New Fashion Board 10-3-2003 - 11-7-2003

[SlaveNoMore]

Did you just call me Coltrane?
And I don't know how Slave find's Pink the least bit attractive:

I didn't say attractive, I said sexy .

She's wearing a Devil costume with a tail for Chrissakes. Grrrr.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I wish to be committed to the deep.

Monuments of some sort, like gravestones, are important for the living. If you want to go deep, that's fine, but don't keep your wife and kids from having a place to visit.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
1. I had a stress test a few years ago. My sitting heart rate is 60 and I could run on the treadmill like a motherfucker. Doc said I had an iron ticker.

2. In 00' I had bloodwork for a life insurance policy. Again, results came back as spectacular.

3. Bleeding from the nipple?

4. A friend who I party with a lot had some work done last year. came back with highly elevated liver enzymes. His wife doesn't let him go out and he can't drink anymore. Frankly, I can't live without booze. I've been a regular binge drinker since the age of 16 and I've no intention of stopping my weekend antics until the day I die. The last thing I need is to get into an argument with my wife about it.

S(If I dropped dead today, I could honestly say its been a good ride... I have no intention of having anyone tell me to curb anything)D

Hey Sebby you fucking moron, we are aobut the same age and I was told on Monday I have something potentially malignant that must go. Even if it is needless surgery, which it could be, it will be quick and painless and could save my life. I wouild hate to have to miss out on years of reading things like "I would rather watch flies fuck",. "hey SD its a foul truth you speak" and "chocolate submarine". Please take care.

and get your head checked while you are at it.

[SlaveNoMore]

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
And Led Zeppelin for that matter. Which is a far bigger shame that ruining raspberry beret.

Which brings us back full circle to Warren Zevon. Now we can all go home.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
Monuments of some sort, like gravestones, are important for the living. If you want to go deep, that's fine, but don't keep your wife and kids from having a place to visit.

Got it covered. I intend to haunt my car.

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Sebastian, this post is not a warning to you, because I think you have evaluated the risks of what your are doing, and that is fine. If you do not want to go to the doctor for whatever reason, I am certainly not going to preach to you about it. And I know that you understand that an iron ticker does not make you invincible. I had a colleague who I am pretty sure had an iron ticker. He was a triathlete, a sailboarder, a snowboarder, and many other things. He died last week after a battle with melanoma. He was 31. I know this is outable, but I don't care.

Because I am doing something that I did not think that I was going to do, which is to raise this issue here, let me first just say a little bit about him. I know there is a tendency to lionize the dead, but in the few years that I knew this guy, I found him to be one of the more charismatic people I have met. He loved life, loved sushi, loved all the things I mentioned above. He had so many different interests and so many friends. When I heard he was sick, it was like getting kicked in the stomach. So, for whatever tiny value this has on an anonymous internet lawyer chat board, let me just say that he was way way too young for what happened to him and that we all really miss him here.

I understand that the instinct of many will be to write to say something about how they are sorry about what happened, but PLEASE do not feel the need to do that because 1) I assume you are sorry - it is an incredibly sad thing, and 2) for once this is not actually about me. If you want to respond, tell me this instead: Have you ever thought about your funeral and what it will be like? Has anyone actually planned it? After this guy's funeral, I exchanged some e-mails with a co-worker about funerals in general. She decided that she wanted to be cremated, and now wants to start shopping antique stores to find the perfect urn. She gave it some thought after the funeral, and her vision of her own funeral involves a beautiful table in the middle of a big room with the perfect urn on it. Tom Waits will be played and, once everyone has assembled, waiters will enter the room with trays of martinis. I told her that this could come off as either 1) a hip, bohemian celebration of her life, or 2) a macabre David Lynch-ian nightmare. She said she is shooting for 2. I have never given too much thought about my own funeral, due in part to my strong denial of my own mortality. But, when I do occasionally think about it, in the funeral in my mind I have died while relatively young and popular. In fact, I am probably wildly more popular in my imagined funeral than I could ever hope to be. But I have never thought too much about the details. Because, at least for now, I do not really care.

What the fuck is a sailboard? A windsurfer?

Oh, and it seems appropriate to quote David Cross here. "I get asked if I would rather be buried or cremated. I dont give a shit. I am dead so I cant"

[Not Bob]

I am apparently Mister BRC -- I want a state funeral. A big one. The whole nine yards. A national day of mourning. Flags at half-staff. A weeping Dan Rather on the evening news. My body lying in state under the Capitol dome for a few days. A riderless horse with a reversed boot in its stirrup leading the funeral procession. My flag-draped casket carried by an old horse-drawn artillery caisson. Current and deposed royalty and heads of state marching solemnly down a hush-filled avenue. Internment at Arlington National Cemetery. A marble monument.

