Fashion Board 3-5-04 to 4-6-04

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by pretermitted_child
Having an unusual, not-obviously-pronounceable name is a career-limiter. And a major pain-in-the-ass.

Unusual names that are not obviously pronounceable suck. While growing up, the kid will be made fun of in school. As an adult, people will not engage him (e.g., in casual conversation, when calling on people in class, etc.) as often as a person with a plainer name, out of fear that they will mispronounce it. Having an unusual name will doom the kid to a lifetime of correcting people and generating unnecessary awkwardness incident thereto.

p(Frankly, I don't know what's worse . . . having my name or being named "Parenthesis" since the latter, albeit unusual, is obviously pronounceable.)c

A career limiter? Seriously? Maybe if your parents named you Jackass, but otherwise I don't see it. I've never felt "engaged less" because I have an unusual name. Actually people often ask me about upon first meeting. Sure, people might wait to call me by first name until they've heard me say it a few times to make sure they have it right, but that is no different than people not remembering if your name is Mike or Mark.

If it bothers you that much, why not start using your middle name or something at some point?

Funny story (to me) is that all the partners at my firm took a couple of weeks to get the pronounciation down, but once they got it they have been very quick to jump in and correct opposing counsel, etc. on conference calls when my name is mispronounced. It doesn't phase me much, having lived with it for some time now, but it really irks them. Their reaction cracks me up.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I've never felt "engaged less" because I have an unusual name. Actually people often ask me about upon first meeting. Sure, people might wait to call me by first name until they've heard me say it a few times to make sure they have it right, but that is no different than people not remembering if your name is Mike or Mark.

I have a very ordinary name, and I appreciate that my first interactions with people are never about my name. Instead, they're about topics I have at least 50% input on. I'm not sure Semaj will have the same choice. His parents guaranteed that he will have this interaction with nearly all people with whom he comes into contact.

Do we have any reason to think that people 20 years from now will respond differently from people on the board, i.e., "Semaj" is just a novelty, and a pretty stupid one at that?

Fugee, I suggest that you approach the pre-adoptive parents and gently indicate that, in your experience or in the experience of others in your field, adoptive parents can get a "boost" in integrating a child into their life either by (a.) letting the child keep his name, so there's no sense of additional resentment or loss in 15 years when the kid starts asking questions about his origins --- they don't want a Kunta Kinte "you had no right" problem on their hands; or (b.) giving the kid a family name from their own family, to recognize that he's joined an existing family and is worthy and entitled to share its traditions. Giving him a novelty name makes him weirder and more alienated than having a name from his birth parents or from his adoptive parents' families.

ETA: Mrs. Grinch voices an additional plea against the "Semaj/James" name, in that the slash tips the hand that even his parents weren't sure it was a good idea.

[Atticus Grinch]

Did Trinny and Susannah seriously just interrupt a FUCKING EUCHARIST SERVICE with a BBC camera crew in order to do a surprise fashion makeover of the vicar? If He lets this go, He owes Jim Caviezel an abject fucking apology for all the lightning strikes.

In iTunes Music Store news, so many celebrity playlists have now included Serge Gainsbourg's "Je T'Aime . . . Moi Non Plus" that at this point I have to assume there's some huge musical in-joke I'm not getting. Flower? Little help?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Fugee
We haven't had enough controversy lately so let's get into the significance of a person's name.

One of my guardian babies is getting adopted. His first name is Damareus -- slightly uncommon but easy to pronounce. His pre-adoptive parents (who have fairly common first names themselves) mentioned that they thought his name was too different and want to change it. To.....Semaj (pronounced Seh-MAHZH; it is James backwards). The mom mentioned that they might put his name down as Semaj/James in case James would be better for him in business when he gets older.

First question: If they write his name down on the official papers as "Semaj/James," that would be his official first name, right? And have to go on his social security card and drivers license etc.? I want to be sure of that before I tell them they might want to pick one or the other or do something that doesn't involve a slash.

Second question: How do you think having an unusual, not obviously pronounceable name, affects a child's future? The reason I care is that until the adoption order is signed, I am responsible for looking out for the best interests of this kid and I am wondering if I should talk to the parents-to-be about giving him a less creative name. He's had to overcome enough obstacles in his life and I don't want him to suffer down the road because of a name. Or should I let it go? (Remember this is Minnesota, lily white land of Scandinavian names.)

These people are allowed to adopt?

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Fugee
First question: If they write his name down on the official papers as "Semaj/James," that would be his official first name, right? And have to go on his social security card and drivers license etc.? I want to be sure of that before I tell them they might want to pick one or the other or do something that doesn't involve a slash.

