GO ABBA GO!!! - Page 45

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-10-2007, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I am not tired with or depressed by any of those other categories of posts, with the possible exception of the Hank/PLF thing, of which I am slightly tired but also ever hopeful that the two of them, working in sweaty conjunction, will find new motherlodes of humor to tap. I understand that when one is trying to lose weight, one obsesses about food, and about what one does and doesn't eat. I just don't want to experience it. It would be barely tolerable only if it were me and my diet were a screaming success, and even then it would be a crashing bore to even the bestest of my friends if I were to open my mouth about it.

Translation: Welcome to the Land of Fu! The buffet is right over there.

TM

ltl/fb · 10-10-2007, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Compare:

So, today, I totally wanted the chips. But I had carrot sticks instead. Tonight, I am going to have cottage cheese, because it's a good source of protein. I am allowing myself two Snackwell cookies -- only 6 calories each!

With:

The movie was so boring, I ended up blowing my ex in the theater. The only other time I had done that was with the ex-captain of the Canadian Olympic Hockey Team. In the meantime, I finally had wild sweaty sex with the guy from the gym.

If you do not admit right now that one of these subjects is compelling whereas the other is infinitely dull, then I will make it my personal mission to drive you from the board. I feel that strongly about it. You have a half hour from the time of this post to make your admission.

2. Jesus, PPNYC, you can't be this stupid.

taxwonk · 10-10-2007, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I use wipes (flushable) in conjunction with TP.

TM

I post this reply not to you in particular, but just to note that the last several minutes has revealed to my far more about the excretory habits of my imaginary friends than I ever wanted or needed to know.

Have you all become possessed by the spirit of Bad Atticus?

robustpuppy · 10-10-2007, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I have three! I am going to get my fourth. But not until a certain condition precedent occurs.

So I can already have stripper coffee. Wheeeee!

Condition precedent, power of attorney, moratorium; what the fuck is wrong with you people, are you lawyers or something?

robustpuppy · 10-10-2007, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
I post this reply not to you in particular, but just to note that the last several minutes has revealed to my far more about the excretory habits of my imaginary friends than I ever wanted or needed to know.

Have you all become possessed by the spirit of Bad Atticus?

I can't believe nobody has mentioned MR in this context. Until now.

ltl/fb · 10-10-2007, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Condition precedent, power of attorney, moratorium; what the fuck is wrong with you people, are you lawyers or something?

Sorry about the moratorium thing. In other news, I think bnb flew up here or something . . . the cupcake thingy isn't supposed to end for another 35 min, but I just got this email:

"Dear Employees:

We experienced an overwhelming response to the sale of Sprinkles Cupcakes. So overwhelming that Sprinkles Cupcakes sold three times as many cupcakes as they had anticipated and are now completely sold out of cupcakes!

We apologize for this disappointing news, and will try to bring back Sprinkles Cupcakes at a later date.

Thank you for your interest and support of this event."

taxwonk · 10-10-2007, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
A band called The Ponys is opening for Spoon, and they seem like a perfect band for drinking. Actually, I will probably enjoy them more than Spoon.

They are a Chicago band and they are quite insipid. But don't let me dissuade you from keeping an open mind. And a belached, lavender-and-lime-scented anus. It will certainly be appreciated by someone tonight, with the tonal ass-fucking you are in for.

greatwhitenorthchick · 10-10-2007, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk

Have you all become possessed by the spirit of Bad Atticus?

This is your best work.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-10-2007, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I like coffee. But get your third tattoo first, and I'll get mine, and then we can have stripper coffee.

Just for the record, I drink that.

TM

taxwonk · 10-10-2007, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Be careful. Some of them looked like mini stuffed animals.

Made by someone even older than Grey Pubes?

Not Bob · 10-10-2007, 05:59 PM

A friend loaned me Barack Obama's Dreams From My Father. It is perhaps one of the best books by a politician* that I have ever read. Well-written, thought-provoking, and honest (can you imagine Hillary or Rudy confessing to a night of "drinking, smoking, maybe a little blow"?) -- I don't think that it's a "political" book, really, so much as it is a reflection upon race and class and religion. Fascinating.

*Since it was originally published in 1995, when he was a mere GA in Chicago, one can safely assume that no ghostwriters were involved. Although I did see recently that Ted Sorenson endorsed him, so one never knows.

Diane_Keaton · 10-10-2007, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
90% of my "special times" are either before or during a run, so I can simply wipe secure in the knowledge that a complete shower will soon follow.

My butthole is the freshest, cleanest and purest of all FB assholes (and we know there are many). Kandoo's, and The Flower Concoction only hide the business like cheap French Perfume. In accordance with my strict Sharia practices (specifically the Qadaahul Haajah**) I eschew The Paper and perform Istinjaa with The Hose and it's set to "power wash" so you all can eat dinner off that little puppy (God Willing).

**"Praise be to Allah who relieved me of the filth and gave me relief."

LessinSF · 10-10-2007, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
I post this reply not to you in particular, but just to note that the last several minutes has revealed to my far more about the excretory habits of my imaginary friends than I ever wanted or needed to know.

Have you all become possessed by the spirit of Bad Atticus?

The classic question has not yet been addressed, though - fold or wad?

robustpuppy · 10-10-2007, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Sorry about the moratorium thing. In other news, I think bnb flew up here or something . . . the cupcake thingy isn't supposed to end for another 35 min, but I just got this email:

"Dear Employees:

We experienced an overwhelming response to the sale of Sprinkles Cupcakes. So overwhelming that Sprinkles Cupcakes sold three times as many cupcakes as they had anticipated and are now completely sold out of cupcakes!

We apologize for this disappointing news, and will try to bring back Sprinkles Cupcakes at a later date.

Thank you for your interest and support of this event."

I have never seen the word cupcakes appear so many times in one statement.

bold_n_brazen · 10-10-2007, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Condition precedent, power of attorney, moratorium; what the fuck is wrong with you people, are you lawyers or something?

I think all the asshole cleansing talk serves as proof positive that we are.