Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Well, sure, nobody wants to be mistaken for Flower.

You must look and feel fabulous.

Some days I do, some days I don't. I'm just glad that the running only part is going to end on Sunday, and I can do other things afterwards.

The half marathon was my stated goal when I started all of this, and running three to five miles every other day and more on weekends has gotten boring.

But I want to keep going until I'm superhot and feel in awesome shape (I'm a slow, slow runner, I'd like that to change). I'm going to aim to do a Sprint triathalon in two months, aiming to do an Olympic by mid summer, so I get to bike and swim now instead of just running.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Some days I do, some days I don't. I'm just glad that the running only part is going to end on Sunday, and I can do other things afterwards.

The half marathon was my stated goal when I started all of this, and running three to five miles every other day and more on weekends has gotten boring.

But I want to keep going until I'm superhot and feel in awesome shape (I'm a slow, slow runner, I'd like that to change). I'm going to aim to do a Sprint triathalon in two months, aiming to do an Olympic by mid summer, so I get to bike and swim now instead of just running.

I admire your ability to stick with running. I've tried it about three times in recent years and I just can't do it. I don't know what to do with my arms. They're flipping, they're flopping, and I'm hating every minute of it.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Ugh. There's a guy here in Houston with lots of money and a sense that because he's bought a table or given a buttload to whatever gala he happens to be attending, that gives him carte blanche to use the microphone.

A few years ago, he single handedly ruined a live auction because he grabbed the mic and started professing his love to his then-girlfriend who happened to have been the chair of the event. People got so bored that they all left their tables and started hitting the bar again, missing the live auction.

A few months ago, in another long winded, boring speech he proposed to his new girlfriend at one of the bigger galas in town. She accepted, but as far as I know they haven't set a date.

My stories are too long so I'm only telling one:

My BF and I have known each other for a number of years. We were close platonic friends and then a few years ago, he became available. We were hanging out, inching slowly towards romantic/sexual involvement. I made plans for us to go out to dinner and a concert with my former housemate, J, who had just moved back to town after several years away. They knew each other from back when I lived with J but hadn't seen each other for years.*

After dinner and the show, we went back to my house for some dessert and drinks. I asked BF to drive J home, which he did because he's a nice guy.

A few days later, J calls me up and says she wants to have another concert-with-dessert afterwards get-together again at her house. She invites me and wants to invite BF. She asks me for his email and asks me a few questions about his romantic status but in a way that I don't pick up on her intentions.

A few days after that, BF calls me up and tells me that she has written this email to him and she's said that she's very attracted to him, how much the kiss on the cheek good night meant to her, etc. I tell him if he's interested, he should go for it. He says he will call her and tell her that he just wants to be friends.

A few more days pass by and BF and I end up finally sleeping together. We're both a little freaked out about risking ruining our friendship but happy. A day or so after that, I have dinner with J. After dinner, she is telling me about her plans for this upcoming get-together and whom she has invited. I express surprise that she's invited so many people and she says, Well, I didn't want it to be too uncomfortable with [BF]...did he talk to you about me? I, misunderstanding, say yes, he did. Fairly quickly, I realize she thinks she has this hot date with him and I'm the third wheel. Not knowing how else to explain it, I blurt out that we had just slept together, blah, blah, blah, TMI. By now, we are back at my house. J goes into the bathroom and stays in there for really looong time. She comes out composed but is clearly thrown off by this turn of events.

After she leaves, I call BF and tell him what happened. We brace ourselves and by the next day get some rather psychoish emails uninviting us to the get-together and implying that we have a twisted relationship.

I saw her once after that when she returned some things she'd borrowed before she left town again for good. It was clear that she felt like she was not in the wrong and we've never spoken since then.

*The last time BF remembers seeing J, she actually demanded at 9 pm on a Saturday night that I made BF and then-SO leave our house because she was studying and we were listening to some music in the LR. That was also very uncomfortable since we weren't making a lot of noise and they were about to leave anyway. She just looked like a raging psycho-bitch, which she could be sometimes.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ironweed
I tend to suppress my memories of the most disturbing ones. Which, coincidentally, all seem to involve GA happy hours gone wrong. I am an infallibly smoove operator at all other times.

