Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
This is one reason why you should never discuss exes.

What exes? You were the first.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Apparently, some tool over at AP accidentally forwarded via email his entire rolodex filled with phone numbers from sports icons ranging from Kareem to Peter Angelos to Clemens to the Fraziers to Madden to Stan Mikita.

Gonna be a lot of prank calls over the next few days.

Disclaimer: Any prank calls to Merlin Olson were not from me

I've seen the list, and it is lengthy and looks accurate (judging by some of the area codes) if not old... Some of the people on there can only be reached now through a seance (Walter Payton, FloJo, etc.)

Dare somebody to crank call Butkus or Da Coach...

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Ok. Would your analysis/approach change at all if your SO had upfront, early in the relationship let you know that lying about that sort of stuff is unacceptable?

Good question. I guess it would depend on whether or not we had the "It's okay for you to have a drink with an ex and I'll never make a big deal about something like that and I'm signing this affidavidit attesting to same" conversation. And I've that conversation. You guys mean it at the time, but when you run into an ex who is hotter than you, it's like it never happened. "Oh, She's your ex? You didn't tell me she was that cute/funny/smart/whatever. How much time did you spend with her? How long are you going to be out? What did you guys talk about? Etc. Etc. Headache.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I guess from my perspective men* seem to be so adverse to having a mildly unpleasant conversation about something that instead they risk a much larger fight and future trust issues. Not a good tradeoff IMO.

You're right. But if I'm not out all night, what's the big deal? The much larger fight will end. And the chances of it actually even taking place are very, very slim.

TM

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Not telling/lying is better for everyone.

But you'd better damned well make sure that she NEVER finds out, because however mad and unreasonable she was going to be back when you first decided to hide something/lie to her, magnify that by several hundred when she finds out that you've been keeping things/lying to her.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
What exes? You were the first.

As were you, darling.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
But you'd better damned well make sure that she NEVER finds out, because however mad and unreasonable she was going to be back when you first decided to hide something/lie to her, magnify that by several hundred when she finds out that you've been keeping things/lying to her.

RT, once he explains that he was only keeping it from her because he knew she was going to have this kind of irrational reaction (which she wouldn't have, by the way, if she weren't so insecure, and she must be insecure, because if she weren't, why would she be bothered by a perfectly innocent meeting with an ex?), and she sees that it was for her own good, then it will all be fine, and they'll have really hot makeup sex.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Fugee
It all depends on the SO and the friend. And someone watching for a longish period of time is not necessarily psycho if she was sitting where you were in her line of sight and she could glance over periodically enough to notice if someone else was there.

Ha. You fail to see the simple truth. You can't make it sound like the friend isn't a psycho. Your hypothetical, no matter how plausible, sounds ridiculous. Especially when I get through with it. "Oh. She just happened to be sitting in a spot where I was in her line of sight and i never saw her and she didn't say anything to me? Etc." Where the hell do you think I'm having this drink anyway? The Mall of America?

You know what I think? I think you're the nutso friend.

Originally posted by Fugee
I still say however entertaining an evening catching up with an ex might be, your best bet is to not do it if it requires lying.

And you wonder why you get lied to.

TM

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
As were you, darling.

[Sneezing] Bullshit! [/Sneezing]

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I'll field this one since all the other liars out there will just lie to you about ever doing something like this.

Meeting with an ex is inherently dangerous. I don't care on what terms you split or how good and platonic your friendship now is. You once fucked them and found them very attractive. It is highly likely that you will find them attractive again. This is how every SO in the world thinks about exes. Everyone who says otherwise is completely full of shit.

So, why go? Because you think you won't find them attractive enough to act on it and you enjoy their company even though it didn't work out with them. You have convinced yourself that you are mature enough to have an adult conversation with them without jumping their bones, etc.

It's not necessarily that you have evil plans that your SO need not know about. It's more like "Why not just save myself the headache of the drawn-out conversation over someone who matters enough to only rate a drink every year or so?" And before you say, "But you've created more work with the lie than the conversation would be," I'll have to say: Wrong. Because you will have the conversation then. You will have the conversation another half-dozen times too. And if you don't actually have that conversation over and over, the SO is going over it in their head on their own at least as many times.

TM

There's a very easy way to have a great platonic meeting with an ex you still find hot - jerk off beforehand.

Simple problem, simple solution.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
There's a very easy way to have a great platonic meeting with an ex you still find hot - jerk off beforehand.

Simple problem, simple solution.

Very astute. But the issue is would you tell your wife -- about the meeting, or the strategy?

I can just imagine the conversation. I'm sure Sebby's side would be very rational.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
RT, once he explains that he was only keeping it from her because he knew she was going to have this kind of irrational reaction (which she wouldn't have, by the way, if she weren't so insecure, and she must be insecure, because if she weren't, why would she be bothered by a perfectly innocent meeting with an ex?), and she sees that it was for her own good, then it will all be fine, and they'll have really hot makeup sex.

His comment, stupidly, was "I didn't want you to get upset." Then he saw me get upset.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
There's a very easy way to have a great platonic meeting with an ex you still find hot - jerk off beforehand.

Simple problem, simple solution.

I don't understand all the ins and outs of the penis, but it's my understanding that some people can come at least twice in one night. So if you are one of these people, and you know you're going to meet with the ex, and you jerk off beforehand, you're likely thinking about her while you do. And then you go meet her and a few hours go by and... not so simple solution.

at least that is how it looks to me. Of course if you are not one of those people, then the solution seems ideal.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
RT, once he explains that he was only keeping it from her because he knew she was going to have this kind of irrational reaction (which she wouldn't have, by the way, if she weren't so insecure, and she must be insecure, because if she weren't, why would she be bothered by a perfectly innocent meeting with an ex?), and she sees that it was for her own good, then it will all be fine, and they'll have really hot makeup sex.

Now YOU'RE trying to make me look like a misogynist too? God I hate you women.

[idle acts]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
There's a very easy way to have a great platonic meeting with an ex you still find hot - jerk off beforehand.

Simple problem, simple solution.

you must have one LOOOONG refractory period

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by idle acts
Well put. I expressed similar sentiments a few weeks back to some colleagues regarding a fellow colleague who has elected not to leave her spouse after learning he had a one-night stand with someone. I was surprised to find that I was the only person who thought that her decision made sense.

Those absolutists who say "If he/she cheated on me once, I'd leave" are like upper middle class pro-lifers. They yap a good game, but when push comes to shove, they stay with the one time cheater, and they send the daughter to a discrete clinic outside of town to take care of her "medical issue."

Americans love to be absolutists on everything, and they're always full of shit...

Wait a minute... I resemble that comment.