Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

[Dave]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
filing an annulment:

This reminds me of the good ol' days. I tried really hard to land a job in Vegas after law school, but being neither mafia nor connected in anyway to anything west of, say, Chicago, no dice. That's one screwed up market.

The only place in America where you could have that haircut (TISWWT) and still have a shot at a high-profile client.

[Dave]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I'm racking my brain to keep abreast of all of this!

I was going to say whiff, but I wouldn't want to interfere with the racking. Racking is good.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Dave
I was going to say whiff, but I wouldn't want to interfere with the racking. Racking is good.

Bring back Dave Nelson!

Normally at a time like this I'd ask you for advice, and you'd say something that would make no sense at all, but somehow it would all fit together. Like, I would tell you, "Sir, I have a problem," and you'd say, "Well, what is it?" and I'd say, "Well, sir, Lisa wants to have a baby, but she doesn't want to get married," and you'd say "Dave, why milk the cow when you have a fridge full of steaks?" And I'd say, "Sir, that makes no sense," and you'd say, "Well, it sure made sense when that guy Chuck Connors said it in that movie Chinatown," and I'd say, "Sir, Chuck Connors wasn't in Chinatown," and you'd say, "Dave, if I wanted to have this conversation I'd have hired that guy Siskel Ebert to do your job," and I'd say, "Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two people," and you'd say, "Dave, just because the man is fat is no reason to make fun of him."

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Bring back Dave Nelson!

Normally at a time like this I'd ask you for advice, and you'd say something that would make no sense at all, but somehow it would all fit together. Like, I would tell you, "Sir, I have a problem," and you'd say, "Well, what is it?" and I'd say, "Well, sir, Lisa wants to have a baby, but she doesn't want to get married," and you'd say "Dave, why milk the cow when you have a fridge full of steaks?" And I'd say, "Sir, that makes no sense," and you'd say, "Well, it sure made sense when that guy Chuck Connors said it in that movie Chinatown," and I'd say, "Sir, Chuck Connors wasn't in Chinatown," and you'd say, "Dave, if I wanted to have this conversation I'd have hired that guy Siskel Ebert to do your job," and I'd say, "Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two people," and you'd say, "Dave, just because the man is fat is no reason to make fun of him."

I think these jokes should be taken out and shot.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Dave
The only place in America where you could have that haircut (TISWWT) and still have a shot at a high-profile client.

Chesnoff is the former law partner of the mayor of Vegas, Oscar Goodman, who played himself in "Casino" as the mob lawyer who represented Rothstein and Spilotro. Its udderly fantastic that they elected him mayor. I used to live there. Ah, the mammaries. I'd breast stop now.

[Watchtower]

The board just seemed to cry out for me today.

First, what's wrong with showing your wares around a Christian nudist camp? Sounds kind of neat to me. Though I'm partial to slightly older and wiser perfection myself.

Second, I hardly think that hair is unique to Las Vegas. Try Syracuse, Albany, Buffalo, even Pittsburg. Mid-sized American cities everywhere. And I expect you could see several variations of that hair cut in any self-respected Christian Nudist Camp. It's just another reason to go.

So, anyone want to meet me there when this thing is built?

[Dave]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Bring back Dave Nelson!

Normally at a time like this I'd ask you for advice, and you'd say something that would make no sense at all, but somehow it would all fit together. Like, I would tell you, "Sir, I have a problem," and you'd say, "Well, what is it?" and I'd say, "Well, sir, Lisa wants to have a baby, but she doesn't want to get married," and you'd say "Dave, why milk the cow when you have a fridge full of steaks?" And I'd say, "Sir, that makes no sense," and you'd say, "Well, it sure made sense when that guy Chuck Connors said it in that movie Chinatown," and I'd say, "Sir, Chuck Connors wasn't in Chinatown," and you'd say, "Dave, if I wanted to have this conversation I'd have hired that guy Siskel Ebert to do your job," and I'd say, "Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two people," and you'd say, "Dave, just because the man is fat is no reason to make fun of him."

You are treading on dangerous ground here. I can keep up with you, one NewsRadio quote after another. Sooner or later, we've driven everyone else to so much distraction that they start posting boring shit about winter storms (blizzarding here too) and forked tongues.

But your wish is my command, if only because Britney's lawyer, posted above, bears at least a passing resemblance to Jimmy James.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by robustpuppy

It was the breast of times; it was the wurst of times.

Resolved: Madeline Kahn is an older, more voluptuous, funnier, and deader Reese Witherspoon.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Watchtower
So, anyone want to meet me there when this thing is built?

Yes. I would like to go to a Christian nudist camp with you. But before I go, I want to get a tattoo of a labrys on my breasts. And maybe some sort of a wiccan symbol on my back.


Please, Reese wishes she was even a tenth that funny.

[Watchtower]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Yes. I would like to go to a Christian nudist camp with you. But before I go, I want to get a tattoo of a labrys on my breasts. And maybe some sort of a wiccan symbol on my back.

I'll be driving the car with NY license plate 666. So we should be able to find each other!

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Please, Reese wishes she was even a tenth that funny.

Well, duh. I just meant the physical resemblence, which I never noticed until the still from "Blazing Saddles" was posted.



"Baby, please! I am not from Havana!" I don't even understand that line, but it makes me laugh every time.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Well, duh. I just meant the physical resemblence, which I never noticed until the still from "Blazing Saddles" was posted.

Hm, yes I see some. Now that you mention it. Reese needs to gain some weight in her face. That chin is almost Jay Leno scary.


I am not sure I understand that line either, but as with you, it makes me chuckle. But then that entire scene is classic.

It's twue it's twue!

[Atticus Grinch]

Hef would like to bang Britney.

One for the "Ya think?!?" file.

22 weeks, 4 days, 3 hours, 39 minutes, and 3 more seconds until we're reading a headline saying he'd like to bang the Olsen twins.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Yes. I would like to go to a Christian nudist camp with you. But before I go, I want to get a tattoo of a labrys on my breasts. And maybe some sort of a wiccan symbol on my back.


Please, Reese wishes she was even a tenth that funny.

90% of actors are never funny; their funniness is entirely a function of the screenwriters and editors on their projects.

Reese is not funny (though she had some good material to work with in Election).

Madeleine Kahn certainly seems like she was a funny and fun broad.

Ewan McGregor is an actor who (from hearing him interviewed a bunch) seems like a funny bastard. Radio interviews are generally the best way to tell which famous people are dullards.
Ewan most definitely is not; I think he's about to start or has started driving across EurAsia on his Motorcycle.

And finally, I give Britney's lawyer a 9 for Penn Jillette (at least based on that picture)

[Watchtower]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Resolved: Madeline Kahn is an older, more voluptuous, funnier, and deader Reese Witherspoon.

Isn't this kind of like saying that Christ was a bit more of the real thing than Pope Innocent VIII? Why would one even compare, and if you are going to compare, why not compare the reflection to the sun rather than the other way around?