Except when called on to remember someone's name. I often find myself at the point where, having met someone several times, it is no longer possible to ask to be reminded of their name again. This is the point at which, if I am lucky enough to be with my darling wife, and luckier still that she has not met the person yet, I will stand like a mannequin when it is time to introduce the acquaintance to her. This is our universal signal that I have forgotten the acquaintance's name. Usually, my darling wife catches on quickly, introduces herself and the name is revealed with a minimum of suspicion on the acquaintance's part. Other times, especially when I have done something to anger my darling wife in the immediate (or distant - who can remember?) past, she will introduce herself and then helpfully add that "[ironweed] forgot your name, you know." Then we all laugh. Ha ha ha.

I am just like you! I think I have blanked out most uncomfortable moments. I also forget everyone's name, which is unfortunate because I remember faces, so I know that I know someone, I just don't know what their name is. This happens with people I've met several times.

I am not like you in that I don't have a darling wife. Which is unfortunate, because my apartment could really use some unpaid labor.

I remember one uncomfortable moment (more so for the witnesses than for me). I dislike public speaking very much. I had to give a presentation to my class in undergrad on something or other -- I think it was a Sylvia Plath poem, something about Daddy being a Nazi. Uplifting. Anyhoo, I had miscarried about a week or so before the presentation, and it was not particularly easy and I had had to be hospitalized for a few days. So I am still kind of recovering and unsteady. I get up to do my little presentation and about halfway through I feel like I have to sit down. So I announce that I have to sit down and then I wail "I just lost my BAYBEEEEEEE!!!" and start bawling. This was a summer course and I wasn't particularly close to anyone in the class and no one knew what to do. Other than get me a chair, which someone did. And the prof awkwardly tried to make me feel better.

The next day I gave the presentation and it was fine. Grace under pressure.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Come on, everybody has an "I got so drunk my freshman year I threw up all over my big crush" story. Haven't you done anything embarrassing since then?

One of my college roommates got wildly drunk and shat in my closet, thinking it was the bathroom. But that was embarrassing for him, and just foul for me.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
One of my college roommates got wildly drunk and shat in my closet, thinking it was the bathroom. But that was embarrassing for him, and just foul for me.

You would think with that common background, you, Hank and Penske could get along better.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
One of my college roommates got wildly drunk and shat in my closet, thinking it was the bathroom. But that was embarrassing for him, and just foul for me.

When I was in graduate school, one of my boyfriend's roommates had, I thought, accidentally neglected to flush the toilet, when in fact he had deliberately left in unflushed so that his other roommates could admire his digestive prowess.

That was embarrassing and foul for me, yet his only emotion was disappointment that I was the only one who had seen his achievement and I did not even have the courtesy to appreciate it as such.

This same roommate had seen me naked after I had fallen out of the shower (yes, I was drunk) and could not get up. I had taken the shower curtain with me. It was about as effective in preventing my fall as TM's bouncer friend.

[nononono]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
One of my college roommates got wildly drunk and shat in my closet, thinking it was the bathroom. But that was embarrassing for him, and just foul for me.

Some guy did that in my freshman dorm, only right out in the common hall. He also peed on the soda machine, also while drunk. He didn't seem uncomfotable about either situation. More proud. Pretty sure he became in investment banker, if anyone finds that alluring.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Some days I do, some days I don't. I'm just glad that the running only part is going to end on Sunday, and I can do other things afterwards.

The half marathon was my stated goal when I started all of this, and running three to five miles every other day and more on weekends has gotten boring.

But I want to keep going until I'm superhot and feel in awesome shape (I'm a slow, slow runner, I'd like that to change). I'm going to aim to do a Sprint triathalon in two months, aiming to do an Olympic by mid summer, so I get to bike and swim now instead of just running.

I'm going to try to post this in a nicer way than it was posted to me.

In the interest of fairness here....

While that is great that you have gotten in shape, and that you are setting and reaching goals; and that you want to inform the board of your progress, please stop referring to yourself as hot. I've seen your irl blog/pictures. I'm sorry but you cannot be construed as hot. I am sure you are in shape and that's terrific. But I've seen you post about "becoming hot" over and over and like how it is getting old when I did it too...pot/kettle.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Okay. We have just finished watching all 3 seasons of Arrested development. My family is of the opinion that George Michael is the best written character. The others are great, but versions of people seen elsewhere- GM is pretty unique.

All of us agree that the various chicken dances are the best repeating scenes, and that Lindsey's is the single best.

Finally, it is nice to know that a former Seinfeld actor can take on a different role and be believable in the role.

