Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs

[dtb]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
My wife has my last name. My kids will have my last name. My dog has my last name. That's how we roll.

There's a somewhat well-known (in Yale circles) Yale couple from my era where the husband hyphenated his name. Even by Yale standards, that's pussy shit.

Whooo, google-related update. Apparently he's now taken his wife's name. Pussy shit^Pussy shit.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,102945,00.html

I do not have the same last name as my husband and children (it is just the way the Spanish-speaking world rolls - by and large), and it really chaps mr.dtb's ass when people call him mr.dtb (hmm, I don't know how to do that in some cutesy way...). When I get calls at the office, and when he identifies himself as my husband, the people who answer the phone say, "Oh, Hello Mr. [my last name]". He used to get all pissed off, but he's given up - I think he realized it was no big whoop.

[dtb]

Originally posted by lookingformarket
Because when you're emasculated in every other way, it is important to maintain the little things.

oooooooh. burn.

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
My Tia Ana can drink everyone in the family under the table. She prefers Scotch, but she'll drink red wine if it's a Scotch inappropriate situation. She turns 90 in December, but don't tell anyone that I told you. She could easily pass for late 60s early 70s.

She sonds like Sebby.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
She sonds like Sebby.

Can she knock bourbon bottle over with her cock?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by LessinSF
but he might have lost some height at Chappaquiddick:

Who knew Less was a Penske sock?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by dtb
I do not have the same last name as my husband and children (it is just the way the Spanish-speaking world rolls - by and large), and it really chaps mr.dtb's ass when people call him mr.dtb (hmm, I don't know how to do that in some cutesy way...). When I get calls at the office, and when he identifies himself as my husband, the people who answer the phone say, "Oh, Hello Mr. [my last name]". He used to get all pissed off, but he's given up - I think he realized it was no big whoop.

That used to happen to my husband. This past weekend, the hotel person at the front desk kept calling me Mrs. [name of non-bf]. That scared me.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
That used to happen to my husband. This past weekend, the hotel person at the front desk kept calling me Mrs. [name of non-bf]. That scared me.

I went on vacation with someone a while ago and if I were arranging something (e.g. ordering from room service) the person would politely call him Mr. Benefit. If he were arranging something (transportation to the airport) the person would call me Mrs. Weekend Tryst Guy.

I think we were both horrified. And, worse, I think the horror adversely affected the quality of the sex.

[Montecore]

I don't usually tailor my jokes for a specific audience, but this is a well-deserved exception. It explains so much.

Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue.

After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"

The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by dtb
I do not have the same last name as my husband and children (it is just the way the Spanish-speaking world rolls - by and large).

I always liked the Spanish surname rules. Seemed to make a lot of sense - everyone keeps their own name, more or less, and the kids share names with both parents, more or less. Only benefit I've been able to see to anyone changing their name on marriage is that, if everyone has the same last name, it is easier to tell they go together. Spanish system mostly solves that problem without giving those with a melodramatic bent the excuse to go on about the theft of their identity.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by dtb
Man, your ideas just keep getting better and better (and you are annoyingly always at least one step ahead, darn you!). Do you think you'll go the route of adhering a large letter to all your garments and other fine washables?

I'm not sure. I'm still working on my logo.

I have a friend who has been attempting for the past couple of years to change from Jeff to J (I think no period, but I can't recall for sure). He decided there were too many Jeffs in the world (at least 3 in the small company that he works for) and he's never liked the way it worked with his last name. I'm not very good at calling people who change their names by something new, so I still say Jeff at least 1/2 the time. Plus his nickname with me is "Hot Jeff" (these nicknames really pissed off "Cold Jeff" at the time of naming), and for some reason "Hot J" just doesn't work as well for me.

My sister decided to change the pronounciation of her name in her twenties. She decided that the pronounciation given by our parents was mid-western and wrong*, so she adopted a more (in my opinion) snooty sounding pronounciation. I still use the original pronounciation (when we are speaking, which is not much of late) because I think it is unfair to try to change the rules on someone after they've been calling you something for over 20 years. And I think she's being a bit pretentious. I did enjoy the conversation when she told my mom that she and dad had mispronounced her name for all these years though. Good stuff.





*her name was more popular than mine in the early 1970s, and now might not even be on the Top 1000 (I didn't check the lower half to find out). she is not a trendsetter.

[Montecore]

A man is caught by cannibals. To escape the Island of Cannibals he has to survive 3 tents. In the first tent is ten bottle of Vodka. In the second tent there is a tiger with a toothache. In the third tent he has to sexually pleasure a lady.

So he goes into the first tent and about 10 minutes later comes out so drunk that he is about to pass out. He goes into the second tent. For about 20 minutes you here the man screaming and getting scratched. He comes out and he says: "Where's the lady with the toothache?"

[Jimmy Dean]

Sausage King Sentenced to Death

Feb 15th, 05 - San Leandro sausage plant owner Stuart Alexander was sentenced today to the death penalty for murdering three meat inspectors at his plant nearly five years ago.

At the end of a full day of hearings on various legal issues, Alameda County Superior Court Judge Vernon Nakahara upheld a jury's recommendation at the end of Alexander's penalty phase on Dec. 14 that he be given the death penalty instead of the alternative of life in prison without parole.

On Oct. 19, the same jury convicted Alexander, 43, who called himself "The Sausage King," of three counts of murder, one count of attempted murder and four special circumstances murder clauses for killing the three inspectors on June 21, 2000.

The meat inspectors were at his factory to investigate allegations that he was violating food safety regulations.

Alexander also shot at a fourth inspector who was waiting for police outside the plant and was able to run away and escape unharmed.

In giving Alexander the death penalty, Nakahara said the aggravating factors in the crimes Alexander committed "overwhelmingly outweighed" the mitigating factors.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I'm not sure. I'm still working on my logo.

I have a friend who has been attempting for the past couple of years to change from Jeff to J (I think no period, but I can't recall for sure). He decided there were too many Jeffs in the world (at least 3 in the small company that he works for) and he's never liked the way it worked with his last name. I'm not very good at calling people who change their names by something new, so I still say Jeff at least 1/2 the time. Plus his nickname with me is "Hot Jeff" (these nicknames really pissed off "Cold Jeff" at the time of naming), and for some reason "Hot J" just doesn't work as well for me.

My sister decided to change the pronounciation of her name in her twenties. She decided that the pronounciation given by our parents was mid-western and wrong*, so she adopted a more (in my opinion) snooty sounding pronounciation. I still use the original pronounciation (when we are speaking, which is not much of late) because I think it is unfair to try to change the rules on someone after they've been calling you something for over 20 years. And I think she's being a bit pretentious. I did enjoy the conversation when she told my mom that she and dad had mispronounced her name for all these years though. Good stuff.

I have a friend who has been trying to transition from his first name to his middle name because he thinks it sounds cooler. It's a bitch to remember what to call him, but I think he's been pretty successful. The transition has taken him about three years, and his leaving his former job and friends and getting a new set of hangers on helped.

My best friend went by the diminutive of her name our entire lives. At some point in law school she decided to go by the full name, and now everyone calls her the full except for her family and me. It's weird talking to her husband who has never known her by the name she grew up answering to.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Can she knock bourbon bottle over with her cock?

RP's progeny's progeny with Str8's progeny can.

[dtb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
[Laverne's sister's] name was more popular than [Laverne's] in the early 1970s, and now might not even be on the Top 1000 (I didn't check the lower half to find out). she is not a trendsetter.

In fact, I think you could say she's the anti-trendsetter (or the untrendsetter, if you prefer).