Fringey's taut-abbed painter - Page 325

bold_n_brazen · 01-14-2005, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Just remember the 3 Rs of Reimbursement: Recruiting, Relationship Development, and Research.

I once worked for a guy who, having been caught in a rainstorm in NYC, purchased and then tried to expense an umbrella. The expense was denied.

He attached to his next expense report a yellow post-it note that read, "Find the umbrella".

From that day on, whenever anyone wanted to expense something questionable, we all just shrugged and said "Find the umbrella."

Aloha Mr. Learned Hand · 01-14-2005, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I just realized I have a 3 day weekend. Woo hoo!

Same here, though I'm pretty sure it's not out of some newfound commitment to celebrating diversity... New Year's Eye/Day 2005-06 must fall on a weekend so we need an extra day.

Which comedian was it (George Wallace, I think?) who had the routine about Arizona and the MLK holiday, and wondered how racist do you have to be to not want to take a day off? Went on to say if there was a KKK Day he'd take it off and toast the Grand Wizard for it -- "Here's to your cracker ass!!"

ltl/fb · 01-14-2005, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Same here, though I'm pretty sure it's not out of some newfound commitment to celebrating diversity... New Year's Eye/Day 2005-06 must fall on a weekend so we need an extra day.

Which comedian was it (George Wallace, I think?) who had the routine about Arizona and the MLK holiday, and wondered how racist do you have to be to not want to take a day off? Went on to say if there was a KKK Day he'd take it off and toast the Grand Wizard for it -- "Here's to your cracker ass!!"

There is a black comedian named George Wallace? Now THAT is funny.

Aloha Mr. Learned Hand · 01-14-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
There is a black comedian named George Wallace? Now THAT is funny.

Cue the Alanis song lyric...

NotFromHere · 01-14-2005, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
There is a black comedian named George Wallace? Now THAT is funny.

Come on. Surely you must have seen him.

ltl/fb · 01-14-2005, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Come on. Surely you must have seen him.

Probably. I just didn't note the name. I definitely have not seen him in Vegas.

ThurgreedMarshall · 01-14-2005, 07:43 PM

The Christies' marriage may be unique in the world of professional sports in that Jackie is rarely far from her well-traveled husband's side. This was never more evident than during a preseason brawl with the rival Los Angeles Lakers prior to the 2002/03 season.

Doug and Jackie Christie say they plan to reveal considerably more about their relationship, family and way of life in a proposed reality television show on pop music network VH1. A deal between the Christies and the network is not final, but talks are progressing, both sides confirmed.

Jackie Christie said she was first approached about the project by a friend from another network: "After Doug and I talked about it, we decided to do it. They started filming a practice part of it in December, and they'll start filming the actual part of it on January 11th."

The couple has already received approval from the league office.

http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=24025

TM

Flinty_McFlint · 01-14-2005, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
The Christies' marriage may be unique in the world of professional sports in that Jackie is rarely far from her well-traveled husband's side. This was never more evident than during a preseason brawl with the rival Los Angeles Lakers prior to the 2002/03 season.

Doug and Jackie Christie say they plan to reveal considerably more about their relationship, family and way of life in a proposed reality television show on pop music network VH1. A deal between the Christies and the network is not final, but talks are progressing, both sides confirmed.

Jackie Christie said she was first approached about the project by a friend from another network: "After Doug and I talked about it, we decided to do it. They started filming a practice part of it in December, and they'll start filming the actual part of it on January 11th."

The couple has already received approval from the league office.

http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=24025

TM

This will sound a little cold, but why doesn't he just chop them off and be done with it. It's cool to love your wife and all, but jesus, can you have a little space. This show will be fast cuts of Christie on the court and the rest of the show will be Jackie henpecking him to death.

ltl/fb · 01-14-2005, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
This will sound a little cold, but why doesn't he just chop them off and be done with it. It's cool to love your wife and all, but jesus, can you have a little space. This show will be fast cuts of Christie on the court and the rest of the show will be Jackie henpecking him to death.

