Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by purse junkie
On the contrary. While I will tend to give a commiserating glance at a freaked-out parent of a monster on a noisy setting like a street or supermarket, I routinely ask parents of children at movies and restaurants to please remove them while they're so clearly upset, as I can't hear/enjoy the film or my conversation.

Why you think my rehabbed-MJ-addiction and fondness for accessories makes me a wuss is beyond me, as they're not incompatible. You underestimate both my extremely foul temper and loathing of indulgent morons who raise their kids to act like pigs.

Sometimes I think we are the same person.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by infinitytrack
He was in the Kirby Pucket memorial restaurant, after all. Bilmore, was he seated anywhere near the restroom?

Strangely enough, they now have attendants and cameras in there, so he would have been shut down anyway. It's now the safest potty in the world.

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It's amazing to me how suddenly children aren't annoying after people have them and become used to shrill screaming. Taking turns taking the kid out of the dining area is an appreciated response of parents with children who behave inappropriately for a restaurant. I certainly don't expect you to "beat them senseless" but just because you have become inured to the noise doesn't mean everyone else is.

I have a child but I generally do not like children - in fact, when children at my son's daycare try to speak with me when I drop him off I normally tell them point blank that I am not interested and that I do not like children. Call me an ogre, but I can barely stand the conversations of adults that I am paid to be around so I am certainly not going to waste time in the morning listening to someone else's kid tell me about his stupid bookbag - I will listen to Little Fan's stories but not those of someone else's brat. But I digress. Due to my working mom guilt, we don't go anywhere without the Little Fan and have never had a babysitter. This means, of course, that we don't go out as much (not including hockey and baseball, which we attend religiously with the Little Fan) but when we do, and if it is a nice place, we are VERY aware of the Little Fan and what he is doing. Little Fan is warned before entering that missteps will be dealt with both at the time they occur and at home with the loss of privileges. If he does act up, we do take him out of the dining area as you suggest -- he is escorted to the bathroom where a minor application of hand on ass takes care of the problem, normally for the rest of the evening. If his bad behavior has directly involved another patron, he apologizes to that individual -- I know people don't want to be rude, but that means they often say "oh, honey, that's okay" and then I have to nicely state that we appreciate the kindness but we have explained to our person-in-training that his behavior is not okay and thank you for accepting his and our apology.

I find that kids will do things in public that they would never do at home -- this is probably because they see that parents are generally scared shitless about doing anything remotely disciplinary because the same people who shoot you dirty looks about your child's behavior will shoot those same looks if try to bring the child back into line. Short of always leaving the little monsters at home, it seems a parent cannot win.

Thrashers(a while back we were at a sporting event and the Little Fan somehow managed to scream "kick his ass" exactly when there was a lull in the crowd noise and boy did I get some looks. He's 5 now and tries to control those outbursts but I have been trying for years myself)Fan :cussing:

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by carp
I would be interested in alternative responses especially given the fact that my child had acted similarly in the past and chastising him for his actions would give him mixed signals.

I'm not a parent, but I would posit that the fact that disciplining your child would send mixed messages is your first mistake. Children should never be allowed to "run around" in a restaurant. Period. There is a time and place for "kids to be kids" but a public restaurant at meal time is not that time or place.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
I have a child but I generally do not like children - in fact, when children at my son's daycare try to speak with me when I drop him off I normally tell them point blank that I am not interested and that I do not like children. Call me an ogre, but I can barely stand the conversations of adults that I am paid to be around so I am certainly not going to waste time in the morning listening to someone else's kid tell me about his stupid bookbag - I will listen to Little Fan's stories but not those of someone else's brat.

I'm scared just from reading your post. I'm betting your kid wears ties by the time he hits first grade.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by infinitytrack
And I don't automatically view every child as a brat until proven otherwise, as it seems many here do.

I think, actually, that many people have seen so much bad behavior, totally unchecked by parents, that this isn't really an unreasonable assumption. Nor is the assumption by singles that all parents think their kids are adored by everyone and that anyone who objects to Billy's sticky fingers being put all over her new skirt is a kid-hating monster entirely baseless.

We'd discussed this before on the FL board: people without kids rarely see decently behaved kids (or good parents trying to get their kids to behave) because parents with the sense to raise their kids decently don't take them to places where people go reasonably expecting to be free of kiddie intrusion. Only the parents with no sense of appropriate parental training or control take their predictably badly-behaved kids there.

Similarly, the responsible parents also end up thinking all singles hate children irrationally, because they are hanging out in places where responsible parents take kids, and therefore see lots of passably behaved children and can't understand people's reactions.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by bilmore
I'm scared just from reading your post. I'm betting your kid wears ties by the time he hits first grade.

I'm all for kids wearing ties. It's easier to grab them by the neck when they misbehave.

[c2ed]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
What the fuck to women want us to do, persist in holding a mistaken belief long enough for them to score points by showing us that it was wrong, and only then conform our beliefs to that which is right?

