Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by LessinSF
There isn't a story on the front page of MSN to answer this?

Maybe he's Sidd.

Now you've got me all confused. I thought Sidd was going by "Big Gay Al" now.

And since you asked, no, MSN does not tell me who Tommy is but tells me this...

Furry “pocket pets” like hamsters, mice and rats have sickened up to 30 people in at least 10 states with dangerous multidrug-resistant bacteria, health officials are warning.
Diarrhea is common in rodents, and many animal dealers routinely use antibiotics to prevent this.

Doctors should consider pets as a source of drug-resistant salmonella in patients with severe diarrhea.

Owners should not kiss their pets or hold them close to their mouths; pets should be kept away from kitchens and food.
I'll remember to tell the former word processor with 12 cats not to kiss them any more and to keep them out of the kitchen.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I'll remember to tell the former word processor with 12 cats not to kiss them any more and to keep them out of the kitchen.

If she has 12, she wasn't getting them from an animal dealer -- I'm sure she'll be fine.

Now, those little dogs like Paris and Britney have that are mass-produced and sold at the fucking mall, those are probably a risk.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Owners should not kiss their pets or hold them close to their mouths; pets should be kept away from kitchens and food.

It says nothing about anuses (ani?) however. Richard Gere will be so relieved.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
It says nothing about anuses (ani?) however. Richard Gere will be so relieved.

Last night I fell asleep with the TV on and dreamt that there was a late-night infommercial about how to hamster on TV. Yes, Richard Gere was the receiver and Chuck Norris one of the hosts. In my dream, I was frantically looking for the remote so I could change the channel. Then I woke up to one of those early morning yoga shows. They were not using hamsters.

Weird.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Last night I fell asleep with the TV on and dreamt that there was a late-night infommercial about how to hamster on TV. Yes, Richard Gere was the receiver and Chuck Norris one of the hosts. In my dream, I was frantically looking for the remote so I could change the channel. Then I woke up to one of those early morning yoga shows. They were not using hamsters.

Weird.

And with that, Anne Elk goes on the "Non-sleepover list".

[ltl/fb]

that ever since someone brought up "love like burning" or "sex like burning" or whatever, that song "Working My Way Back To You" (with a burning lo-ove inside) has been going through my head.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Last night I fell asleep with the TV on and dreamt that there was a late-night infommercial about how to hamster on TV. Yes, Richard Gere was the receiver and Chuck Norris one of the hosts. In my dream, I was frantically looking for the remote so I could change the channel. Then I woke up to one of those early morning yoga shows. They were not using hamsters.

Weird.

I once fell asleep watching "Koyaanisqatsi," and woke up to see a car driving faster and faster around a city. Then the car drove off a bridge, and a man escaped from it and swam to shore, and I realized the video had ended in my sleep and I was now watching "Capricorn One."* The thing is, the scene seemed like it fit right into "Koyaanisqatsi" until the car hit the water.

* Which is a fine film in its own right, and one I try to mention every May.

[Mr. Man]

This is from a 7th Circuit case (from my homeland):

On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking
crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain
of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois. Murphy, Sr., who
had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up
later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called
Hayden a “snitch bitch hoe”1 and hit her in the head with
the back of his hand.

1 The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called
her a snitch bitch “hoe.” A “hoe,” of course, is a tool used for
weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar
with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden’s
response. We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho,” a
staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris
raps “You doin’ ho activities with ho tendencies.”

Originally posted by Mr. Man
We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho,” a
staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris
raps “You doin’ ho activities with ho tendencies.”

When I was clerking I once suggested "proclivities" as a better rhyme for "activities" in a footnote much like this one, but the Judge just hit me in the head with the back of his hand.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ironweed
When I was clerking I once suggested "proclivities" as a better rhyme for "activities" in a footnote much like this one, but the Judge just hit me in the head with the back of his hand.

Ah, time to regale wit' tales of clerking:

We had a case in which izzle-speak played a prominent role. Fortunately, my judge did not stoop to write an opinion in izzle. But we did shoot a lot of shizzle around the chambers for a few days after that one.

[Mr. Man]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Ah, time to regale wit' tales of clerking:

We had a case in which izzle-speak played a prominent role. Fortunately, my judge did not stoop to write an opinion in izzle. But we did shoot a lot of shizzle around the chambers for a few days after that one.

Very nice. Here I thought my college roommate was cool who used to incorporate the phrase "it would not be prudent at this juncture" in every case he wrote the opinion for while he was a circuit court clerk (circa 1990).

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
Very nice. Here I thought my college roommate was cool who used to incorporate the phrase "it would not be prudent at this juncture" in every case he wrote the opinion for while he was a circuit court clerk (circa 1990).

Great. Thanks for that. Now I have GHW Bush's voice in my head a la Dana Carvey.
Wouldn't be prudent.

[NotFromHere]

14 bridesmaids? Who does that?

Sartain says Wilbanks has admitted buying a bus ticket April 19 and calling a cab to take her to the Atlanta bus station on the night she left her Duluth home.

Wilbanks wrote, "At this time, I cannot fully explain what happened to me last week. I had a host of compelling issues which seemed out of control -- issues for which I was unable to address or confine."

Confine?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Oh the humanity! The children, what about the children?

Unfortunately, the rumors ain't pretty. Chris Farley, here we come.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Unfortunately, the rumors ain't pretty. Chris Farley, here we come.

Cocaine is a helluva drug.