Meh.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
But matching of what? Is it an "I am looking for this and I am offering this" type of thing or is it "you answered 30 out of 50 questions the same as this person so go forth and date."

They use database style software. You could do a search for a man looking for a woman, who is 30-40, has at least a college degree, is at least 5'10", weighs at least 175 lbs., blond with green eyes, etc. There are fields with specific kinds of interests ("My ideal first date is [fill in the blank from their trite pull-down menu of choices]"). Then there's a place where people can write free-form and usually something about your favorite movies, books, hiking, kayaking, Star Trek and other hobbies.

You post your profile and people can conduct searches and find you and write you an email (or wink or whatever). You can search based on your criteria, however broad or narrow, and see what comes up. If you think the picture and profile seems like the kind of person you might like, you reply. Then you evaluate further. You can't really tell much before any face-to-face meeting except obvious eliminations.

You learn to read between the lines if you do it a few times.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Translation: Gatti is a good match for spinster cat-lovers.

Indeed. eHarmony didn't think to include that on their precious list of questions. Once they do, their little internet scam will skyrocket.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Translation: Gatti is a good match for spinster cat-lovers.

Cat-loving spinsters who want to fuck married men.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
What haven't you done?

This is a very good point. I have crossed just about everything off my list so I am taking submissions for things to add to it.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Why won't you cocksuckers answer me?

ABBA(TM)Kiss

I don't know what the questionnaires look like.

[Jack Manfred]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Why won't you cocksuckers answer me?

ABBA(TM)Kiss

On match.com, when you sign up, you tell them your age, height, build, whether you smoke or drink, what line of work you're in, your ethnicity, religion, level of education, martial status, whether you have children, plan to have children, whether you have pets, like pets, whether you exercise, what types of exercise you do, and your interests. You also say what you're looking for in a match. Then it matches you up along those categories, so that the first match for someone looking for a slender brunette teetotaller doesn't wind up with paigow.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Hello, Gentle Reader –

I’m writing you today to tell you the story of Gus.

Borrow someone else's cat and make Gus watch you as you pet him and feed him delicious treats.

If that doesn't work, get a less-stupid cat.

TM

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't know what the questionnaires look like.

I would consider you more of an Experienced and Talented Dome Polisher than a cocksucker, FWIW.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
They use database style software. You could do a search for a man looking for a woman, who is 30-40, has at least a college degree, is at least 5'10", weighs at least 175 lbs., blond with green eyes, etc. There are fields with specific kinds of interests ("My ideal first date is [fill in the blank from their trite pull-down menu of choices]"). Then there's a place where people can write free-form and usually something about your favorite movies, books, hiking, kayaking, Star Trek and other hobbies.

You post your profile and people can conduct searches and find you and write you an email (or wink or whatever). You can search based on your criteria, however broad or narrow, and see what comes up. If you think the picture and profile seems like the kind of person you might like, you reply. Then you evaluate further. You can't really tell much before any face-to-face meeting except obvious eliminations.

You learn to read between the lines if you do it a few times.

But the truth is, you only really look at the pictures, and make all your decisions that way. Or at least, that's what I used to do.

[Beelzebubba]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Borrow someone else's cat and make Gus watch you as you pet him and feed him delicous treats.

If that doesn't work, get a less-stupid cat.

TM

One word: BB gun.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Cat-loving spinsters who want to fuck married men.

Cat-loving spinsters who want to fuck married men with children.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
But the truth is, you only really look at the pictures, and make all your decisions that way. Or at least, that's what I used to do.

I definitely cut things off at the email or phone stage with guys who looked attractive to me but I could tell were not personality matches for me. It's very not-fun for me to waste time out on a date with someone I find utterly boring, or cheap and insulting a la GWNC's experience.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Cat-loving spinsters who want to fuck married men with children.

Touche.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Cat-loving spinsters who want to fuck married men with children.

Though I've never completed it, I would presume that eHarmony's questionnaire would capture the latter part of this, so it's probably for the best.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
On match.com, when you sign up, you tell them your age, height, build, whether you smoke or drink, what line of work you're in, your ethnicity, religion, level of education, martial status, whether you have children, plan to have children, whether you have pets, like pets, whether you exercise, what types of exercise you do, and your interests. You also say what you're looking for in a match. Then it matches you up along those categories, so that the first match for someone looking for a slender brunette teetotaller doesn't wind up with paigow.

Nota bene

I've lied about more than one of these catagories on the internet.