Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
JHC dude. Slow day at work? You've posted more today than you have in months.

And for my NFH of the day - here is a mad cow. (spree: use of the f-word and the t-word)
Cute, until the end which is stupid.

Mad mad cow

That made my day.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
This is a board full of lawyers, hon. The only people here who can do this without setting off alarm bells in a four-block radius are you and me. All others are better advised to just go on the attack ASAP, and plausibly maintain the outrage until the audience loses all interest or desire to perpetuate the conversation.



This is brilliant. Also, if someone asks for a detail on which you didn't prepare, say, "Dunno; I didn't notice"* and keep going. At a point of calmer introspection, you can decide whether it will sound more implausible for you to suddenly remember and fill in the gap.

Also, don't smile unless its contextually appropriate to the lie. Liars often smile in a manner that doesn't crease their brow, because it's fake. People who say they can catch a liar's eyes are only partially right --- it has to do with facial muscles. When trying to spot a lie, watch what the liar does immediately after delivering a whopper. Usually their hand will fly up to their neck, ear, or cheek in some primordial defensive reaction, but it doesn't necessarily occur while the lie passes their lips --- it's more in response to what how the other person responds.

*Or, if you're Sebby, "Beats the fuck out of me, dude."

As I tell every client before a dep, the three greaatest words in the English language, next to "I don't recall" are "I don't know."

No one, and I mean, no one, EVER gets me to commit to anything in writing. People send me "recap" letters all the time and I routinely write back "I diagree with your characterization of the conversation, but I'm not going to play revisionist historian here. Act accordingly." Know nothing until you need to know someonthing - and when that time comes, be very prepared and know it all.

No one can ever accuse you of lying if you never know anything.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Bitch, please, you have to license the Cooters brand from me first.

Get back to your job at the nuke plant, fat boy. "Cooter" is either Paigs' or mine. I think its hers, but I'm a greddy self congratulatory fuck.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
I thought she was responding to your question about the cut of meat they used to make your bologna sandwich, but I was having a hard time hearing you over the tractors. Entertaining place -- myself, I never would have noticed that shack.

Of course you never would have noticed the place. You only "eat" at places that sell Thunderbird with the requisite brown paper bag.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield


No one can ever accuse you of lying if you never know anything.

Thank you, Peter Wallison

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by dtb
I'm trying to throw that in for the litigators. I am a woman of the people -- I speak your language!

And we love you for it, your Majesty. Even though we sometimes mix up Jane Austen with that cute chick from the Go-Gos.

That being said, to respond to Sebby's point, I don't see a whole lotta chick lawyers here in Podunkville wearing tight and/or revealing stuff . There are lots of billowing shirts and pleated pants on the men and women in the business casual offices. And no skirts shorter than more than a few inches above the knees, or clingy tops without jackets, at non business casual work places. A few, yes, but not many. Alas.

I don't know if this carries over to Not Work clothes because I am old and don't go to the hep places where that "New Wave" music gets played.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
As I tell every client before a dep, the three greaatest words in the English language, next to "I don't recall" are "I don't know."

No one, and I mean, no one, EVER gets me to commit to anything in writing. People send me "recap" letters all the time and I routinely write back "I diagree with your characterization of the conversation, but I'm not going to play revisionist historian here. Act accordingly." Know nothing until you need to know someonthing - and when that time comes, be very prepared and know it all.

No one can ever accuse you of lying if you never know anything.

This explains why I never seem to have the time to write those memos to file that some people are foolish enough to request.

Well, this, and the female problems I am always having.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
I'm almost positive that the rumored threesome video with Paris Hilton does not involve Nicole Richie, but rather, Nicole Lenz, lingerie model and certifiably-nutso girl.

I hope you are right. But I've heard another rumor that it involves Katherine Harris.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Get back to your job at the nuke plant, fat boy. "Cooter" is either Paigs' or mine. I think its hers, but I'm a greddy self congratulatory fuck.

So, you're saying she's wrong for fu'ing me for inventing the term?

[dtb]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Anyone know anybody who got busted for lying to their boss about something serious? Any good stories?

I think I posted this story many-a-board ago, but it still makes me cringe with embarrassment for the guy.

So there's this associate (at Cravath, NTTAWWT) who has theater tickets or some such thing for one evening, and he has to leave by a certain time. It's getting to be 6:00 in the evening, so work is rolling in, and he hears the partner to whom he is indentured coming down the hall. What to do?!?

Well, his answer to that conundrum was to hide in his coat closet (and for those of you who have been to Cravath's [new -- as in now they're 12 years old] offices, you'll know that the coat closets are those "built-in" kinds -- the kind that really just fits a coat and some minor personal effects -- not the walk-in kind.]

So, partner comes into this schlub's office, and sees him away from his post, and wonders whether he's gone for the evening -- so, naturally, decides to check his coat closet to see if he's gone.


[Seriously, I'm cringing now...]

[bilmore]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
JHC dude. Slow day at work? You've posted more today than you have in months.

And for my NFH of the day - here is a mad cow. (spree: use of the f-word and the t-word)
Cute, until the end which is stupid.

Mad mad cow

A. You really should have the word "Sound" in your spree.

B. No worries, though, as fourteen of us just crowded around and watched and laughed our asses off.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by dtb
I think I posted this story many-a-board ago, but it still makes me cringe with embarrassment for the guy.

So there's this associate (at Cravath, NTTAWWT) who has theater tickets or some such thing for one evening, and he has to leave by a certain time. It's getting to be 6:00 in the evening, so work is rolling in, and he hears the partner to whom he is indentured coming down the hall. What to do?!?

Well, his answer to that conundrum was to hide in his coat closet (and for those of you who have been to Cravath's [new -- as in now they're 12 years old] offices, you'll know that the coat closets are those "built-in" kinds -- the kind that really just fits a coat and some minor personal effects -- not the walk-in kind.]

So, partner comes into this schlub's office, and sees him away from his post, and wonders whether he's gone for the evening -- so, naturally, decides to check his coat closet to see if he's gone.


[Seriously, I'm cringing now...]

Dave (as Girl Drink Drunk): I'm looking for paper clips!

[SlaveNoMore]

dtb
So, partner comes into this schlub's office, and sees him away from his post, and wonders whether he's gone for the evening -- so, naturally, decides to check his coat closet to see if he's gone.


[Seriously, I'm cringing now...]

that a CSM partner would go rummaging through my closet to see if I left for the evening would make me cringe too

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Dave (as Girl Drink Drunk): I'm looking for paper clips!

I was curious about this Girl Drink Drunk expression and to my great amusement, found this at urban dictionary. It's verbatim:

girl-drink-drunk
8 votes

any male that gets drunk on what would be considered a girl drink (cocktail, champagne, wine)

Nathan loves to eat Ramon and drink his champagne while watching TV; he is a girl drink drunk.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Also, don't explain yourself until someone asks. Walking in saying "Sorry, I'm late because...." Is like saying, "My canned excuse is as follows..." Wait for the asshole to ask you, then say "personal issue, won't happen again" politely and click your pen or adjust your glasses to give body language that says "I'm not discussing it and lets move on to the business at hand."

Exactly. Akin to the shoulder-shrug and turning away. Very good.

And (not to dredge up an old conversation, but...) as a rule, men can get away with showing up late more easily than women. I think people assume women were doing something frivolous, while a man must have had a good excuse. Ahhh, the double standard...

Kind of like: a woman with pictures of her family on her desk puts her family before work, while a man with pictures of his family on his desk is a "solid, family man". [This is an actual bit of "evidence" from a survey on this subject -- I didn't make this up.]