Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones! - Page 325

Penske_Account · 10-20-2005, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Ignore him. He only brags about 5Ks, which are the races the non-competitive run for competition. Speed runners run 1600 and distance runners run 10K. 5k runners are the guys you see on spin bikes come December.

My 10K PR is faster than his too. No offence.

ABBAKiss · 10-20-2005, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
She's like 5' tall. 125 at 5' seems like a lot of weight -- full-figured, even.

Here she is next to Paris, who can't be over 5'8".

TM

If she is short, MAYbe. She must not have had much muscle. And she is less than 95 pounds now. I am 5'4 3/4 and when I weighed 95 pounds I looked about how Nicole Richie does now.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-20-2005, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Penske_Account
My 10K PR is faster than his too. No offence.

I don't know how it is up there, but it's beautiful down here at sub-3.

ETA: this is the gayest fake smack talking ever.

bilmore · 10-20-2005, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Penske_Account
My 10K PR is faster than his too.

I didn't even know they had a reputation for speed. I learn so much here.

10-20-2005, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
LOTR was nothing compared to some the crap forced down our throats. Come on:

"A Separate Peace"?

"Catcher in the Rye?"

"The Old Man and the Sea"?

[And as I referred to earlier, I nearly burned down my high school for making us read that Dreiser book]

So go ahead - name the worst books your teachers forced you to read:

A Separate Peace must have been the inspiration for Beaches.

I remember having to write an essay on Catcher in the RYe and the topic was "Holden (and I hope baby Coltrane doesnt get saddled with this name) found the word "grand" to be phony. What word do you think is phony?"

I somehow totally missed the point of this and thought grand was a phony word bc it had more than one meaning or something (imagine, me, not appreciating phoniness! Oh, the irony!). So I picked a word that similarly seemed overused, misused or abused. I wish I could remember what it was. Probably something like "Ping! Pow!

Other than that, I was pure genius as a child.

Replaced_Texan · 10-20-2005, 04:17 PM

As ya'll may remember, I have an unhealthy interest in Texas Penal Code § 43.23, specifically sub section (f) ("A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same"), and the definition of "obcene device" in Texas Penal Code § 43.21 ("a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs").

As an owner of more than six sex toys, I've taken great interest in the subject. The Houston Press reports on a recent case under the statute.

Quote:

An HPD sex-toy crackdown goes limp
Sex-toy crackdown

Jose Escalante is a free man. And for that, dildo lovers all across Houston should celebrate.

Escalante is a clerk at Adult Video Megaplex in north Houston, and he faced a year in jail and a $4,000 fine for selling obscene devices. Specifically, according to the arrest report, such novelties as the "Hustler Cyber Jel-Lee Magnum Cock With Balls Dildo."

As a practical matter, according to Richard Kuniansky, Escalante's lawyer, police take into account just how much an item resembles an actual penis when making an arrest. A vibrator is fine; a "magnum cock with balls dildo" is not. Having more than six dildos means you intend to distribute them, and that's against the law.

Escalante's trial began October 11. "Jury selection was highly unusual in a case like this," Kuniansky says, "because I didn't want someone who would freak out over seeing a great big penis. So during jury selection I literally pulled out the biggest, baddest penis I could find and held it up."

Not his own, apparently, because no indecent exposure charges have been filed.

Five of the six jury members were women, and they watched as Kuniansky grilled the arresting HPD officer over just what made a dildo illegal.

After two hours of deliberation, they came back with a not-guilty verdict. Kuniansky believes they based their verdict on whether a $10.50-an-hour clerk like Escalante could really be deemed to be "in possession of" the satanic contraband.

"I hope this verdict sends a message loud and clear to the Harris County District Attorney's Office and the HPD Vice Division that we have more important crimes to be dealing with than the possession of dildos and artificial vaginas and whether or not people in the city of Houston choose to masturbate with such devices," Kuniansky says.

Well said, sir. Of course, he wasn't so confident before the trial began.

