New Fashion Board 10-3-2003 - 11-7-2003

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You know what's amazing? All these people who are afraid to donate organs. there's this bizarre urban myth going around that if you're a donee, the EMTs will let you die rather than resucitate you. Unbelievable. I've actually argued with my mother about this. Its outrageously selfish NOT to be an organ donor, apart from being logically indefensible. If I were God, I'd never let non-donees into heaven.

S(and this might be the one point on which I can unequivocally say I'm not mainly, but ENTIRELY correct - get yourself listed as a donor)D

I am not listed as a donor for reasons I cannot articulate. Not the above urban myth. I think I have some visceral negative reacton to having someone cut up my body and take it apart after I am dead. Which is just stupid. I'll check the box next time I have a chance. It's like the doctor said when I brought my friend to the hospital to get his head stitched up after a mountain-biking-without-helmet accident. "Bikers make good organ donors. Healthy organs and, when they bike without a helmet, usually the only thing damaged when they die is the brain." I wear a helmet all the time now, but still . . .

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Mine is easy. I want all my organs donated (well, except the ones with high fucking liver enzymes) and my body cremated within 24 hours. I want no funeral. Scatter my ashes at a few places I have listed or say "fuck it" and don't.

Mine is the same. Donate the usable organs. Donate anything else they may want to science. Cremate the rest. Split the ashes between two specific locations. No wake or funeral. But I'll make sure there is enough money for booze so everyone can get together and swap stories. If they're going to show up, the least I can do is buy them a drink or two or three or..............

I hate wakes and funerals. A good friend passed away while we were in college. A bunch of us went to his wake and funeral. I waited outside at the wake. Couldn't bring myself to go in and see him in that box. I wanted my last memory of him to be one of life and vibrancy, not some Madame Tussaud image. His parents were very cool about that. Some may need to see the body to get the closure they need. I do not.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

And I don't know how Slave find's Pink the least bit attractive:

[dtb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
And about barely's taint article, I know Less is joking, but I am embarassed to admit that I didn't know that was the name for that particular region until a month ago or so, when someone kindly explained (without calling me a big loser, I might add, so thank you, nice person). So I didn't write it.

I believe the technical term for the taint is the peritaneum (but that's probably spelled incorrectly.) This is courtesy of the asshole, male ob/gyn in my family. (Most of my family are doctors -- except my husband and me -- well, and my children.)

Bringing to mind the oldie but goodie:

When do Jews consider a fetus viable?

When s/he graduates from medical/law school!

[dtb]

Originally posted by Skeks in the city
Anyone who sits idly in a subway car watching a loon pull out and load a 9mm assumes the risk of being murdered.

Just a technicality, I know -- but it wasn't a subway car, it was a real live railroad train (commuter train to the 'burbs.)

I suppose your point is still the same.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You know what's amazing? All these people who are afraid to donate organs. there's this bizarre urban myth going around that if you're a donee, the EMTs will let you die rather than resucitate you. Unbelievable. I've actually argued with my mother about this. Its outrageously selfish NOT to be an organ donor, apart from being logically indefensible. If I were God, I'd never let non-donees into heaven.

S(and this might be the one point on which I can unequivocally say I'm not mainly, but ENTIRELY correct - get yourself listed as a donor)D

Concur 100%. I also think that eligibility for receiving organ transplants should be made conditional upon having previously demonstrated a willingness to donate your own by signing the back of your fucking drivers license.

On funerals, I rather fancy a couple of options, which may be taken in various comibinations, and which have been expressed to the Mr.:

1. Really formal funeral, strict 1662 Book of Common Prayer. None of that having random people "share" crap - it always comes off as sloppy and undignified, and anyway that's what the wake or reception is for. Let people get through the ceremonial parts before that shit. Then: big-ass reception. Huge amounts of alcohol. Serious big time partying.

2. Get cremated and spend several generations sitting on my descendants' fireplace mantles. Eventually the servants will mistake me for an ashtray and dump me out, or the cat will knock me over, or something but in the meantime I like the idea of sitting there for decades and freaking people out. [Incidental aside - I formed this idea the first time I took a cremated body through airport security in my carry on. I called the security guy's bluff when he asked if the urn opened for investigation, and he totally chickened out. Pretty damn funny.]

3. After I get burried, have my friends throw a cocktail party in the grave-yard. I want waiters wandering about with martinis, and there is a pretty decent low crypt near my family plot where one could lay out some finger food. This must happen long enough after burrial for the sod to have been relaid - I don't want people ruining their shoes in the mud, after all.

BR(the Mr. wants a state funeral - I told him he's sort of on his own in securing that)C

edited because I forgot that wakes come first

[Shape Shifter]

This is not part of the Plan, but rather a gift to you, my colleagues.

Dumb people with money = more money for lawyers.

Have at it, folks. And you're welcome.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Looks like Jessica fans have something to look forward to...

