Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I am going to print out these articles and show them to people whenever they look at Mrs. R and me after we mention that we're thinking about not having kids.

You'd think it's a crime against humanity that we're thinking about not breeding. I don't care if we have "good genes" (their words, not mine) and that the world could use more "people like us." Fuck off. It's our life. We'll live it how we want.

I'm looking forward to a very happy life then. And why people say someone educated/intelligent will automatically bear an asset to society is utter conceit. How do these people know they're not actually raising the village idiot? Some asshole law firm partner? A Ted Bundy-esque sociopath?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by purse junkie
How do these people know they're not actually raising the village idiot? Some asshole law firm partner?

HEY! Keep these sneaky jabs at Hillary on the politics board......actually keep them to yourself unless you want to be branded a PenskeSock!®

[leagleaze]

I get dumb questions about kids too. All the time. I adore children, but I have very mixed feelings about being a mother.

Some people just don't have the temperment to have kids. And if it weren't some default in society that you just have to have them, we'd all be a heck of a lot better off.

I don't care if you are a saint, those buggers just know how to piss people off in a way adults couldn't begin to comprehend. And if you have this unresolved angst or anger hanging around, it is gonna come out and the target is gonna be the little ones.

They simply don't deserve that. I hate when parents act like kids owe them something. The kid didn't ask to be born, you know? It isn't a necessity of life. We don't have to be fruitful and multiply any more. We have been plenty fruitful.

[c2ed]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
I believe Once Upon a Time in Mexico is the third movie in the El Mariachi series, and American Wedding is the third American Pie movie...

Sadly, I'm not sure what the El Mariachi series is. And there was a second American Pie movie?


C(apparently I need to get out more)deuced

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Are there any parents out there who will admit on this board that they wish they'd never done it?

The articles say there are many parents who will say things like "It's a lot of stress" or "It really strained my marriage" but won't take the next step and say "I wish I'd never done it." I guess they would feel bad suggesting they wished their offspring had never been born (which in their mind is probably the equivalent of wishing them dead).

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Should there be some kind of sarcasm alert here? Or are you just being offensive?

Neither. (You forgot that third possibility, and I am helpfully reminding you of it.)

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by TexLex
Good for you - if you don't want them don't have them. You don't need to give anyone a reason why - it's none of their business.

People who make comments about the state of others' families should be taken out and shot. On a related note, the only thing possibly worse than comments about not having kids when you don't want them is comments nagging you about kids when biology isn't letting you have them.

I'm getting remarks right now like - "I guess you two do more than work after all," "See, I told you that you just needed to relax," "It's about time," and "So you finally figured it out, huh?" Yes - we've been fucking like bunnies for years, but sometimes that doesn't cut the mustard in the baby-making department, but thanks for your comment - it was ever so helpful.

-T(and crabby today too!)L

There are good reasons why certain subjects are entirely off limits in civilized society. For instance, the politics board has recently reminded us all why religion is traditionally one of them.

Questions about when or if you are having kids, and if so (or not) why (or not) is also one of them. (In fact, thinking or saying anything at all about the state or condition of anyone's reproductive organs is such an obvious gaffe that it is embarrasing to even have to point it out.) Even from family memebers who can be presumed to have some interest (i.e.: parents, with the usual exceptions for the education of minors). The only acceptable words to pass out of your mouth with respect to someone else's family (and particularly family planning) are "and how is Bob," "congratulations" and "how nice for you" (that can be particularly effective in warding off unwanted disclosures).

I tend to greet the "when are you two having kids" question with the "goodness, I don't know, we haven't got a crystal ball" response, but if pressed when I've had a few I do admit occasionally actively getting into it with the pushy. Usually to the tune of "I was thinking about it until I met yours." One really shouldn't, under any circumstances, get into the substance of such questions, it only encourages them to pry more.

However, I'm also a fan of guerilla etiquette reinforcement. Which means I advocate, upon being asked a rude, intrusive question, that people who are annoyed but not deeply damaged about the issue take it upon themselves to burst into hysterical tears and sob "Oh, God, I don't know! Why am I being punished like this? Why are you taunting me about it? How can you be so cruel?" and running off weeping while everyone in earshot glares at the rude interrogator for tormenting the innocent. It is the only way to train them never, ever to do it again before they hit on someone they actually hurt. (You will note that this generic outburst is useful with slight variation for many types of intrusive questions, including "why aren't you (two) married yet?" "Did junior get into Harvard (is junior toilet trained) yet?" "is your novel ever going to get published?") I understand that some people don't have the dramatic inclinations to do so, but I believe doing our part to shut down busy bodies really is a duty every individual owes to the rest of society.