Whoa. Not only women pull this stunt. Just for the record, I'd like to add that I've actually had this line laid on me by an ex-boyfriend.


C(ex)deuced

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Thrashers(He's 5 now and tries to control those outbursts but I have been trying for years myself)Fan :cussing:

Whose outbursts? Yours or the Little Fan?

spooky(just seeking context here)fish

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by infinitytrack
The thing I love is that most of the people voicing the strongest opinions about child rearing here appear not to have children of their own.

I can tell you that I was one of the people who used to say "strangle those monster kids" on airplanes and in restaurants. And I occasionally still do.

Then I had kids of my own and realized how hard it can be to corral a two or three year old, and even harder to corral multiple kids. We have left restaurants of our own accord, mid meal, when the kids were bad. We have also pleaded with them to settle down so that we could finish a meal. Yeah, I know we simply should have beaten them senseless in public, but you tend to receive just as much social approbation for disciplining a child severely as you do for letting them run around.

Basically, we muddle through, like most parents. Remarkably though, they are getting better as they get older.

I have trouble not cheating on my s/o when I'm drunk and stoned and around aggressive beautiful women. Solution: I don't get drunk and stoned and hang out with aggressive beautiful women.

If your kids are brats, don't take them on airplanes or out to nice restaurants. If you have to take them on airplanes, drug the shit out of them.

str(you think I'm kidding, but I'm not, and by the way, I'm having kids in a few years and I'm going to practice what I preach)8

[robustpuppy]

After reading this morning's posts I am convinced that if Coltrane and his SO just get married and have kids, all their problems will be solved.

I also see a long, happy and fruitful union for Str8 and his fiancee.

r(playing little miss judgealot today)p

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by bilmore
I'm betting your kid wears ties by the time he hits first grade.

Yes! Do I get to advise on shoes?

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
S(And new parent friends - don't ask a 32 year old male to hold your newborn - I'm scared shitless of dropping the kid and don't want him spitting on me... If I wanted one, I'd have one - take the hint)D

I second that wholeheartedly! Mainly, I don't want to hold babies because I'm scared I'll drop it or that it'll do something repulsive on my clothing. Parents then kindly reassure you that you won't and it won't. But then I'm sunk because I can't say "I'm really completely uninterested in holding babies." I'm happy for my friends who are parents, but your friend will ask to cuddle the thing if em wants!

p(totally bored by kids until they're about 3)j

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by bilmore
I'm scared just from reading your post. I'm betting your kid wears ties by the time he hits first grade.

Nah. He listens to Eminem and cusses like a sailor if I don't remind him now and again that it isn't appropriate to call his little buddies fuckers and his teacher a bitch -- and yes, there was a parent-teacher conference about that one, talk about reliving bad moments from one's own childhood. I was a wildly expressive child and I don't want to squelch his individualness at all. That being said, he should, nay MUST, be respectful of other people when we are out and about. He has been going places since he was born and knows how to behave in different settings -- if he looses his mind and forgets how to behave he is reminded and then escalating discipline is employed if the initial correction doesn't stick. He is old enough to understand that the discipline is not driven by anger or violence, but initially driven by our obligation to direct him and then by our disappointment in his continuing lapse. I am not saying that my kid can't have fun, depending on the setting, but I won't have him out showing his ass and disturbing the unsuspecting and unwilling public.

Thrashers(See, everyone complains about kids misbehaving but when I admit that I do what I must to keep mine in line I am the bad guy)Fan

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
If I ever have a child I will be sure to send the little cutie over to your table. "Honey, go say hi to that nice couple, they look hungover and could probably use some cheering up." Then my hubby and I would laugh and laugh at our little revenge ... and then the laughter would fade as we wistfully looked forward to our next carefree bender -- 14-16 years hence.

You know, I'm beginning to think kids are like cats. the less they think you are inclined to like them, the more attention they pay to you.

I am usually unshaven, unshowered, wearing a fisherman's hat and sunglasses on weekends. I'm not the sort of person you'd think would be open to sunny conversation. Yet, amazingly, while I'm eating breakfast, so kid will start looking at me while picking his nose or start crawling over the booth toward me. I try my damndest to focus on the newspaper, but eventually wind up addressing the little bugger. Next thing you know, I'm making faces at the kid because that's what I think is polite, and the kid is now locked on me. I wouldn't really mind that, but the kid generally doesn't know how to end the conversation - he just keeps staring and I'm left to try to read the paper while being stared at, which is maddening because soon the parent begins to watch what's going on. So here I am, sick, tired, trying to get angry at the latest claptrap from Paul Krugman and I'm being watched by two people as I fumble with my chopsticks eating take out sashimi and calamari salad (an excellent weekend breakfast).

S(Maybe if I go up and pinch the cheek of each kid I see like some creepy old aunt they'll leave me alone)D