[hi less!!!]Where Everyone Knows Penske's Socks Don't Suck[/hi less!!!]!!!

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
You are focused on abs today.

I totally agree. When I bartended, this used to happen now and then. I don't think that anyone's status ever improved as a result. Quite the opposite.

Thurgreed's advice about unavailability is spot-on. I think it is universally true that if you have a kernel of interest in someone, and they become unavailable to a certain degree, that kernel grows into a whole ear of corn. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. And if there's no kernel to begin with, unavailability of the other person preserves that other person's dignity.

Lets see, I got a call from this cute six foot three organic farmer (right up my alley, right?). I was trying to nap so I let it go to voicemail. He called again during my nap. Then he called again and I answered and explained that I had sent him an email in response to his calls and then he called again! I let it go to voivcemiail. He went from definite possibility to possibly a definite stalker. Spanky, are you listening to me?>

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Spanks is far past the standard rules regarding familiarity and kernels/ears of interest.

He’s not even in the fucking same cornfield with the Serbian. She’s given him the Heisman in every conceivable gentle manner. There’s a certain point when even the most clueless man gets the hint. I think he’s either off the charts desperate or an egomaniac who cannot believe this woman is not interested in him.

The Serb was probably drunk and might have been a little more flirty than she’d otherwise be. Perhaps she just broke up with someone and just needed to feel the kick of giving out her number. Who knows? But what’s certain is, the next day, she all but told Spanks in plain English, “not interested.”

Take. The. Fucking. Hint. Already.

Spanky is clearly an egomaniac. He HAS to have his own board. HE is trying to turn the Big Board into the Spanky likes Woman Board. I created a monster.

This chick wasnt drunk. She didnt drink as I recall. She is a gold digger who probalby thought Spanky either didnt have enough or was too creeepy/stalky/slow to make it worth her while.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Mr Man and I will be there. But we are Old Hat.

WEll I have met both of y'all but that doesn't mean that I am not psyched. Are you guys starting a yahoo groupe to coordinate? I will be staying at the Insurgency Inn.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I have gotten seriously baked from brownies. It doesn't hit you as quickly as smoking. It just sort of creeps up on you and before you know it, you're totally stoned. A friend brought a batch to a party I threw years ago, and people talked about them for months. They were eagerly consumed by people who like to get high, but don't really like smoking.

What is the steam thing? I currently prefer a bong because I like the smoke water cooled for my comfort. I also heard that the water filters out a lot of the bad stuff, but I don't really buy that. Steaming sounds cool, though.

My brother had been telling me about these killer $40 ounces he's been getting lately. I was finally in his part of the state over the weekend. My pot smoking friends have moved away, and I don't really feel comfortable trying to score at work, so I've been completely dry lately. So I asked my brother to help me out. He showed up with these 2 skinny little toothpicks. wtf?

I've been blasted on brownies, but its never that realy crazy "almost-dosing" buzz you sometimes get if you smoke a lot. It comes on slow like you said, and the plateaus and fades, like X if you’re drinking too much. I enjoy that screwy mushroom-peak-like feel you can get from a few stiff bong hits.

Steaming is done either using some goofy home recipe involving charred coconut rinds or with a steaming machine. I don’t know how to do it. People have always set it up for me. It is insanely dangerous. You have no idea how much you’re injesting and when it hits, it slams you. The first time I did it I was delivering a truck full of kegs to a football game in college. I pulled the steam, ran out the door, jumped in the truck ans started driving. About halfway there I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. Paralysis. Sheer idiocy. Heart-pounding paranoia like the beginning of a huge mushroom high. I had to pull over, walk around the truck, compose myself and then drive. I believe the only thing that got me there was focusing on the Glad/Freedom Rider in “On the Road.” I think my heart and mind did maximum rpms for about an hour, after which I settled into a fantastic high. If they offer you the steam, take little sips. I’ve been very careful since then.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
If they offer you the steam, take little sips. I’ve been very careful since then.

It's a drink?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I pulled the steam, ran out the door, jumped in the truck ans started driving.

