Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
The question is whether the women of the FB will put their yoni where their mouth is, and go have unprotected off-the-pill sex with an Indian man this week. And report back with detailed results, including reports of slight swelling for either participant.

Namaste. My name is Babu and I am looking for -- how do you say? -- old maid? Paigow, please give me a call. Namaste.



TM

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
You had me at "slight swelling."

Isn't that what Sidd said to you?

[notcasesensitive]

This discussion reminds me of today's Dear Abby.*

With respect to the male contraceptive, perhaps Abby should have advised that this fellow look into it --

DEAR ABBY: I am an attractive and intelligent woman from India. I have high moral standards. I live with my parents in America and have a good job. Last year some relatives told me that for the past two years my parents have secretly been planning my wedding to a man named "Rashid." I have never met Rashid because he lives in India, nor have my parents said one word to me about this marriage plan.
I have learned that Rashid is divorced with four small children. I have also learned that he thinks he's God's gift to women. He has a high school diploma and runs a small business that my family owns. He is a womanizer who lives with his "secretary," but tells everyone she is "only a friend." (She's expecting his twins.) He has told everyone at the business that he's going to America to marry the owner's daughter. His secretary has told everyone that I was "too old" for him, and that she's the one he really wants.

My parents are unaware of all these facts and think Rashid would be a good husband. I have no interest in planning a future with a man of loose morals. I want my parents to stop planning this marriage. I want to date other men, but my parents have discouraged me from doing so. What should I do? -- WANTING MY FREEDOM IN THE USA

DEAR WANTING MY FREEDOM: I don't know what is holding you back. You should be sharing these important facts with your parents instead of me. They may think Rashid is a prize, but he sounds more like a booby prize to me.

Four children from a previous marriage and two on the way are a lot to take on, let alone to swallow. Although there have been many successful arranged marriages, this one seems doomed from the outset.

If your parents still insist on this marriage, you may have to emancipate yourself from them.
(linky - http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/)



*yes, I still read Dear Abby daily, and yes, the daughter's advice totally sucks. not that Abby was coming out with any real gems towards the end of her reign either though.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
stuff

Atticus may or may not be hot, but today he has been quite (a) clever and (b) funny. Gold star!


(confidential to whomever: this is not a non-post - it is a suck-up-to-Atticus post (tm), first employed, I believe, by dtb)

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I understand leagl. I too, have been seduced by those hot sperm filled turkey basters and then woken up the next morning and said "good god, what have I done?". I understand completely.


(please don't hit me or anything)

Not to worry. I'm sure you have high standards, and so long as the sperm-filled turkey baster was really hot (like, hot as having a fever of 103, to work in a Canadian band reference) all the sperm in it would have been dead. You were safe.

[Gattigap]

It's apparent that recent snows in the Pac West have contributed to both slow news days, and to particularly dweebish pranks. [spree: some fool chose to wrap his host's apartment, and all of its contents, in aluminum foil.]



Not sure why he chose foil, unless the local Safeway was running a special on Reynolds Wrap, or perhaps he was going for an early Trekkie look.

In any event, I'm sure that Thom would be suitably horrified.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
No time, but I'll be happy to call the Dell customer support center and talk dirty to whoever answers the phone.

How about visiting a St. Louis gas station?

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
How about visiting a St. Louis gas station?

Man, was that a dumb thing for her to say...

[Atticus Grinch]

Edited: Ah, forget it. I couldn't make it funny enough despite multiple edits.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Man, was that a dumb thing for her to say...

No kidding. It made her sound as crazy as a drunken Indian.

[dtb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
(confidential to whomever: this is not a non-post - it is a suck-up-to-Atticus post (tm), first employed, I believe, by dtb)

Your score:

Content -- 100% correct

Hyphen and comma usage -- exemplary.

A gold star for you too, missy!

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by dtb
Your score:

Content -- 100% correct

Hyphen usage -- exemplary.

A gold star for you too, missy!

What do I need to do to earn a gold star?

-- Seeking Positive Reinforcement

[Fugee]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Apparently, some huge percentage of women wear the wrong bra size. Do you? Measure and find out:

I wore the wrong bra size for years. I wore a band size 4 inches too big and a cup one size too small. Then I went to Nordstroms looking for a new bra. The salesclerk looked at the bras I had and ventured her opinion that they were not the right size. So I got a professional fitting there and she was right.

I still can't get over the fact that the correct band size is really really tight.

What's with all the hating on BnB???

[str8outavannuys]

Poll:

How long do you believe the average woman's period runs, from first visible signs to last.

I'd never be so forward as to ask anyone to reveal such a personal stat about themselves; I'm just curious as to what people believe to be the average.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Fugee
So I got a professional fitting there and she was right.

Please describe. For me. And leagl.