Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
There is nothing worse than the girl who looks better with her clothes on. I "dated" a cocktail waitress (She was 21 - hi Paigow!!) who looked a lot like Lisa Loeb. Glasses and everything. She was thin and well-shaped. Or so I thought. The clothes came off and...even though she was thin, she was flabby...and pasty...and she had buttertits...and a tattoo that had gone blue. Fortunately, she smoked a lot of weed and had given me some that night.

Hey, in fairness this also applies to men. Its unfair that men can wear baggy clothes whereas women are forced to display the goods every day. I see these fat guys in my office wearing huge billowing shirt that they think hidde their rolls. These are the same guys who still wear pleated pants because they think its slimming, when in fact it make a fat guy look even fatter. Its hysterial. There's enough loose fabric in my office to build a sail for the QE2.

Ladies... If his shirt's billowy, he's got rolls. But on the plus side, he's probably also got a nice set of tits, so you can enjoy bra shopping together.

Oh yeh, one more thing. If you've got saggy man tits, bag the golf shirt and khakis look. I want to see the outline of your man tits about as much as I want to talk to the skanky paralegal about how she got a TRO against her abusive ex-husband.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
AoN, a board filled with male lawyers talking about the assets of various women is really not terribly appealing. Indeed, a bit, what is the word, skanky?

Don't any FB women have something more interesting to discuss?

No one is stopping the girls from talking about fumunda and/or schmegma...

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
[hot court reporters]

Damn I should have practiced in Philadelphia, which is apparently populated by hot court reporters, hot clerks, hot paralegals, and PILFs galore. Local bar functions must be like episodes of Temptation Island. How do they do it? Must be the EZ Cheez on the beef.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
My mental picture of those two was of two morbidly obese waddlers in matching old navy sweat suits, so the thought of them engaging in anything resembling "consortium" makes me want to puke.

"Your honor, I was unable to roll my wife in flour and shoot for the wet spot, as we had traditionally enjoyed copulation in the past."

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
When BnB comes down from the mountain and bestows upon the Adult Board her, um, tablets.

speaking of hte roast beef board, i hear there are some nude shots of tara reid. now i cant look at the skank that ruined Phillippoussis for me but I would liek to know if her tits are real? I havent seen her since she was Bunny Lebowski.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Concur. Buttercooters are tasty snacks to be eaten by the box. As are buttertits - you can't eat just one! Check you local newspaper for coupons!

Were these also left out with the tins of Danish Butter Cookies during the holidays?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Hey, in fairness this also applies to men. Its unfair that men can wear baggy clothes whereas women are forced to display the goods every day.

Oh, it's much worse for women. They basically have to guess about the general dimensions of a man. Plenty of guys look normal with clothes on, and then you tell them you need an extra guy for beach volleyball and you're serving with his back sweater facing you...

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Am I a total retard? It takes 4ever* for me to type a text message. My phone keeps putting spaces between every letter I type, so I have to backspace every time I want to type a new letter. Is this common or am I doing something wrong? I think I lost my phone manual and don't want to call up Tmobile and ask for help.

I have a motorola v.66, if that helps anyone with responding to my plea.


*I feel like Prince whenever I type this kind of stuff. But it seems to be de rigueur for text messaging, so when in Rome..

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
AoN, a board filled with male lawyers talking about the assets of various women is really not terribly appealing. Indeed, a bit, what is the word, skanky?

Don't any FB women have something more interesting to discuss?

Clearly the men of the Board aren't worthy of it. Yesterday was a glorious day for everyone, and today's it's like we've been transported to a 9th grade locker room.

I blame Sebby and Coltrane.

Edited to add that one of my favorite expressions ever is "she looks like she needs a good scrubbing." Although I haven't seen the woman who coined this phrase since Tara Reid came on the scene, I am confident she would agree that the phrase captures the very essence of Tara.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Am I a total retard? It takes 4ever* for me to type a text message. My phone keeps putting spaces between every letter I type, so I have to backspace every time I want to type a new letter. Is this common or am I doing something wrong? I think I lost my phone manual and don't want to call up Tmobile and ask for help.

I have a motorola v.66, if that helps anyone with responding to my plea.


*I feel like Prince whenever I type this kind of stuff. But it seems to be de rigueur for text messaging, so when in Rome..

turn on itap predictive text input. makes things mugh easier. that said, typing on a tiny handset keyboard is always going to be tricky.

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Am I a total retard? It takes 4ever* for me to type a text message. My phone keeps putting spaces between every letter I type, so I have to backspace every time I want to type a new letter. Is this common or am I doing something wrong? I think I lost my phone manual and don't want to call up Tmobile and ask for help.

I have a motorola v.66, if that helps anyone with responding to my plea.


*I feel like Prince whenever I type this kind of stuff. But it seems to be de rigueur for text messaging, so when in Rome..

I cant help you but I think I received a text message on my phone and have no idea how to check it. I have a phone that says LG, Verizon and QualComm. Anyone? And i you know how to download the Curb theme music to my ringer, that would be cool too.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Were these also left out with the tins of Danish Butter Cookies during the holidays?

No. Cheap asses. I was killing time in a Dollar General while X-mas shopping (I was in a rural area - my options were limited) and I saw the tins of butter cookies being sold for like $1.99. I spent 5X more than that on ornaments for the tacky ornament tree.

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Clearly the men of the Board aren't worthy of it. Yesterday was a glorious day for everyone, and today's it's like we've been transported to a 9th grade locker room.

I blame Sebby and Coltrane.

I acutally suspect Sebby is Coltrane's rooomie.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Am I a total retard? It takes 4ever* for me to type a text message. My phone keeps putting spaces between every letter I type, so I have to backspace every time I want to type a new letter. Is this common or am I doing something wrong? I think I lost my phone manual and don't want to call up Tmobile and ask for help.

I have a motorola v.66, if that helps anyone with responding to my plea.


*I feel like Prince whenever I type this kind of stuff. But it seems to be de rigueur for text messaging, so when in Rome..

I solve this problem by using the phone for its intended purpose, as a phone. If I need to send a text message, I use email.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
There's enough loose fabric in my office to build a sail for the QE2.

HA! Good one. In fact, my stomach (which is hurting from two overly aggressive "abs" workouts is hurting even more now, thanks to supra and infra (I'm trying to throw that in for the litigators. I am a woman of the people -- I speak your language!)

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Ladies... If his shirt's billowy, he's got rolls. But on the plus side, he's probably also got a nice set of tits, so you can enjoy bra shopping together.