With such a promising start, I had high hopes for this story ending in some death or at least an explosion of some sort. Total letdown, dude.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Spanky's not exactly taking your advice:

"If I don't get a call from the Serbian by the end of the day tomorrow I am going to go to her place of employment and plead my case."

On the Dumb Move List, that is second only to the Swingers phone message session.

But you get what you deserve.

TM

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Steaming is done either using some goofy home recipe involving charred coconut rinds or with a steaming machine.

A steaming machine? Like for rice or broccoli? I don't get it.

[NotFromHere]

I can't tell if this guy was shot with a bb or pellet gun or whether the LA media can't tell the difference.

Will Britney be sued over BB shot?
Spears camp denies role, but photo agency claims bodyguards laughed.

LOS ANGELES - Pop star Britney Spears and her security staff denied knowledge Monday of the pellet-gun shooting of a photographer who was staking out a private baby shower for the singer in Malibu. But the paparazzi shooter who ended up shot may be suing the pop star, according to one report.

Lensman Brad Diaz said he was struck in the thigh by a pellet (or BB?) Saturday outside the mansion where the pregnant star was visiting and enjoying a party thrown for her. Diaz claimed one of Spears' security staff pulled the trigger, according to Ninemsn, which quoted The Sun newspaper.

"I can’t believe it. I was on a public street," Diaz reportedly said. He also said he plans to sue for "millions."

Kelly Davis of the X17 photo agency, which represents Diaz, told the New York Post's Page Six, "I was told by people at the scene that police officers talking to Britney's bodyguards were sort of standing around laughing at it."

"This was an uncalled for act of aggression. Brad has a bullet (or BB or pellet?) lodged deep into his skin," Davis noted.

Police said Diaz was treated with an adhesive bandage at the scene and described his injury as insignificant.

Oh he'll get millions for an insignificant injury, won't he NotBob?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Thurgreed's advice about unavailability is spot-on. I think it is universally true that if you have a kernel of interest in someone, and they become unavailable to a certain degree, that kernel grows into a whole ear of corn. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. And if there's no kernel to begin with, unavailability of the other person preserves that other person's dignity.

Translation: I don't drink coffee.

TM

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I am going to ACL this year. Do I get to meet Mr. RT and the Oddman?

balt and I will be there.

[lo han kuo]

Hi FBkiddies! Long-time lurker, first-time poster here (and no, I am not a Penske sock).

I have an interoffice relationship dilemma. I am not sure how helpful you all will be, but one never knows.

Here’s the 411, I am “of counsel” at a regional BIG firm in flyover land. Up for partnership next year. Recently I had two significant events happen at the firm.

My secretary of several years, who I have long suspected of being a pre-op trannie or drag queen (an observation that I had mentioned to a few other co-workers), but somewhat attractive in a “if I put those two possibilities out of my mind” sort of way, got fired. Deep sixxed. Canned. The immediate reason was that she completely fucked the pooch on a document distribution for another attorney, but one of the HR people had put her in the cross hairs a long time ago, so it was a good excuse. So she exits on bad terms, but without hating me.

Prior to the axe falling I started an interoffice romance with a summer. Did I mention I am married? And up for partner next year. OOOOPS! It is what it is and it’s all but over (a pure summer romance), but for the following issue that arose that ties the two events together.

Two weeks ago, I am out with Ms. Summer at a hole in the wall bar off the beaten track. Who walks in but Ex-Secretary. Busted. She comes over and the first thing she says is “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything”. Shit! Fuck! So she invites herself to sit down. Says she is meeting a GF. At this point I feel compelled to be nice to protect my ass. One thing leads to another, Ex-Sec orders shots, and then more shots and soon everyone is wasted. Ex-Sec’s friend calls and cancels, at which point, Ex-Sec suggests we go to Club XYZ where another friend of hers is a bartender. We feel sort of roped in so we play along.

