Toronto Trim's Hotel Cum Drop-in Centre

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Even if she's just thinking about fucking Bill, it's pretty bad for you. Women want to have sex with men they fall in love with.

bn'b, I agree with just about everything you said, except this concerns me. I always want to have sex with other men. Fuck, there are about 20 men I want to have sex with right now. This was the case throughout my marriage (because it's the way it's been my entire life) and I didn't think it was on the rocks until about 4 years into it. I don't think it means anything unless someone actually does something. At least I hope not.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

The problem with a lot of women in these situations is they don't come right the fuck out and say what they feel.

Yes, and men are typically models of excellent communication in these circumstances. Spot on, Sebby.


(in the spirit of full disclosure, I agreed with most of the rest of your post).

[dtb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
bn'b, I agree with just about everything you said, except this concerns me. I always want to have sex with other men. Fuck, there are about 20 men I want to have sex with right now. This was the case throughout my marriage (because it's the way it's been my entire life) and I didn't think it was on the rocks until about 4 years into it. I don't think it means anything unless someone actually does something. At least I hope not.

Of course what bn'b said (and what I agreed with) was a generalization, but I do think by the time a married woman is seriously thinking about acting on lustful feelings and/or creating an opportunity to act upon them, she's beyond feeling pure desire and has an emotional connection (or would like to have an emotional connection) with the object of her desire. Of course that's not the case 100% of the time with 100% of married women, but I do think as a generalization, it's not off the mark. I think it's easier for men (married men) to think it's not that big a deal to have a fling just to satisfy an urge (and I sort of agree - I could see getting past a "fling" thing), and women are more apt to think, "Eh - why bother?" when it's just a fling/sex thing, and are more likely to act on their desires when there is some emotional connection (whether actual or hoped-for).

Maybe we're saying the same thing.


etc lispy spelling error

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
You, sir, are the rogue prince of the FB! I have no doubt that they will be talking about the legendary antics Ironweed the Great for years to come at Astoria's Bohemian Beer Hall and Garden. And could any place be more appropriately named for your outlandish drunken pranksterism than the "Bohemian" Beer hall??? You are the Ken Kesey of our generation.

Your cutesy little passive aggressive attacks are feeble, as usual, but understandable under the circumstances. I will say this only once, so dry your eyes and listen: the CDC obviously needed something that was lacking in your relationship and reached out to me. I'm simply not responsible for your inability to keep a major governmental institution emotionally and physically satisfied, so why don't you just let us get on with our lives?

Oh, and don't bother checking that "joint" account.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
bn'b, I agree with just about everything you said, except this concerns me. I always want to have sex with other men. Fuck, there are about 20 men I want to have sex with right now. This was the case throughout my marriage (because it's the way it's been my entire life)

You are not alone. That is everybody (although 20 may be high or low for some of us). And anybody who says otherwise is lying. I think bnb was saying the tipping point was when you actually decided to do something about the desire to fuck others, but she didn't quite say it, or implied it too subtly.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You are not alone. That is everybody (although 20 may be high or low for some of us). And anybody who says otherwise is lying. I think bnb was saying the tipping point was when you actually decided to do something about the desire to fuck others, but she didn't quite say it, or implied it too subtly.

Wow. You've come a long way, baby.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by dtb
Of course what bn'b said (and what I agreed with) was a generalization, but I do think by the time a married woman is seriously thinking about acting on lustful feelings and/or creating an opportunity to act upon them, she's beyond feeling pure desire and has an emotional connection (or would like to have an emotional connection) with the object of her desire. Of course that's not the case 100% of the time with 100% of married women, but I do think as a generalization, it's not off the mark. I think it's easier for men (married men) to think it's not that big a deal to have a fling just to satisfy an urge (and I sort of agree - I could see getting past a "fling" thing), and women are more apt to think, "Eh - why bother?" when it's just a fling/sex thing, and are more likely to act on their desires when there is some emothional connection (whether actual or hoped-for).

Maybe we're saying the same thing.

Do you think everyone who's saying "women feel this way" or "men think this way" should just be saying "I feel/think this way?"

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by cuckold
Thanks for your thoughts. Bill is her friend from way back who I've knon for a couple of years. I'm pretty sure, based on my reading, that the affair has only been going on for a month or two. But he's been working on her for a while. Seemed like a decent enough guy when he was just playing the field, until I learned that my wife was on that field.

When you have the confrontation, you should ask your wife why she didn't ask you if you were interested in FMF threeways. I bet it's because you suck in bed.

