Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[Jack Manfred]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Elayne Boosler was also hilarious and take-no-prisoners. Where the hell is she?

Elayne Boosler may be available for your next special event!
(Spree: link to Elyane Boosler's agency, which has further links to her tour schedule)

Originally posted by robustpuppy
What about Margaret Cho?

She definitely falls into my overrated comic category. You know who's really funny? Margaret Cho's mom. After all, her mom is the one with the funny heavy Korean accent, and the bookstore with a gay clientele, and a different view of the world. Margaret Cho's mom should have a show on ABC.

What really bugs me about Margaret Cho is that she seems to be trying to cultivate a cult of personality. I think it's great that she supports LGBT issues, and that she's not a size 6 (or a size 10 for that matter), and that she's a woman of color in a profession that doesn't have many, but job 1 is to make me laugh. That's also job 2 and 3. In her one-woman shows, she gets a little too preachy and motivational-speaker for my taste. All of the people who go to comedy shows to be "empowered" should be diverted accidentally to a Richard Belzer show the day after Richard gets dropped by Law & Order: SVU and gets an audit notice from the IRS. (Belzer was notorious for being rEdiculously cruel to hecklers and others in the audience.)

FWIW, I also like Wendy Liebman, master of the throwaway line. She's very funny. "I'm old fashioned. I like it when the man pays....for sex."

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

So, describe your first memory of when boys or girls (as applicable) and their respective sexual attractiveness finally made sense to you. [edited to include: Since I have been told that not everyone has such an experience, you can write about your first experience with the opposite sex (or same sex, depending).]

TM

Against the wishes of my parents, I went to a Blondie concert in 1980 (I think, perhaps 1981) at this small venue in Toronto- we were pretty close to the stage. Anyway, she was just the sexiest thing I had ever seen in person before - she was all kind of blonde and dangerous and angry and powerful. So it was very exciting and something sort of clicked and generally after that my horse looked less interesting and the boys in school looked a little more interesting.

Unfortunately the only thing going in the town I grew up is hockey so almost as a default hockey players became the main focus of my budding wanton desires - and that has been a little hard to shake. I still think Deborah Harry's hot - she just hasn't aged all that well though.

[lawyer_princess]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
When I heard Chrissie Hynde singing "Gonna use my arms, gonna use my legs. Gonna use my style, gonna use my sidestep. Gonna use my fingers, gonna use my, My, MY imagination,"

I had no idea that's what she was singing. "Sidestep," really? You learn something new every day.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
DS, I've found the perfect position for you. I'm not quite sure what the pay is and you'll have to relocate, but I think you should look into it.

http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20030512_392.html

[Spree: Klingon Interpreter Sought for Patients
Oregon County Seeks Klingon Interpreter for Mental Health Patients]

TM

Very cool. Now I've got something to show those kill-joys who ridicule the study of languages as common as Latin just because its a "dead" language.

BR(I understand that Klingon is pretty easy to learn, though I admit I haven't tried. I should hit the web and get a few useful phrases.)C

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by lawyer_princess
I had no idea that's what she was singing. "Sidestep," really? You learn something new every day.

I always thought she was singing "gonna use my sassy." This impression was formed before I knew enough to realize that Chrissy Hynde is pretty unlikely ever to use the word "sassy."

I also thought Michael Jackson was singing "shake your body like a toothbrush."

[LessinSF]

I don't remember the exact moment, but I viscerally recall realizing in 5th grade that I could not stop looking/staring at girl's TITS, such as they were or weren't. They were fascinating to me, and I knew I was being rude in not being able to maintain eye contact, but I nonetheless could not control it.

Not much has changed.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Very cool. Now I've got something to show those kill-joys who ridicule the study of languages as common as Latin just because its a "dead" language.

BR(I understand that Klingon is pretty easy to learn, though I admit I haven't tried. I should hit the web and get a few useful phrases.)C

OK, I just foung 4,000 klingon phrase books on the web. Now I'm just scared.

(nuqDaq 'oH puchpa' 'e' = where is the bathroom)

[evenodds]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Unfortunately the only thing going in the town I grew up is hockey so almost as a default hockey players became the main focus of my budding wanton desires - and that has been a little hard to shake.