I know nothing other than what I read in the full article. Based on that, he does not sound whipped. It's a closer relationship than I would want, but I'm kind of distant.

NotFromHere · 01-14-2005, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I know nothing other than what I read in the full article. Based on that, he does not sound whipped. It's a closer relationship than I would want, but I'm kind of distant.

You just haven't read enough. From Bill Simmons...

Question: What's the story with Doug Christie?
Did you see that New York Times article about Christie and his wife, the piece that resulted in the Whipped Hall of Fame being quickly changed to the Doug Christie Memorial Hall of Fame? Everyone has that one buddy who constantly makes up lame excuses because his wife or girlfriend won't let him leave the house, but Christie takes it to another level. This is unprecedented stuff. Few things have rendered me speechless over the years, but check out some of these tidbits:

You know when Christie raises his arm, extends his pinky and index fingers and signals into the air? He's actually signalling "I love you" to his wife (Jackie), something that happens 50-60 times a game, even during crunch-time. It's almost like he suffers from a whipped version of Tourette's.

Some direct quotes and excerpts: "With few exceptions, Doug Christie does not look at other women, avoiding dialogue or even direct contact" ... The Christies remarry every year on their anniversary, "not a mere renewal of their wedding vows but an actual wedding -- replete with friends, family cake and a reception" ... Mrs. Christie attends 25-30 of the Kings road games, always riding on the team charter ... "(She) arrives before games with her husband and leaves with him after" ... "She sends him a note in the locker room before every game, taken there by a team attendant. He writes a reply and sends it back" ... "Sometimes on the road, Jackie will ride in a car behind the team bus, talking to Doug until he arrives at the hotel or arena."

(I kept waiting for this part: "When Doug asked if he could attend Mateen Cleaves' bachelor party this season, his wife burned his clothes and set his BMW convertible on fire.")

My favorite part: "When Christie played for the Raptors, his wife once confronted a female fan seeking an autograph and a kiss in Toronto. 'A security guard grabbed her, but I put my hand up and told her to back off really loud,' she said. 'It scared me, because my voice sounded like a demon ... she was touching someone she shouldn't have been.'"

I guess there are three appropriate reactions here:

1. If you had one TV wish, wouldn't it be for the Christies to appear on "Temptation Island." I always write how this-and-that would make for the greatest TV series ever, but realistically, a "Temptation Island" with the Christies ... that would never be topped in the annals of TV history. That's the Comedy Ceiling right there, isn't it? Even my idea for the HBO talk show with Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and an open bar couldn't come close.

2. If you were granted an alternate TV wish, wouldn't it be for an "Osbournes"-style reality-TV show called "The Christies"? Just Doug getting harassed by his wife in episodes entitled "I wasn't looking at her!" and "I told you, that was Peja's fiancee!"

3. From this point forward, doesn't Christie's replica Kings jersey immediately become the best possible way for a group of guys to humiliate one of their emasculated buddies? Let's say you have that one friend who's spending a little too much time with a new girlfriend, and it seems like she's wearing the pants in the family, to the point that your buddy has been blowing you off. BOOM! Everyone chips in five bucks, you purchase the Christie jersey, and you mail it anonymously to him.

ltl/fb · 01-14-2005, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
You just haven't read enough. From Bill Simmons...

Question: What's the story with Doug Christie?
Did you see that New York Times article about Christie and his wife, the piece that resulted in the Whipped Hall of Fame being quickly changed to the Doug Christie Memorial Hall of Fame? Everyone has that one buddy who constantly makes up lame excuses because his wife or girlfriend won't let him leave the house, but Christie takes it to another level. This is unprecedented stuff. Few things have rendered me speechless over the years, but check out some of these tidbits:

You know when Christie raises his arm, extends his pinky and index fingers and signals into the air? He's actually signalling "I love you" to his wife (Jackie), something that happens 50-60 times a game, even during crunch-time. It's almost like he suffers from a whipped version of Tourette's.

