Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
When I was in graduate school, one of my boyfriend's roommates had, I thought, accidentally neglected to flush the toilet, when in fact he had deliberately left in unflushed so that his other roommates could admire his digestive prowess.

That was embarrassing and foul for me, yet his only emotion was disappointment that I was the only one who had seen his achievement and I did not even have the courtesy to appreciate it as such.

This same roommate had seen me naked after I had fallen out of the shower (yes, I was drunk) and could not get up. I had taken the shower curtain with me. It was about as effective in preventing my fall as TM's bouncer friend.

Tha bathroom in my freshman dorm had a "display stall" where people could drop especially interesting/voluminous/whatever deuces and they would remain safe from flushing.

Needless to say, the RA's were not amused.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Tha bathroom in my freshman dorm had a "display stall" where people could drop especially interesting/voluminous/whatever deuces and they would remain safe from flushing.

Needless to say, the RA's were not amused.

Are you the one who posted the pic of a dump with undigested corn or is that just another site? that is so nasty.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
I'm going to try to post this in a nicer way than it was posted to me.

In the interest of fairness here....

While that is great that you have gotten in shape, and that you are setting and reaching goals; and that you want to inform the board of your progress, please stop referring to yourself as hot. I've seen your irl blog/pictures. I'm sorry but you cannot be construed as hot. I am sure you are in shape and that's terrific. But I've seen you post about "becoming hot" over and over and like how it is getting old when I did it too...pot/kettle.

Newbitch please, she's RT. She can post what she likes.

Ad(I love Friday)L

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
My father found me pased out on a tile floor wrapped up in a tapestry. His buddy, a doc, said, "Seriously, make sure you have a hepatitis shot."

The most embarrassing moment in college is probably one you don't even know about. I was at a gf's house in college and overheard her telling a couple close friends - women I was friends with - what we did/how I liked it/intimate details. I confronted one of the audience later and asked her whether that kind of disclosure was common. She laughed and said "I know more about you in bed than you'd ever want to know." She did not hint any of it was sexy. More clinical.

I was woke up one morning with a boyfriend, having only had sex with him for the first time the night before. My phone rang at about 8:30 and I hit the speaker phone button. On the line? Three of my best friends conference calling. The first question out of one of their mouths? "We want details. Length and width."

I was sorry I'd opted for speaker phone.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
Are you the one who posted the pic of a dump with undigested corn or is that just another site? that is so nasty.

Um, no, that was the scat site where you're the mod. Duh!

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I was woke up one morning with a boyfriend, having only had sex with him for the first time the night before. My phone rang at about 8:30 and I hit the speaker phone button. On the line? Three of my best friends conference calling. The first question out of one of their mouths? "We want details. Length and width."

I was sorry I'd opted for speaker phone.

OMG! How embarrassing! I can't believe you had friends who said "width" when they meant "girth."

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
I'm going to try to post this in a nicer way than it was posted to me.

In the interest of fairness here....

While that is great that you have gotten in shape, and that you are setting and reaching goals; and that you want to inform the board of your progress, please stop referring to yourself as hot. I've seen your irl blog/pictures. I'm sorry but you cannot be construed as hot. I am sure you are in shape and that's terrific. But I've seen you post about "becoming hot" over and over and like how it is getting old when I did it too...pot/kettle.

You're really lucky that I'm a better person than you are.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
You're really lucky that I'm a better person than you are.

And that Flinty is slacking on bringing his invention to market.

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
How was she in the wrong? Neither of you gave her any indication that you were together. She sent him an email where she expressed interest and apparently he didn't let her know what was going on after receiving it. She specifically asked you his "romantic status" and you presumably told her that he had none, knowing, as you said, that you were "inching slowly towards romantic/sexual involvement." Then, after she feels like she has made her intentions apparent, out of the blue, you tell her you fucked him.

TM

Eh, I left out some details some of which are outable, but what the hell.

He was married and his wife, who was my close friend, died from cancer. My friend didn't like my roommate and tried to avoid her. When I told J that my friend had died, she pissed me off by replying "She was a real piece of work."

When she subsequently asked me about BF, what she specifically asked was how long it had been since his wife had died. I answered it and I sounded tense (as per her email). She may have thought it was because there was possibly something going between us but really I was mad because I remembered what she'd said about my friend when she died. This all took place a few weeks before the first anniversary of my friend's death. This was a source of some of the ambivalence about moving the relationship forward with BF and me.

My roommate said in the email to the BF, or the subsequent one where she uninvited us (I can't remember because I didn't see the first until she'd sent the second one) that she could see that there was something going on between BF and me.