[purse junkie]

(warning: photo of gross guy with ass hanging out):

http://www.boston.com/news/daily/06/odds_thong.htm

Here's another reason not to have kids. You might have this guy.

p(in theory, it's great he's at one with his bod and all--in practice, in public, eeewwwwwwww!)j

[evenodds]

Originally posted by c2ed
Sadly, I'm not sure what the El Mariachi series is. And there was a second American Pie movie?


C(apparently I need to get out more)deuced

El Mariachi is the movie Robert Rodriguez made prior to the Spy Kids movies (and Dusk Until Dawn, among others).

I am glad to see him returning to non-kids movies.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by lawyer_princess
Once a year (maybe on their anniversary), couples should sit down and have a serious talk about whether they want to start a family. That way no one assumes anything, no one is locked into a decision they made years earlier, and no one is afraid to speak of they they have a change of heart. If both parties agree that they still don't want children, there is peace of mind that you are both on the same page.

Oh, see, I greatly fear having just this sort of discussion. I can totally see myself admitting to the Mr. that I've changed my mind don't think I actually want children anymore and then trying to figure out what to do with two toddlers.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Are there any parents out there who will admit on this board that they wish they'd never done it?

The articles say there are many parents who will say things like "It's a lot of stress" or "It really strained my marriage" but won't take the next step and say "I wish I'd never done it." I guess they would feel bad suggesting they wished their offspring had never been born (which in their mind is probably the equivalent of wishing them dead).

I know one guy who would say this. He's an asshole. He's also the only guy I know who really thinks this.

I know of no one else in my circle of parent-friends ("circle jerks"?) who regrets having had kids. I don't mean, who says they regret having kids, but who truly does regret having kids (and I'm only counting the ones whose inner feelings I think I have an accurate handle on.) So, I think the article is skewed. (I will admit that, like most on these boards, I hang around with people a bit off the poverty line, and, while money can't buy happiness, it can buy your kids bikes so that they leave you alone for a few minutes, giving you a better chance to go and look for happiness without being bothered by a request for yogurt or a ride or homework help or . . . and maybe poor people have more stress and actually DO regret having kids - but I just don't see it.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
And speaking of finishing, I have this friend, no really, who was with this guy who splooged on her twice (bc coitus interruptus is such an effective method of contraception). She said there was more splooge than she had ever seen in her life and she asked why. He said it was bc he was really horny. Now, I can understand one gigantic sploogisode,(ie no jerking off or having sex recently), but two big ole floods in an hour? What the dilly-o? And does ths mean the orgasm was more intense, or lasted longer? I know there is a correlation between coming and splooiging for men, but I also know it is not direct (ie a guy can come without sploging and vice versa, though its not as common, though one guy I was with used to have multiples all the time with one splooge per- hey I am good). So 'splain

(note I may or may not know the answer to this but really feel like discussing sex today for some reason)

Vitamin E. If you eat a lot of vitamin E, for some wierd reason, you seem more horned up all the time and the "volume per shot" goes up substantially.

S(still don't know the medical reason for this, but its a fact)D

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by evenodds
El Mariachi is the movie Robert Rodriguez made prior to the Spy Kids movies (and Dusk Until Dawn, among others).

I am glad to see him returning to non-kids movies.

Is that the same movie as Desperado with Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek? Or have I mis-named the movie? Or just otherwise confused?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by leagleaze
I get dumb questions about kids too. All the time. I adore children, but I have very mixed feelings about being a mother.

It's interesting that you say that. I have always wanted to be a mother, but have lately started to realize that I am not that crazy about kids. I do like babies, even when they cry, and when I see them or think about them, I have this very primal nurturing instinct and a strong craving to satisfy it. Ultimately, though, I fear my relationship with my child won't be as satisfying as I've imagined/fantasized.

I always joked that I got a puppy as a trial run for having a kid (and I never meant that to trivialize the experience of child-rearing). But now I'm starting to think that it's a substitute. Taking good care of her satisfies that nurturing instinct to a degree. In return, the dog is reliably cute, sweet, obedient, entertaining, and adoring. My poor kid wouldn't be able to compete!

r("Why can't you be more like your sister?" "Mom, she's a dog.")p

[evenodds]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Is that the same movie as Desperado with Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek?

Yes.