really needs to chill out and think about her usage or rehab and all that related stuff? That's really independent of all the relationship stuff; no matter what else, she'd be a friend, and there's a point where someone is fucking themselves up bad enough that you have to step in in some way.

There is never any reason to ask "isn't that line a little big?"

I think you are making this way harder than it is. If you like hanging out with her, keep hanging out with her. If you don't, then stop.