Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Glazed Ham
This past weekend I'm at a work Christmas party. Drunken partner with a bad toupee (this could be outable, except I'm fairly certain he doesn't realize its a bad toupee-or that all toupees are bad for that matter) corners me and engages me in idiotic small talk with his eyes fixated on my decolletage.

"Decolletage" is a great word.

Relax. If Bad Toupee Guy remembers anything, he won't be stupid enough to let you know that. And Para(mour)legal is likely to avoid you if she thinks that you know anything about it.

Like bilmore and BRC said, your best bet is to pretend that no one said anything to you, and if they did, you don't remember what they said. And you should also refrain from telling *anyone* what happened. That is too good a story to stay under wraps, and you damn sure don't want to be tied to it as the source.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Look at her with all new disrespect for doing a guy with a toupee.

I understand it's harder to tell it's a toupee when you put it on top of money.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Glazed Ham
FB:

I'm a new poster with a weird law firm question-no flames. Please.

This past weekend I'm at a work Christmas party. Drunken partner with a bad toupee (this could be outable, except I'm fairly certain he doesn't realize its a bad toupee-or that all toupees are bad for that matter) corners me and engages me in idiotic small talk with his eyes fixated on my decolletage. But worse than having to deal with his lecherousness and stale alcohol soaked breath was the fact that for some unknown reason he "confided in me" that he was having an affair with a 25 year old paralegal in our office and he thought he loved her but couldn't act on it because his wife would "cream" him in the divorce.

Other than extreme drunkenness I don't know why he graced me with this confession but now my dilemma is what do I do with this info and how do I look at this jerk (or the paralegal) with a straight face again?

And of course I am in the midst of a project with him, although thankfully have avoided him so far today.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attend a *deposition* with him.

No matter what.

[evenodds]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Music Poll: Tortured singer-songwriter edition.

Elliott Smith vs. Damien Rice. Judge based on their music please, not the fact that Elliott Smith killed himself recently.

And if I really like these guys, who else would I like?

I drove past a theater in Austin last weekend with a car full of people and saw the name Damien Rice on the marquee. No one could think of a single song or identifying characteristic. That I was able to label him a singer put me far ahead of the game.

The winner, by far, is Elliott Smith.

[Not Me]

Originally posted by bilmore
I understand it's harder to tell it's a toupee when you put it on top of money.

Actually, it bumps the toupee up 2 looks categories if you put it on top of money.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bilmore
I understand it's harder to tell it's a toupee when you put it on top of money.

Does it become completely flawless when the toupee is made of money?

TM

[ABBAKiss]

I was gone for a minute now I'm back again.

Anyway, are any of you kids in Charleston, South Carolina? If yes, PM me.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Not Bob
That is too good a story to stay under wraps, and you damn sure don't want to be tied to it as the source.

And you don't want to be the star witness at the trial in which the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Partner takes him for everything he's got (except maybe the rug)...

[Tyrone Slothrop]

So that the record is clear, I want to make clear that I did my little BCS rant before I saw this, and maybe before it was even posted. That is all. Carry on.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Phrases like "decolletage" lead me to believe you are pj, but I will respond anyway.

TM

Decolletage is a smashing word (not a "phrase", nimrod), but I actually tend to use "cleavage."

He's too drunk to be certain he said anything, so as far as you're concerned, if he or parabimbo inquires, of course he didn't.

However, if he fucking booze-breathes on your cleavage ever again, then I would give him a gentle reminder that, whatever his behavior (or not) with others, you certainly expect this particular aberration to never occur again.

And no, no amount of money can make up for a toupee.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Just wanted to let you all know.

I will try not to let it happen again.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Elvis Costello and the Attractions were good.

Nirvana sounded ok back in the day.

[Glazed Ham]

Thanks all. The almost unanimous (except for Not Me, who I assume was either being facetious or trollish or both) advice is well taken and I will repress the memory and hope the booze has dulled his, although his creepiness factor will remain at a record high. The thing I really don't understand is why a relatively attractive 25 year old woman would sink to his level. Do toupee wearers take them off prior to sex? Wouldn't they fall off if they don't? Ick, the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Originally posted by purse junkie
Decolletage is a smashing word (not a "phrase", nimrod), but I actually tend to use "cleavage."

I find "decolletage" conveys a certain sense of classy sexuality while "cleavage" sounds a little slutty. Something I would use for a Hooters gal or one of those airheads with a low cut shirt selling jaegermeister shots at bars.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Glazed Ham
Something I would use for ... one of those airheads with a low cut shirt selling jaegermeister shots at bars.

This brings back fantastic memories of my cocktail serving days. I recall one St. Patrick's day when I made $700 selling shots of Jag. Ah, those were the days.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Glazed Ham


I find "decolletage" conveys a certain sense of classy sexuality while "cleavage" sounds a little slutty.

Classy in a Jackie Collins kind of way.