New Fashion Board 10-3-2003 - 11-7-2003

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Ditto!!!! Though I noticed you had NO problem when he purported to speak for the FB on how nobody wants to read about my body fat and genitals or something like that.

and I would never deign to speak for the FB. Who am I, Slave? No, my post unamibgiously referred to an IM convo beteeen me and Pretty. Reread it. One thing I do not do is speak for others or put words in their mouths. (no mouth jokes please). THat is Sebby's job.

No no no. I don't put words in other people's mouths. I'm the guy who takes a peripheral point in a post and uses it annoyingly as a jumping off point for a venomous rant which starts and argument that goes nowhere where several people argue past one another. Then I forget what my original rant was and argue contrary points with occasional funny phrases. At the end I brag about what a good lawyer I am but how much I hate my job and remind people I'm a damn good writer who hates details and children. Oh, and I'm classy.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by rufus leeking
I need helpful suggestions:

This year the photo is our faces pasted into a Father Knows Best photo, and inside a TV screen. "Holiday _____", "______ Holiday."

I know the FB started as a place for helpful fashion advice. Any ideas?

How about inserting our unofficial mantra:

"Holiday Bitch," "please, Holiday."

Kinda catchy.

[Jack Manfred]

There really needs to be a market/OTB/office pool where you can bet on the use of certain phrases in articles or stories. Take the NY Times article about the French Lingerie.

"Your American stores are often so banal."

I would have bet a week's pay that the word "banal" would be used.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Only you truly understand me, Sebastian. Why does he have to watch me pretend to give head to his finger while he is getting banged when he is gonna get the real thing like five times over? Nonsense. I dont get it. And we have heard you rant a million times on the overrated blow job. Is there anyway I can have you talk on the phone to this guy?

Some people are jammed up with their fetishes and can't get off unless they get the action they need. He might not be able to come or even fuck if you don't give him the sucking action. I say break his fingers. If that can't be done, just tell him point blank in a very direct tone, "Enough of this shit... I need to get fucked" and mean it. If he doesn't fuck you like a rock star, he's not a man and you should dump him.

Mind you, when you tell him "enough, fuck me" don't do it in a fake "I'm trying to be hot" voice. Say it point blank like your'e dealing with an annoying co-worker. If he doesn't step up to the plate at that moment of truth, he never will.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
There really needs to be a market/OTB/office pool where you can bet on the use of certain phrases in articles or stories. Take the NY Times article about the French Lingerie.

"Your American stores are often so banal."

I would have bet a week's pay that the word "banal" would be used.

Lingerie - An utterly useless extra barrier. Good only for jerking off to Victoria's Secret when you're 13.

Nudity is the shit... lose the lace, ladies... its unecessary.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Not really. I've tried some things that worked better in theory than in practice, and generally both parties agreed that the theory was better.

This ain't gonna hack it. We want details.

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Ok then. Nobody here has had anybody ask them to do anything they thought was weird and fetishy? . I guess that makes sense given this place.

This girl asked me to just jerk off in front of her once. But she wasn't planning on masturbating at the same time or doing anything but watching, so I put it in her mouth instead.

TM

[Jack Manfred]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Lingerie - An utterly useless extra barrier.

Dissent. Barriers don't have to be useless. You'll get over the transom eventually. Plus, women who own quality lingerie that they wear when they want to feel sexy should be encouraged.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
This girl asked me to just jerk off in front of her once. But she wasn't planning on masturbating at the same time or doing anything but watching, so I put it in her mouth instead.

TM

I'll bet she was surprised! Good times.

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
Dissent. Barriers don't have to be useless. You'll get over the transom eventually. Plus, women who own quality lingerie that they wear when they want to feel sexy should be encouraged.

Thats another thing. I have some quality lingerie and when I put it on, he is like, "can we get this off, I want to feel your skin". I was like, where are the points for caring and effort?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Lingerie - An utterly useless extra barrier.

Sebby -- you know the panties have to come off before you fuck her, right?

It's like foreplay -- it makes getting there a bit more fun. THe striptease wouldn't hold much if everything popped off instantly.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
He should not be confused with Colin Ferguson, who was also briefly on "'80s Strikes Back" but is from Coupling USA. I remember him being good in "The Opposite of Sex."

Nor should he be confused with the other Colin Ferguson, who went on a murderous rampage with a handgun on a LIRR commuter train several years ago. That guy sucks.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Sharing sex requests
TM

One time this really hot chimp asked me to use my tail on her, you know, down there, while otherwise in normal coitus. Man, that was hot.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Thats another thing. I have some quality lingerie and when I put it on, he is like, "can we get this off, I want to feel your skin". I was like, where are the points for caring and effort?

Is this the electricity guy? The guy with the bad accent but beautiful eyes who you got tingly over in yoga? I need continuity in my fb stories.

And to answer your poll, when I was still a widdle virgin (but in training to be a slut) my bf was not impressed with my disco mitt and asked me to shave it all off. At first I was kind of offended, but then I said "if you don't like it, shave it off yourself" and he did. Not a dealbreaker, but definitely something that freaked me out at first. That is so tame for this board though that I'm kind of ashamed. I have a cock ring story too, but that's tame too. damn, I need more interesting sex.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I was like, where are the points for caring and effort?

You crack me up... this is priceless.