He's good, but not even close to GOB.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
I'm going to try to post this in a nicer way than it was posted to me.

In the interest of fairness here....

While that is great that you have gotten in shape, and that you are setting and reaching goals; and that you want to inform the board of your progress, please stop referring to yourself as hot. I've seen your irl blog/pictures. I'm sorry but you cannot be construed as hot. I am sure you are in shape and that's terrific. But I've seen you post about "becoming hot" over and over and like how it is getting old when I did it too...pot/kettle.

You deserve whatever you get on this, sweetheart. Not only could RT be "construed" as hot, but she never asked to be rated, never invited you to look at her pictures, and never acted like other people say she's hot all the time. Furthermore, I am also sure that nearly everyone here will agree that RT is the epitome of a person whose inner beauty makes her that much more attractive on the outside. And for the avoidance of doubt, RT is also beautiful on the outside.

So shut the fuck up.

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I am just like you! I think I have blanked out most uncomfortable moments.

Here's one that just came* to me:

Some of you may remember the friend of mine who came to me for a loan because he had online-gambled all of his money away and, unbeknownst to his darling wife, was about to be evicted from their apartment. He has been a friend of mine for years, and we have, in our wilder days, gotten up to various seedy and unsavoury sorts of things that it would probably be detrimental to have widely known. But I have always trusted him.

As we sat in the nearly empty bar where he asked me to loan him five grand to prevent his entire life from unraveling, he started crying. This was uncomfortable enough, though I told him I would do whatever I could. But then, and I am not sure how it came up, he said something like "I could just blackmail you for the money anyway." That remark hung in the air just a beat too long before we both decided it was just a bit of gallows humor.

I don't confide in this person the way I used to. And I am still waiting for my money (apparently there will be a tax refund or some such). I don't care if I ever get it back, to tell the truth, because we are not going to be friends the way we were no matter what happens. It's a shame.

*I know there is a "just like me/comes from giving head joke" on the way, and it better be good.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ironweed
And I am still waiting for my money (apparently there will be a tax refund or some such). I don't care if I ever get it back, to tell the truth, because we are not going to be friends the way we were no matter what happens.

Do any good stories come from lending a friend money? (other than money to help them get laid)

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
This isn't uncomfortable -- more embarassing. Actually, who am I kidding? It was both.

One time, many years ago (also at a summer associate event), we were hanging out after the event at one of the 80s clubs. It was late and I was a little drunk. Anyway, I'm talking to this one summer who is kind of cute, and her friend who didn't work at the firm, but just met us out. Her friend is smoking hot. We're getting along great and since I'm so suave bolla, I'm pretty sure I'm in there.

It had been raining and I had on a long, black coat. Not a rain coat, but light and water resistant. I'm deep into my best, laid-back, cool act. The place has stadium seating around the dance floor and I was sitting next to her, maybe 4 or 5 steps up from the floor. I start to get up to go the bathroom or get a drink or something and I don't realize that my coat tail is under my left foot. Everyone is dancing, but there is space around the edges of the dance floor. It wasn't packed.

So I get up, and take the first step with my right foot, but I can't finish it because I'm standing on the coat that I'm wearing with the other foot. If I were on a level surface, no big deal. But I'm already out there in mid air, so I fall.

I'm not talking about any old fall. I mean I started to fall, cleared the steps, but tried to keep myself from hitting the ground, so I sort of stumbled for maybe 8 feet, alternating hand, elbow and knee plants before absolutely completely losing it. Everyone is watching and I swear to God I was moving in slow motion. Right before I completely bite it, I reach up, lunging and grabbing for something, anything to keep myself off the ground. Unfortunately, I grab the bouncer around the mid-section and sort of just hang there for a second with my legs sprawled out behind me, stunned.

As I pull myself up, I say to him, "Was this half as bad for you as it was for me?" He says, "What do you think?" I glance back over my shoulder and everyone is in tears, laughing their asses off, hot girl included. Needless to say, I was most definitely not in there. Humiliations, galore. And I was the butt of every joke for the next however many weeks.

Good times.

That story just made me very happy. I love watching other people trip. I don't know why, but I think it's the funniest thing in the world.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I am just like you! I think I have blanked out most uncomfortable moments. I also forget everyone's name, which is unfortunate because I remember faces, so I know that I know someone, I just don't know what their name is. This happens with people I've met several times.
.

222. I blame the booze. And drugs.