Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I have a washboard stomach and a 14-inch cock*; and a face like Brad Pitt's. All you ladies want to do me.

*implant, but it was done so well that you can't tell the difference. Plus, it will never sag, even after I have kids!

Huh. Same result, but I had the reduction. NO, you can't see the scars.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Did you just say "ladies"? Wow.

Sorry. I guess I'm just old fashioned, which is why I feel insecure when a lady makes more money than me.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by dtb
How in the world do you get from your observation (which, I suppose is probably true, but hardly prevalent after middle school) to your conclusions? Is it because people on the board have expressed their dislike of you? (I don't think that's a female-only phenomenon.)

Sounds like the reality tv girl (maybe not -- I just skimmed over those reality tv posts) who said no one likes her because, deep-down, they're really jealous of her.

Whatever.

My turn to change subjects, I guess.

Reality TV girl is really a hateful bitch. That said, women are far less tolerant of other women than we are of other men. Quite frankly, Brad Pitt could blow smoke in my face and that wouldn't faze me one bit. If a woman did that, I'd scratch her eyes out. And then pull her hair.

And I watched the Swan, maybe for the last time until the "pageant." It's the same every week. Fat girl wants to be skinny girl with a smaller nose. Skinny girl with stretch marks and saggy skin wants to have bigger boobs and a smaller nose.
Every week there's one woman who might not make it and is there for all the wrong reasons - she wants to save her marriage. She has an unsupportive husband and thinks that bigger boobs and a smaller nose will make the sex better. Usually skinny girl gets to move on to the next round. Except for this week - when the fatty was far less emotionally damaged and got to move to the next round.

Tonight, Friends finale. Prediction - Rachel runs into Carrie (from SATC) in Paris - they drink, they smoke and decide that NYC is the place to be and they hop a flight home. Ross proposes, Phoebe gets pregnant, Monica and Chandler get to watch the birth of their adopted baby, Joey hooks up with single mom at the hospital.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
My turn to change subjects, I guess.

Why are you a gay man again?

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Why are you a gay man again?

Do you have a job or are you just here all day?

eta, No. I'm not a gay man. I'm a hot baseball player with wings. I'm the shizznit and don't you forget it, ruler.

[Not Me]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I have a washboard stomach and a 14-inch cock*; and a face like Brad Pitt's. All you ladies want to do me.

*implant, but it was done so well that you can't tell the difference. Plus, it will never sag, even after I have kids!

Implants eventually sag, just like the real ones. If you get them placed over the muscle, they will sag sooner.

FYI - only ladies with huge gapping vaginas like 14 inch cocks.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
eta, No. I'm not a gay man. I'm a hot baseball player with wings. I'm the shizznit and don't you forget it, ruler.

That is so gay.

eta: Or that is so, gay. I haven't decided.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
That is so gay.

You would know.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
You would know.

Har. Bad mood? How many hours have you billed this week?

[Not Me]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
we don't want people to continue to give her attention.

You all have proved my point here today.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I say that every year. And yet, Duke seems to pull it off again and again.

TM

Remember when you gained all that weight senior year, and John Thompson revoked his scholarship offer:

"Dear Mr. Marshall, this is simply not what i meant when I said, I thought you could become a McDonald's All-American......."

[bilmore]

Originally posted by me
Childish shit, P.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Dear Dildo

I stand corrected.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Har. Bad mood? How many hours have you billed this week?

Far less than the 64 hours I billed last week.
Hm, this is just like old times - you and me sniping. Don't even think of blowing smoke in my face, Ruler (please, when you read this use the Seinfeldian inflection of "Newman") why don't you do a song parody for me?

[Dave]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
we all know what Bill McNeil thinks about being adequate:

Dave: "Bill McNeil is ...adequate... I'm sorry Bill."

Bill: "Sorry? Sorry, you weren't singled out and deemed adequate?"

"...After all adequacy is the hallmark of great journalism."

"What is adequate journalism if not great journalism?"

"We'll finish this later, after I fulfill my duties with my customary adequaucivity."

"It's one thing, of course, to know you're adequate, but, to have a fellow member of the press stand up and say 'Yes, you sir are adequate,' Let me tell you it is a very special feeling."

"Well, I'm off to astonish the world with more feats of adequataqaticism."

Dave: "Everything going adequately?"

Bill: "Very adequately sir, I'm virtually bursting with adequatulence."

I'm drawing a blank at the moment, but wasn't the last one adequatacrapulence?

As someone other than me would say.... good times.

Originally posted by bilmore
I stand corrected.

whiff