Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[Atticus Grinch]

The Shriners are famous for their work with crippled children and young burn victims. Not to be outdone, the Rotary Club is trying to corner the market on "kids raised to believe they're chickens".

"He'd keep his hands in a chickenlike fashion"? WTF? I guess Belle & Sebastian were off by one consonant.

Heard tell the guy goes apeshit at one whiff of a KFC, but enjoys a good McNugget. Weird that.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I remember when SS was in 8th grade. He got caught with little Sally in his garage. She was a SPED girl, and he had her top off, bra too! He had convinced her she'd drooled on it. Well sally's mom was fit to be tied. SS would have gone to juvie except he agreed to an order not to talk to any females with IQ below 85.

I don't know if the restriction was limited to Canada, or maybe expired. It's been 4 years.

but anyway nfh, you may have narced him out here.

Are you drunk again? Because I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
I've already been bitched out about posting his picture on the Adult Board (sorry Anne) because he didn't think any pictures from his "speedo days" were still on the net. But what the hell are you talking about?

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Enough with the carping.

Unless it leads to coitus.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Are you drunk again? Because I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
I've already been bitched out about posting his picture on the Adult Board (sorry Anne) because he didn't think any pictures from his "speedo days" were still on the net. But what the hell are you talking about?

Oh nfh, don't you worry! Just if men with badges ask about SS, you say you never heard of him. It'll be a game! Okay?

[Atticus Grinch]

I think the below post from the PB captures the essence of board persona development. I repost it here out of fear that it will be lost in the noise on PB, where presently we are debating the laughable assertion that homophobia is equally distributed between GOP and Democratic voter bases.

• The Intervention
  
  

  Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
  W/O me the board would not be.

  Ah, shit.
  
  Hank, I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would come so quickly. I've not had time to prepare you. Here, have a seat.
  
  Here's the thing. Most poster personas lead lives of quiet desperation, where their meager contributions to the fray get slapped down, laughed at, or worst, ignored. They slink away from the community until their self-esteem has recovered sufficiently to bear more punishment. Think Not Me.
  
  There's a small group of posters, though, who through some combination of wit, smarts, talent or simply moronic bullheadedness break through the noise barrier and soar above it for some period of time. You've had your moment in the sun, and had time to spread your wings and see what you can do.
  
  The arc of the poster's career travels along a few signposts:
  
  1. Arrival on the scene. Usually it involves insulting Slave, picking a fight with Paigow, flirting with Fringe, or licking MR's butt. All risky moves, no doubt, and I can't remember which one you chose, but whatever- you're here.
  
  2. Ground in the persona. Obviously, scatalogical humor is your goal. The hit-miss ratio is imposing to many but not you, my friend. Don't listen to TM's shit about a plus/minus ratio. When you swing for the fences, one can't be held to some Mendoza line as a barometer of success, right?
  
  3. Get props from the peers. It's rare, sure, but from the right person they can be golden. This is the kind of thing that you'll talk to your grandkids about it someday. Hell, do it today, if you want.
  
  4. Hit, and struggle through, your blue period Sometimes the scatalogical is, well, just scatalogical. There are too many sample to choose from here, so let's just say that the little drinkie-poo turns the posting into poo too. Fortunately, we're all glad that those days of involuntary confinement at Trembling Hills paid off, and though it appears that you've fallen off the wagon every other day or so, at least your wagon has a ladder to which you can hang on, get dragged for a few yards, and eventually pull yoursef back up.
  
  5. Become your own catchphrase. The truest sign that You've Arrived. Sure, it might be unfortunate for your name catchphrase to carry connotations of mental instability, but it could be worse. At least you're not the name of a cable soft porn series.
  
  Unfortunately, the shooting star too often leads to delusions of grandeur, which takes us to ...
  
  6. Lose all tethering to reality, as self worth ascends like a blimp. And here we are. Last person who felt that the board could not possibly continue without em was Paigow.
  
  You've noticed what's happened in that case, right? She's disappeared, and now become a mere figment of Penske's imagination, and there are few worse hells than that.
  
  So, even though the maneuver may be challenging, jump back over that shark. Find that humility you left on the floor, pick up the broken trumpet and play a few notes, and get back into the game.
  
  Gattigap

Original post with links.

To this, I can only add in my humble fashion:

Such is the role of poetry. It unveils, in the strict sense of the word. It lays bare, under a light which shakes off torpor, the surprising things which surround us and which our senses record mechanically.
--- Jean Cocteau

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
the PB, where presently we are debating the laughable assertion that homophobia is equally distributed between GOP and Democratic voter bases.

Atticus is probably the best litigator who posts here. He knows that winning an argument is initially about defining what the argument is, Atticus thus proposes the above, whereas, in fact, I started the argument and it was instead "does Sidd jump to conclusions re. bias?"

I post now only to say Bravo, atticus, bravo!

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I think the below post from the PB captures the essence of board persona development. I repost it here out of fear that it will be lost in the noise on PB, where presently we are debating the laughable assertion that homophobia is equally distributed between GOP and Democratic voter bases.

Does this mean that I have to vote for Mussolini because I ride the train everyday?

[tmdiva]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Does this mean that I have to vote for Mussolini because I ride the train everyday?

Every day. Only one word when used as an adjective.

tm
(standing in for dtb)

[pony_trekker]

I have to say that while I am not a Rush fan, their version of "Summertime Blues" kicks fucking ass!

[taxwonk]

Having reviewed this evening's posts, I have nothing to ass but this: I like pudding.

Ppppphhhhhtttttttttttt

-- Bill the Cat

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
I have to say that while I am not a Rush fan, their version of "Summertime Blues" kicks fucking ass!

For the Rush fans out there.

(spree: work-safe, but potentially embarrassing)

• {I}t's this stubborn determination -- the band has released 17 studio albums, four live discs and a handful of compilations -- that has earned Rush the kind of class-A obsessive lunatic fans that other bands dream about. Although chances are that fantasy wouldn't include a following made up mostly of grown men who are in love with comic books and video games.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Having reviewed this evening's posts, I have nothing to ass but this: I like pudding.

In the English sense, or in the Jello-brand sense?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
In the English sense, or in the Jello-brand sense?

Jell-O. Vanilla. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
[Quotation of Gatti's post omitted]

It spontaneously and unprovokedly occurred to me (after I'd left for the day) that the post that spurred Gatti's ego intervention with Hank was later asserted to be taken a bit out of context. It seems fair to mention that, because Hank's self-defense is credible here. I thought it was a funny jumping-off by Gatti anyway, but didn't mean to endorse the view that Hank was a megalomaniac. Based on that post, anyway.

In reality, Hank was merely taking credit for funding the board with his gambling addiction. Mea culpa.

etftypo

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
In the English sense, or in the Jello-brand sense?

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Or kick your feet, which is more sadistic but less dirty.