Jessica Simpson has "signed a secret deal with ABC to star in her own sitcom," Page Six reports. That's separate from the second season of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, which is now taping. Jessica's also apparently being considered for the lead in an I Dream of Jeannie film. Page Six says that "with the TV shows, the movie and planned lines of clothing, perfume and makeup, Simpson should be reeling in close to $20 million this year." [realityblurred]


Which phase of the lizard's plan is this?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Actually, I asked the question because I wondered if there were men out there who, like me, wanted the physician touching their privates to be the same sex as someone who they would normally permit to do so.

Yez. And when I get a massage, I want the masseuse to be female (otherwise, shouldn't they be called masseurs?). Although, I will note that my doctor is male, so I guess it doesn't bother me that much.

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
2. Get cremated and spend several generations sitting on my descendants' fireplace mantles. Eventually the servants will mistake me for an ashtray and dump me out, or the cat will knock me over, or something but in the meantime I like the idea of sitting there for decades and freaking people out. [Incidental aside - I formed this idea the first time I took a cremated body through airport security in my carry on. I called the security guy's bluff when he asked if the urn opened for investigation, and he totally chickened out. Pretty damn funny.]

3. After I get burried, have my friends throw a cocktail party in the grave-yard. I want waiters wandering about with martinis, and there is a pretty decent low crypt near my family plot where one could lay out some finger food. This must happen long enough after burrial for the sod to have been relaid - I don't want people ruining their shoes in the mud, after all.

edited because I forgot that wakes come first

I think you get only 2 or only 3. Or are you proposing that your ashes get buried?

Pick a lane, and stick with it!

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
S(and this might be the one point on which I can unequivocally say I'm not mainly, but ENTIRELY correct - get yourself listed as a donor)D

I was under the impression that getting the little sticker for your driver's license, or whatever it is, is absolutely meaningless in the event, because your family/spouse/etc. will make the decision and the sticker controls nothing. I.e., the sticker is just part of a PR campaign to get people used to the idea -- you get the sticker, and then when you're in the hospital and the doctor is asking you for your spouse's kidneys, etc., you find it natural, not ghoulish. But I don't know much about this -- surely someone here does?

iPod + H2O = ?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by taxwonk
I actually have it in my will. Music must include Green Day's "Good Riddance" and Warren Zevon's last dic in its entirety. The only reason I have giveen Mrs. Wonk my gumbo recipe is so that she will be able to prepare a big ole pot for the funeral.

Children's laughter will, in fact, be encouraged.

My dad has instructed us to play Tom Petty's Breakdown (the live version from the Back up the Plantation album) at his funeral.

I've been so pissed off at the Teri Shaivo situation down in Florida that I've been working on my advance directive, living will, and durable power of health care attorney documentation, and I'm looking into giving my remains to a medical school's willed body program. The funeral planning will be next on the list.

A friend of mine paints with human remains that get abandoned at funeral homes and mortuaries. At first, I was appalled that he did it, but he treats the remains with such respect, and the art is held in much higher regard than the card board boxes or in landfills.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by dtb
I think you get only 2 or only 3. Or are you proposing that your ashes get buried?

Pick a lane, and stick with it!

Actually my dad's ashes were buried in his family's plot (above the body of his brother who died the year before, so he took up no space). Mainly I think so that people would have a place to go and feel like he was there. Fortunate because if they had been given to me, I'm sure that somewhere along the 20 moves since that time some unfortunate mishap would have occurred. He shares a headstone with his brother.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
[Incidental aside - I formed this idea the first time I took a cremated body through airport security in my carry on. I called the security guy's bluff when he asked if the urn opened for investigation, and he totally chickened out. Pretty damn funny.]

I hope this is not something you do often.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I've been so pissed off at the Teri Shaivo situation down in Florida that I've been working on my advance directive, living will, and durable power of health care attorney documentation, and I'm looking into giving my remains to a medical school's willed body program.

It turns out that you need to hire a lobbyist, too.

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
I was under the impression that getting the little sticker for your driver's license, or whatever it is, is absolutely meaningless in the event, because your family/spouse/etc. will make the decision and the sticker controls nothing. I.e., the sticker is just part of a PR campaign to get people used to the idea -- you get the sticker, and then when you're in the hospital and the doctor is asking you for your spouse's kidneys, etc., you find it natural, not ghoulish. But I don't know much about this -- surely someone here does?

iPod + H2O = ?

Not sure what weight the sticker carries, but I am sure someone here will enlighten us.

Just to be safe, I outlined my donation wishes in my living will and in my durable power of attorney for healthcare. My husband is well aware of my wishes (and will likely fear me in death as he does in life so he will follow them) as do my parents and sister. Finally, I carry a small card in my wallet stating my wishes so the EMTs will know too.

W/R/T to the iPod and water -- please let us know the answer just as soon as yours dries out.