If they insist on the goofy name Semaj, suggest that they make James his middle name instead of doing the slash thing.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I read this post to Mrs. dL (who also knows SD) and we got into a fight about whether or not one should turn on the light when using the bathroom at night. Thanks, asshole.

I hope you held your ground.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dc_chef
One of my wife's male friends from college kisses all of his female friends on the lips as a greeting. Bastard. First time I saw that, I was shocked. Then I was pissed and full of admiration. Pissed that I didn't come up with, and full of admiration that he had the balls to come up with the idea. Then I wondered when he came up with the idea. Did he start doing it one day, out of the blue? Or was it when he went off to college, he started doing it when he arrived? Because I'm thinking to myself, how the fuck do you just become the kissing guy among a group of current friends? Aren't the friends like, Hey, what the fuck?

Although, I did have a female friend kiss me on the lips one time, and I thought, this night is going to get far more interesting. Because it was my life, however, it did not.

Your wife's friend did not initiate the kiss on the lips thing. Its always the chicks who start it. I'd never kiss hello on the lips unless I'd seen the recipient do it to others or we'd previously done so. To do otherwise is presumptuous.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You would think so, but when was the last time you had a date?

TM

Let me clarify since I had all sorts of messages and IMs when I came in this morning about how mean this post was.

I wasn't making a substantive remark on Fugee's dating habits. Hell, I don't even know what they are. It was more to flip her "poke the bear" words back on her, which I thought would be funny. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But it wasn't some kind of personal attack, although, looking at it in context with the rest of what I posted during the day, it could be easily read as one.

I have yet to read her response (or anyone else's), but thinking about it yesterday, I realized it probably came off harsher than I meant it. And if I hurt her feelings, I apologize. Because, even though we agree on roughly nathan, Fugee's cool and I like her.

TM

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
With illustrative examples. Though, I think our MFM guys are no longer with us.

I keep telling you, if you permitted a "no swordplay" rule, you'd have a better shot at getting _______ and ________ together with you.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Funny story (to me) is that all the partners at my firm took a couple of weeks to get the pronounciation down, but once they got it they have been very quick to jump in and correct opposing counsel, etc. on conference calls when my name is mispronounced. It doesn't phase me much, having lived with it for some time now, but it really irks them. Their reaction cracks me up.

At my old firm, we interviewed an Indian guy as a lateral. He has a name that is common in India, but I've not seen here before. It looked phoenetically easy. During the interviews, I took my educated best shot at it, and he did not correct me, or even flinch- I felt urbane.

We hire him, and he starts correcting everyone on pronouncing his name. Across the firm there were 4 know-it-alls who attempted to "help" by correcting me when I said his name. Problem was, all four pronounced it differently.

He had this pronounciation that included a double rolling R. If that shit had come up in interview, I'd have told him I got a C+ in High School French because I can't roll an R, and he'd have to live with it- no offense intended.

My solution was to never say his name in his presence- this was for hundreds of conversations before I left the firm. I then went to a "joke" American name for him that was closest for conversations not including him. I'm not xenophobic, but that shit should have come up in an interview.

Like happened to George Costanza, if someone gets an impression in the interview, and you don't correct them, you gotta live with it.

Fugee, does Semaj seem like the kind of boy who will be able to let varying pronounciations slide?

[barely_legal]

SPOILER WARNING, BLAH BLAH BLAH

Well, Str8 must still be recovering from the excitement of getting to watch both his crush (Penis-nose) and the the man who makes his wife's loins moist (Matthew "Smarm" Metzger) perform last night.

Here are my predictions for who will go through:

George Huff will get the most votes so he will be America's wildcard pick. Randy will choose Jennifer Hudson. Paula will choose Leah LaBelle (curse her soul) and Simon will pick Matthew Metzger (and I will weep).

I tried to make a bet with PP about the winner of the popular vote but she is so convinced of my infallibility in all matters AI that she wouldn't wager even one drink on whether George wins the popular vote.

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Mike Damone would beg to differ. It's an integral part of his Five Point Plan:

First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."

Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."

Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

I think that is my favorite part of that movie. What became of the actor who played Damone? I always thought he was sexy in a classy way.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You would think so, but when was the last time you had a date?

TM

This was positively Coltranesque.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I think that is my favorite part of that movie. What became of the actor who played Damone? I always thought he was sexy in a classy way.

This is a dumb trivia question, but has anyone ever explained whether the use of Kasmir, which is not on IV, was intentional?

TiVo "I Love the 80s" on VH1. There's a whole "Where are they now" on Fast Times actors. I can't recall where Damone went.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
This is a dumb trivia question, but has anyone ever explained whether the use of Kasmir, which is not on IV, was intentional?

TiVo "I Love the 80s" on VH1. There's a whole "Where are they now" on Fast Times actors. I can't recall where Damone went.

Still acting:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001680/