imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I trust you won. And won big?

I'm betting s/he lost and the payout was that he had to post something.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by lookingformarket
I have turned down sex because of the lack of condoms. I have never turned down sex because I was unhappy with the condom that was available. Maybe I'd bring my own next time, but . . .

"Well, I'd love to bang the hell out of you, but I endorse Trojan Brand condoms and therefore wouldn't be comfortable using those. Could we just snuggle instead?"

Ages ago my then gf bought a package of "lady trojans" or something -- a label being advertised to women. Ridiculously thick. They felt like wearing an inner tube. Or like wearing a Mentor condom without taking the applicator off. She hated them almost as much as me.

As an alternative I did, in fact, suggest something much like snuggling. But inverted and with more tongue.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
I'm guessing this isn't my sock, then?

A little birdie says you lost your socks.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Rule #1 of FB: They are all men.
Rule #2 of FB: They are all Penske.

I have bona fide, irrefutable proof that at least three women post on this board.

And one monkey.

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
She hated them almost as much as me.

I can see why this relationship didn't work out. Was there anything she hated more than you?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
A little birdie says you lost your socks.

Hunh. I didn't know it was that kind of game.



Freaks.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ironweed
stuff

Who is the weirdo avatar? (I realize it is probably a soccer player - I just generally don't pay attention to their faces unless they are hot).

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I have bona fide, irrefutable proof that at least three women post on this board.

And one monkey.

Believe me, there are many more monkeys posting here. I'm just the only one that's out.

[SlaveNoMore]

Flinty_McFlint
A little birdie says you lost your socks.

Yes, losing the sock - after all else - made for quite the uncomfortable walk home.

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Who is the weirdo avatar? (I realize it is probably a soccer player - I just generally don't pay attention to their faces unless they are hot).

Neil Lennon. Plays for Celtic. That is the particularly unflattering picture the BBC uses when they report on him.

But he is not hot, and in the process of making the avatar I managed to give him what appears to be a bad case of excema. He will be leaving soon. Probably to be replaced with that giant penis I found while googling "drawn together" to find a picture of Spanky Hamm.

ETA: Don't forget the smokes!!!

EATA: I like the psychedelic Lennon avatar better. Still fucked up, but better.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ironweed

ETA: Don't forget the smokes!!!

I'm all over it.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by ironweed
I can see why this relationship didn't work out. Was there anything she hated more than you?

Blow jobs.

[Gattigap]

All you trend-spotters, spot this! Apple Computer, the new-old-new hipster company, is set to become the Ugg Boots of 2005.

First, they earn their own messianic Fortune cover:



And now -- Apple retail locations here in Los Angeles are being overrun by techno-stupid celebrities.

• Apple has four retail stores in the Los Angeles area, which give the sales associates ample opportunity to rub elbows with Hollywood celebrities. It isn't always pleasant.
  
  Out of respect for the celebrities' privacy, Apple forbids the stores' sales associates from talking to the press. But that hasn't stopped several staffers from sharing their celebrity anecdotes with Wired News -- stories that reveal Tinseltown's good, bad and ugly.

Money quote:

• Melanie Griffith threw a tantrum when she was unable to buy a pink iPod mini early last year, according to the sales associate who tried to serve her.
  
  The associate, who asked to remain anonymous, said Griffith came right up to him and "pretty much demanded" a pink iPod mini. The mini was in short supply, and the associate told her there were none in stock.
  
  "She then proceeded to get pissed off at me personally because we didn't have any in stock," the associate said. "She said we have a special stock of iPods for people like her.... I hadn't seen any celebrities there up until then, so at first I was like, 'Oh wow, cool, Melanie Griffith.' But then she opened her mouth and used me as a doormat, and I was like, 'What the fuck is this shit? Milk Money sucked.'

Goddamned eunuch. Obviously he never saw her masterful work as Margalo the Bird in Stuart Little 2.

[Skeks in the city]

WTF is up with her face? Bad plastic surgery?

[Skeks in the city]

Does this sound familiar, Hank?

http://wtop.com/index.php?sid=251752&nid=104