But, unless I am elected president, I guess that won't happen. I'll settle for the traditional Irish Catholic thing -- a evening viewing at the funeral home in the ancestral homeland (the same ones that buried approximately 95% of my family), followed by the drunken wake at someone's house in which all will laugh and cry and say "Poor Not Bob; he's missing a hell of a party."

And my cousin Paddy will get into a fist-fight with my other cousin Paddy (they were married to sisters, until the first Paddy dumped her for a comely real estate agent, and now they don't speak to each other), and my Aunt Margaret Mary will tell my Aunt Mary Margaret that she drinks too much, and then one of the grandchildren will cry because the adults are yelling, and then everyone will laugh and say "remember that time Not Nick held Not Bob's head under water until he passed out?" and Not Nick will shake his head with a sad smile, and Aunt Margaret Mary will apologize to Aunt Mary Margaret, and Paddy will shake Paddy's hand (though the real estate agent will frown at the ex-wife and vice versa), and all will be temporarily well.

The following morning will be bright and cold, and the crisp air will make the hung-over heads of 97% of the adults (cousin Seamus is in AA, and cousin Maureen stops at the third Bushmills at family events because she's terrified that she will end up like Seamus) pound and throb with regret and remorse, and the traditional funeral Mass will be solemn, and the procession of cars will drive out to St. Michael's, where four generations of my family have been buried.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
I didn't say attractive, I said sexy .

She's wearing a Devil costume with a tail for Chrissakes. Grrrr.

Sorry, but she's a no-neck. Instant death to sex appeal under any circumstances.

[lookingformarket]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I don't know how you girls do it. I was at the dentist and had to keep my mouth open for only 5 or so minutes and my jaw hurt...

You ought to just pay the damn bill instead of bartering.

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Not sure what weight the sticker carries, but I am sure someone here will enlighten us.

Just to be safe, I outlined my donation wishes in my living will and in my durable power of attorney for healthcare. My husband is well aware of my wishes (and will likely fear me in death as he does in life so he will follow them) as do my parents and sister. Finally, I carry a small card in my wallet stating my wishes so the EMTs will know too.

W/R/T to the iPod and water -- please let us know the answer just as soon as yours dries out.

Ugh. I hope my catchup from last night re sex puts the kabash on this organ donation/cremation talk.

and on an unrelated note (except for its correlation to morbidity), I would like to give PJ a shout out. It was nice to see "Purse Junkie This Person Is On Your Ignore List" bc I have not scrolled by that in awhile and was worried that karma finally got its retribution on you for your sanctioning of the murder of multiple innocent animals after a lifetime of living in tiny quarters where they were treated inhumanely, all so you can look like a hooker on what used to be 42nd street while you think you are all classy bc you live in Ct. Glad you are still with us. Keep up the mindless, selfish hysterics for your fans. And be sure to have some veal for dinner. WHo cares about animal suffering so long as you are fat and whored out? You can still be self-righetous about someting I am sure.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
If I can be serious for just once - please become a donor. It saves lives and families.

I echo this. Maybe your moral or religious views prevent it. I don't think that they should. It's incredibly selfish. But, if they do, fine. But please don't be lazy or think it's morbid to make your wishes clear.

As someone with a close fmaily friend who whould be DEAD without the transplant he got, and as someone who has made it very clear to his family that they should use my body for donorship and in any other way possible if I die in such a way that allows it, PLEASE BECOME A DONOR. IT SAVES LIVES.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Sorry, but she's a no-neck. Instant death to sex appeal under any circumstances.

This is what I call a no-neck:



This morning she was wearing a gray turtleneck that made her look like her arms were coming out of her jaw - oompa loompa.

[Shape Shifter]

I wish to be eaten.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I would like to give PJ a shout out. It was nice to see "Purse Junkie This Person Is On Your Ignore List" bc I have not scrolled by that in awhile and was worried that karma finally got its retribution on you for your sanctioning of the murder of multiple innocent animals after a lifetime of living in tiny quarters where they were treated inhumanely, all so you can look like a hooker on what used to be 42nd street while you think you are all classy bc you live in Ct. Glad you are still with us. Keep up the mindless, selfish hysterics for your fans. And be sure to have some veal for dinner. WHo cares about animal suffering so long as you are fat and whored out? You can still be self-righetous about someting I am sure.

EOM.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I wish to be eaten.

Everyone who has had a cat knows that eating lizards will make you sick. You are one deranged bastard.