Freaky, I have not thought about this for almost 20 years.

My first crush was on my swimming coach. I was 11 or 12 -- his name was Tad and he was dreamy. He could have been no more than 17. My mother and my aunts were tickled and teased me mercilessly. I can still remember that hairless chest as he helped me work on my breaststroke.

My first "boyfriend" was when I was 13. Our mothers were friends so we spent a lot of time together at their beach house or sailing. I would accompany our mothers to watch him play basketball for his school and dutifully cheer. He was a gorgeous blond surfer type, and our mothers held out hope for decades that we would get back together.

No surprise then that once I started to date, I dated athletes.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
But I'm pretty bad with faces, which is awkward when you run into a client on the street.

I was scrolling the posts really quickly to catch up and this caught my eye. My speed reading led me to gather the following from your post:

BRC is bad with feces.
BRC may throw feces at clients she runs into on the street?
Why the hell does BRC have issues with her clients' feces?

So I read the entire post again, again just skimming, and had the same questions. I need new contacts. Or I need to take a course in reading comprehension.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Aha. "Server" or "Waitstaff" (used singular or plural) are the only PC terms I am familiar with.

Too bad. I was hoping you were served by robots.

I was a waitron for 2 years. When I was in a bad mood/hungover/didn't want to be there and served like a robot, bad tips. When I served like a human being and interacted with my customers, much better tips.

I hated wearing that Flair.

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
No one REALLY cares about the race. The race is just a place for rednecks to get together and tell racist jokes w/out having to look over their shoulder.

So no, I don't like NASCAR.

Although the "Jeff Gordon is gay" (on Bob & Tom) song is funny, but not in the way they intended it to be...and I can't stand Bob & Tom...

I will admit that a lot of people who go to races are there to party, some people do care about the race. I am enough of a NASCAR geek to actually own a scanner so I can listen to the drivers and their pit crews. I also watch the races on TV when I don't physically go so I am not really getting together with the rebel flag waving set. At one point I even had a fantasy NASCAR team but I have matured since last year.

Perhaps your statement wasn't intended to be serious, but for some reason I am really fucking sensitive about NASCAR. My dad raced when I was a kid and if I had been a guy I would have raced cars instead of doing this suck-ass lawyer gig. I heart muscle-cars. Besides, a NASCAR race is kinda like Mardi Gras -- you oughta try it sometime.

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
I've never liked Judy Tenuda, but back in the day, I thought Ellen DeGeneres and Paula Poundstone were funny. Trivia: Ellen was the first female comedian to be called over to sit on Carson on her first appearance. In retrospect, Paula's early act, with its frequent references to depression, suicide, and the possession of multiple cats, might have foreshadowed her descent into alcoholism and legal trouble. In further retrospect, I have to wonder if there was some special reason why I liked (then-closeted) lesbian commedians (I didn't even mind Rosie O'Donnell when she used to host that Stand-Up show.)

Edited to correct trivia timmy-ism

I think the chicks on the Queens of Comedy tape are fucking hysterical. They are also crude which is probably why I find them funny. I can't help it, potty-humor makes me laugh.

[tmdiva]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
OK, I just foung 4,000 klingon phrase books on the web. Now I'm just scared.

(nuqDaq 'oH puchpa' 'e' = where is the bathroom)

If you're ever in town, we'll check this out: http://members.tripod.com/qaolin/id4.htm

tm

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Besides, a NASCAR race is kinda like Mardi Gras

You're saying that a NASCAR race is analogous to an ancient quasi-religious folk festival in which it was traditional for the peons and serfs frantically to eat and drink to morbid excess in order to distract themselves from the crushing truth that all were facing lives of endless deprivation and ceaseless toil?

Oh. Nevermind.

[tmdiva]

I did swim team at the city pool from 5th-7th grade. Speedos were de rigueur, and I spent a lot of time trying not to stare, but really staring quite a lot. I had a big crush on one of the lifeguards/coaches/swim teachers, who had one of those perfect swimmers' bodies. In sixth grade, I had my first sex dream, starring a swim team friend two years older.

tm