I didn't and don't blame her for making a play for him. What pissed me off was the way she behaved like we had wronged her afterwards.

Part of the fault was with BF. In her email (which, again, I didn't read until after it all blew up), she said he should call her if he was interested and if he didn't call, she would understand. He decided to call her to talk, which she apparently took to mean he was interested, no matter what words he used. In trying to let her down easy, he gave her the impression that he was interested.

The roommate and I lived together for a long time and I'd seen her 1) escalate fairly minor things in gigantic fights and 2) really overreact to the prospect of romance. Once, she had made a lunch date with a guy. Before the date, she went out and bought an expensive evening dress to wear on a subsequent date with him. Then at their first-date lunch, she found out he was married.

And it's a story about being uncomfortable, which I was right after I blurted out that I'd had sex with BF, when I wasn't really feeling ready to announce it to anyone, never mind under those circumstances.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by ironweed
Here's one that just came* to me:

Some of you may remember the friend of mine who came to me for a loan because he had online-gambled all of his money away and, unbeknownst to his darling wife, was about to be evicted from their apartment. He has been a friend of mine for years, and we have, in our wilder days, gotten up to various seedy and unsavoury sorts of things that it would probably be detrimental to have widely known. But I have always trusted him.

As we sat in the nearly empty bar where he asked me to loan him five grand to prevent his entire life from unraveling, he started crying. This was uncomfortable enough, though I told him I would do whatever I could. But then, and I am not sure how it came up, he said something like "I could just blackmail you for the money anyway." That remark hung in the air just a beat too long before we both decided it was just a bit of gallows humor.

I don't confide in this person the way I used to. And I am still waiting for my money (apparently there will be a tax refund or some such). I don't care if I ever get it back, to tell the truth, because we are not going to be friends the way we were no matter what happens. It's a shame.

*I know there is a "just like me/comes from giving head joke" on the way, and it better be good.

Here's one that just came to me, too!

I sometimes post on this board, and there is often discussion of relative "hotness". This one woman kept going on and on about how hot she was and who was oogling her at Starbucks, and so, finally, someone checks her out IRL. Well, you can guess the result. He even exagerates it a fair bit to avoid hurting her feelings.

Then, after that, she keeps going on and on, just won't shut up. Deeply embarassing.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I was woke up one morning with a boyfriend, having only had sex with him for the first time the night before. My phone rang at about 8:30 and I hit the speaker phone button. On the line? Three of my best friends conference calling. The first question out of one of their mouths? "We want details. Length and width."

I was sorry I'd opted for speaker phone.

My favorite is when a woman you're with forgets what she's saying and, describing a prior bf, says, "He was soooo huge... I almost couldn't handle it." The she catches herself and says "Oh, well... uh... you're solid... You're big. I like yours, but his was just... freakish."

The other funny one is when a woman - often drunk - goes on effusively about how size doesn't matter. She'd do just as well to grab a bullhorn and announce to all those present, "Tom, my bf - over there, getting a beer - is hung like a thimble."

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
And that Flinty is slacking on bringing his invention to market.

This is my most embarrasing moment ev-ahh. Boy are my cheeks red.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
My favorite is when a woman you're with forgets what she's saying and, describing a prior bf, says, "He was soooo huge... I almost couldn't handle it." The she catches herself and says "Oh, well... uh... you're solid... You're big. I like yours, but his was just... freakish."

This can't happen often -- conversations with current gfs about prior partners' penises.* I've never talked with someone I was with about other guy's penises. How is the guy you are currently with going to get the image of his gf having sex with someone else out of his head?


*unplanned alliteration. I would like to have worked "parade" into it somehow.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
My favorite is when a woman you're with forgets what she's saying and, describing a prior bf, says, "He was soooo huge... I almost couldn't handle it." The she catches herself and says "Oh, well... uh... you're solid... You're big. I like yours, but his was just... freakish."

The other funny one is when a woman - often drunk - goes on effusively about how size doesn't matter. She'd do just as well to grab a bullhorn and announce to all those present, "Tom, my bf - over there, getting a beer - is hung like a thimble."

I apparently once told my boyfriend that a guy I had had sex with while boyfriend and I were "on a break" could stay hard for a really really reaaaaallllly long time.

My boyfriend is still kind of pissed at me about it.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
This can't happen often -- conversations with current gfs about prior partners' penises.* I've never talked with someone I was with about other guy's penises. How is the guy you are currently with going to get the image of his gf having sex with someone else out of his head?


*unplanned alliteration. I would like to have worked "parade" into it somehow.

A parade of prior paramours prancing penises?