"If I lose this," he says he told himself, "I'll be a real dick."

Captain · 10-20-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
As someone who played Oliver when I was 12, I can't let this go. It's "Please, sir, I want some more." I also remember the words to Consider Yourself, if you're interested.

I'm a fag.

That's not as good.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-20-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Goddamnit. Now I'm going to have to hit the track and take you down. I hate speed work.

Luckily, I still have the faster PR for the most important race.

Were you listening when I said Penske lives in the past?

TM

notcasesensitive · 10-20-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
She's like 5' tall. 125 at 5' seems like a lot of weight -- full-figured, even.

Here she is next to Paris, who can't be over 5'8".

TM

I believe that Paris is 5'10". She also has size 11 shoes.

Nicole is short though.

Penske_Account · 10-20-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
I'm a runner, and I have a lot of friends who run. If you think that the average person who can run multiple miles at an 8:30-9:00 pace (which is a pace of 6.67 - 7.07 MPH) can't increase his or her speed to a 2:00 quarter pace (7.5 MPH) for a quarter of that distance, in a race situation, you are even more of a moron and a liar than I already thought you were. And your story is obviously false. We all knew it when it involved a woman interacting with you, anyway...

Coming from someone of your cred, this only adds to the obvious credibility of my story.

Further, I have little personal knowledge of running at an 8:30 to 9:00 minute pace, but my anecdotal experience of watching the group 3 or group 4 runners doing their "jogs" around the track has me convinced that I am right. There are adult track workouts in Chicago from April through October. Go check them out and do your own research. I stand by mine.

greatwhitenorthchick · 10-20-2005, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
As someone who played Oliver when I was 12, I can't let this go. It's "Please, sir, I want some more." I also remember the words to Consider Yourself, if you're interested.

I'm a fag.

Consider yourself at home
Consider yourself part of the family

true story: When I was a little little girl, I saw Oliver!, put on by the boys at Lakefield College School, including HRH Prince Andrew. When they shot the gun, I screamed and hid under my seat and wouldn't come out (even when the show was all done). My mother was able to coax me out with a promise that I could meet Prince Andrew. So I did lickety-split, and he shook my hand outside the theater. I don't know how my mother was able to wrangle that one.

Later on, I danced with Felipe, the crown prince of Spain, at an LCS dance. that is just an fyi.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-20-2005, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
If she is short, MAYbe. She must not have had much muscle. And she is less than 95 pounds now. I am 5'4 3/4 and when I weighed 95 pounds I looked about how Nicole Richie does now.

The analogy is incomplete. I need to know how much you weigh now for it to mean something.

TM

Penske_Account · 10-20-2005, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
No. I don't race in fancy races where you get to use a machine or travel through water. I race like men race: with their feet. On pavement. Constant pounding. Tris are for slow ex-marathoners who use the previous two legs as an excuse for their pathetically slow third leg.

LOL. I remember when Outside Mag did an objective ranking of the most manly men's races that they placed the Marathon above the Ironman, so I stand corrected.

For the Marathon, the most important is (excepting the Olympics and the Kenyan Olympic trials) Boston. What's the PR there (I forget if we have "discussed" this)?

bold_n_brazen · 10-20-2005, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
As someone who played Oliver when I was 12, I can't let this go. It's "Please, sir, I want some more." I also remember the words to Consider Yourself, if you're interested.

I'm a fag.

I did this show once in high school and twice in summer stock. I played Nancy twice and the Artful Dodger once. Binding my breasts with ace bandages made the Artful Dodger an un-fun role to play.

Penske_Account · 10-20-2005, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Were you listening when I said Penske lives in the past?

TM

Do you understand what the term PR means? regardless of when it occured it's relative. And do you think Coltrane ran a sub-3 this morning? Everything is in the past. Although for both Coltrane and myself some of our best races have occured since your beloved Yankees fell under the curse of the Beast. Posting about them as if they are winners is truly living in the past.