As we are walking down the street, with plenty of other foot-traffic, out of the blue, Ex-Sec, somewhat drunkenly, stops and drops her skirt and panties and says, “see, all woman”. Shit! Fuck! The wrath of office gossip comes back to bite me on the ass, with plenty of aghast lookers-on to witness. We convince her to pull it together and we jump in a cab and head to club. In the cab Ex-Sec proceeds to flash the cab driver. Things are going down hill fast. We get to the club and Ex-Sec runs into some friends and starts talking. We say we are going to the bar for drinks and leaver her. As soon as we get to the bar, Summer and I look at each other and in unison say, “let’s ditch her”. Which we do.

About 3 days later, Summer gets a call at work. Ex-Sec. “We must have lost each other. I was soooo drunk. So, let’s get together again. Soon. And by the way, I would be up for a threesome”. Summer politely made up an excuse as to why she couldn’t talk just then and hung up. Since then Ex-Sec has called her a half dozen times seeking to get together, with either Summer or the two of us. Summer keeps putting her off, but its getting a little psycho-stalkerish. Summer is not into the woman loving thing (unfortunately) and neither of us is into the psycho Ex-Sec. Sexually or otherwise.

So the $64,000 question is:

How does Summer put an end to the calls without creating a dust-up that might expose our affair within the firm?

Help?

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
So my friend and I were bitching about work in a bar over drinks. 2 guys were listening in and asked why we hated our jobs. My friend goes "dude, were you eavesdropping?"
He says "no - you 2 seem to really hate your jobs."
I said, "so you were eavesdropping?"
Dude, "well we heard a little bit. Where do you work?"
My friend - "KMart."
Dude, "really? Which department?"
Me, "I work in the garden department, she works in housewares."
Dude, "really? What do I do with the stuff in my grass?"
Me, "dude, you totally need aluminum sulphate."
Dude, "wow, thanks. Which KMart do you work in, maybe I could stop by?"
My friend - "sure, come on by, we work in the Kirkland Kmart"
Dude, "cool" then he leaves.

So my friend goes, is there a Kmart in Kirkland? I said, I don't know. She said, how did you know about the aluminum sulphate thing. I said I'm not sure, but it might be that stuff they use to make bombs with.

Hahahahaha.

Hopefully he showed up at KMart asking for the woman who runs the garden department.

Dude, that is really funny. Reminds me of a story too.

My friend and I were at our regular bar, just relaxing when this girl and a guy sit next to us and start talking really really loudly, like they are trying to get our attention. The girl is kind of cute and it's pretty obvious that the guy is not-straight, or at least not with her. He talked on and on about porsches and bmw's, but was pretty effeminate too (NTTAWWT). Anyway, they keep talking louder and louder (I think they both kind of liked my friend), so finally we just butted into their conversation and made up inane questions, as they obviously needed some attention. After a little polite small talk, we got up to leave for dinner, and to throw the two pathetic fools a little bone of human attention, my friend made a white lie and pretended to hit on the dude. We laughed about it for days.

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
balt and I will be there.

So this is true? What is going on here? I thought he was a grouchy old married guy?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
So my friend and I were bitching about work in a bar over drinks. 2 guys were listening in and asked why we hated our jobs. My friend goes "dude, were you eavesdropping?"
He says "no - you 2 seem to really hate your jobs."
I said, "so you were eavesdropping?"
Dude, "well we heard a little bit. Where do you work?"
My friend - "KMart."
Dude, "really? Which department?"
Me, "I work in the garden department, she works in housewares."
Dude, "really? What do I do with the stuff in my grass?"
Me, "dude, you totally need aluminum sulphate."
Dude, "wow, thanks. Which KMart do you work in, maybe I could stop by?"
My friend - "sure, come on by, we work in the Kirkland Kmart"
Dude, "cool" then he leaves.

So my friend goes, is there a Kmart in Kirkland? I said, I don't know. She said, how did you know about the aluminum sulphate thing. I said I'm not sure, but it might be that stuff they use to make bombs with.

Hahahahaha.

Hopefully he showed up at KMart asking for the woman who runs the garden department.

You should date Spanky.

TM