Some direct quotes and excerpts: "With few exceptions, Doug Christie does not look at other women, avoiding dialogue or even direct contact" ... The Christies remarry every year on their anniversary, "not a mere renewal of their wedding vows but an actual wedding -- replete with friends, family cake and a reception" ... Mrs. Christie attends 25-30 of the Kings road games, always riding on the team charter ... "(She) arrives before games with her husband and leaves with him after" ... "She sends him a note in the locker room before every game, taken there by a team attendant. He writes a reply and sends it back" ... "Sometimes on the road, Jackie will ride in a car behind the team bus, talking to Doug until he arrives at the hotel or arena."

(I kept waiting for this part: "When Doug asked if he could attend Mateen Cleaves' bachelor party this season, his wife burned his clothes and set his BMW convertible on fire.")

My favorite part: "When Christie played for the Raptors, his wife once confronted a female fan seeking an autograph and a kiss in Toronto. 'A security guard grabbed her, but I put my hand up and told her to back off really loud,' she said. 'It scared me, because my voice sounded like a demon ... she was touching someone she shouldn't have been.'"

I guess there are three appropriate reactions here:

1. If you had one TV wish, wouldn't it be for the Christies to appear on "Temptation Island." I always write how this-and-that would make for the greatest TV series ever, but realistically, a "Temptation Island" with the Christies ... that would never be topped in the annals of TV history. That's the Comedy Ceiling right there, isn't it? Even my idea for the HBO talk show with Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and an open bar couldn't come close.

2. If you were granted an alternate TV wish, wouldn't it be for an "Osbournes"-style reality-TV show called "The Christies"? Just Doug getting harassed by his wife in episodes entitled "I wasn't looking at her!" and "I told you, that was Peja's fiancee!"

3. From this point forward, doesn't Christie's replica Kings jersey immediately become the best possible way for a group of guys to humiliate one of their emasculated buddies? Let's say you have that one friend who's spending a little too much time with a new girlfriend, and it seems like she's wearing the pants in the family, to the point that your buddy has been blowing you off. BOOM! Everyone chips in five bucks, you purchase the Christie jersey, and you mail it anonymously to him.

OK, I don't think that they rate a TV show, but aside from the guy not ever talking or looking at anyone female other than his wife, and the demon-screaming, this does not for me spell "guy who is whipped by his wife" this spells "people who are unnaturally close. And if she doesn't talk to/interact with/look at men other than her husband, and her husband would have the same demonic reaction to a guy wanting a kiss from her, there's no "whipped" issue at all. There's just a fucked up weird relationship.

NotFromHere · 01-14-2005, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
OK, I don't think that they rate a TV show, but aside from the guy not ever talking or looking at anyone female other than his wife, and the demon-screaming, this does not for me spell "guy who is whipped by his wife" this spells "people who are unnaturally close. And if she doesn't talk to/interact with/look at men other than her husband, and her husband would have the same demonic reaction to a guy wanting a kiss from her, there's no "whipped" issue at all. There's just a fucked up weird relationship.

Seriously. When a man does everything a woman tells him to do - that's the very definition of whipped.

Flinty_McFlint · 01-14-2005, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
From this point forward, doesn't Christie's replica Kings jersey immediately become the best possible way for a group of guys to humiliate one of their emasculated buddies? Let's say you have that one friend who's spending a little too much time with a new girlfriend, and it seems like she's wearing the pants in the family, to the point that your buddy has been blowing you off. BOOM! Everyone chips in five bucks, you purchase the Christie jersey, and you mail it anonymously to him.

This is a really really great idea. Your best post yet, and no links to MSNBC either.

[looking online for jerseys as we speak]

Flinty_McFlint · 01-14-2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Seriously. When a man does everything a woman tells him to do - that's the very definition of whipped.

Methinks Fringey thinks that's the definition of twue wuv.

ltl/fb · 01-14-2005, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Seriously. When a man does everything a woman tells him to do - that's the very definition of whipped.

I didn't see anything indicating that she told him to do much of anything, or that he doesn't have her equally "whipped." Maybe he insists she be at games because he thinks that if he can't see her, she's fucking around.

Whatever. I'm not saying I think their relationship is one I aspire to.