:siren:

In all actuality, the situation sucks. Best of luck to you. Unfortunately, I don't think your relationship is salvagable, but what do I know? Time to start working out so you can look hot if you have to start playing the field again.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
Of course what bn'b said (and what I agreed with) was a generalization, but I do think by the time a married woman is seriously thinking about acting on lustful feelings and/or creating an opportunity to act upon them, she's beyond feeling pure desire and has an emotional connection (or would like to have an emotional connection) with the object of her desire. Of course that's not the case 100% of the time with 100% of married women, but I do think as a generalization, it's not off the mark. I think it's easier for men (married men) to think it's not that big a deal to have a fling just to satisfy an urge (and I sort of agree - I could see getting past a "fling" thing), and women are more apt to think, "Eh - why bother?" when it's just a fling/sex thing, and are more likely to act on their desires when there is some emothional connection (whether actual or hoped-for).

Maybe we're saying the same thing.

So women don't dig the "strange"? There's no kick to just tearing your clothes off and fucking a hot stranger?

[dtb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Do you think everyone who's saying "women feel this way" or "men think this way" should just be saying "I feel/think this way?"

No, Mr. Smarty Pants. I think what bn'b and I were saying is true for women WAY MORE than it is for men. What I won't do is put a percentage on it, because that would be silly. I haven't done empirical studies, but my life experience and the experiences/views of people I know inform my opinion. When I was agreeing with bn'b, actually, I thought, "GWINK isn't going to agree with this" but I don't think that makes the generalization less accurate.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
No, Mr. Smarty Pants. I think what bn'b and I were saying is true for women WAY MORE than it is for men. What I won't do is put a percentage on it, because that would be silly. I haven't done empirical studies, but my life experience and the experiences/views of people I know inform my opinion. When I was agreeing with bn'b, actually, I thought, "GWINK isn't going to agree with this" but I don't think that makes the generalization less accurate.

Yeh, but you've got about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 one night stands a year disproving your theory. They can't all be blamed on alcohol and low self esteem...

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
So women don't dig the "strange"? There's no kick to just tearing your clothes off and fucking a hot stranger?

Are you kidding? Of course they do - I'm just saying MARRIED women are less likely to act on it unless there's some emotional involvement attached, so that what bn'b said about a married woman's cheating (i.e., that she is probably more emotionally invested than she would be in a tawdry one-nighter) is probably right.

Of course women dig it. Of course it's a kick. I think about it all the time (for example, the hot kid who sits next to me would be a good candidate, but for the whole married thing - my being married, that is), but I can't imagine acting on it unless I were otherwise invested in a relationship; it's not worth it to me otherwise.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Yeh, but you've got about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 one night stands a year disproving your theory. They can't all be blamed on alcohol and low self esteem...

OK, you've lost me here.

To the extent bn'b was saying no woman wants to have tawdry sex with someone she's not in luuuuuuv with (or a romp or a "fuck buddy" or whatever you want to call it) I don't agree with that. But I don't think that's what she was saying. (Bn'B is among the least likely of us posters to have that view, I would think.)

I was talking about married women (and I think she was too.)

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
Are you kidding? Of course they do - I'm just saying MARRIED women are less likely to act on it unless there's some emotional involvement attached, so that what bn'b said about a married woman's cheating (i.e., that she is probably more emotionally invested than she would be in a tawdry one-nighter) is probably right.

Of course women dig it. Of course it's a kick. I think about it all the time (for example, the hot kid who sits next to me would be a good candidate, but for the whole married thing - my being married, that is), but I can't imagine acting on it unless I were otherwise invested in a relationship; it's not worth it to me otherwise.

You run the cost/benefit. My heart's breaking... is there any romance left?

I watched The Life Aquatic last night. Its Wes Anderson's most disjointed movie yet. Rambling and pointless, but nevertheless funny and engaging. The guy creates such a great counter-reality. But by far, the greatest thing about the flick is his use of those old Bowie tunes. I forgot what awesome songs Queen Bitch and Life on Mars were. I bought all the old Bowie shit on Itunes last night and can't stop listening to it. So unbelieveable. How does he get eclipsed by people like Elton John? Bowie could outwrite Elton and Bernie Taupin any day of the week. And he can sing better than 90% of rock stars.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
OK, you've lost me here.

To the extent bn'b was saying no woman wants to have tawdry sex with someone she's not in luuuuuuv with (or a romp or a "fuck buddy" or whatever you want to call it) I don't agree with that. But I don't think that's what she was saying. (Bn'B is among the least likely of us posters to have that view, I would think.)

I was talking about married women (and I think she was too.)

My comment wasn't addressing married women. I thought you meant all women needed some sort of emotional connecction to have sex. Misread. My bad. Disregard.