The New And Improved Fashion Board - Page 53

Replaced_Texan · 11-17-2006, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have not been put into the situation very often of having to say anything (IRL). I don't run up to random people on the street or anything. So, I guess I'd say that I generally know a person well enough to know what their orientation is before I start commenting on anything about what they say. It was pretty clear cut in Dallas. Here, I have one, not close friend who has made me uncomfortable with gay jokes, but I don't really know him well enough, or I've been too chicken to say anything. Yet. Maybe the issue with him will resolve itself soon enough, since his best friend met (and loved! not in that way.) my bestest friend from Dallas who happens to be gay last weekend. Seems like that might be a good segue.

I'm not militant about it or anything. But I do believe that refusing to speak up in certain circumstances can be considered tacit encouragement.

In Dallas, it was an educational tool as much as anything. I knew people who were born and raised in Texas who thought that everyone (in polite society) made gay jokes and was homophobic. So I'd tell them, rather matter-of-factly that their assumption simply was not true. And I'd introduce them to my gay friends if they wanted to meet them. Whether I changed any minds about gay people, who knows? But they, for the most part, stopped saying ignorant things around me.

Off my soapbox now.

The day after my brother came out of the closet to my family, I flew to DC for a wedding in Annapolis a few days later. My best friend and her boyfriend were living in DC at the time, and I crashed at their place the few nights before the wedding.

I never liked her boyfriend, but that first night, when I was still processing that my brother wasn't the person I had thought he was for 22 years, was the night my best friend's boyfriend decided to tell his realy fucking offensive gay jokes.

I was sitting there, in this tiny efficiency apartment with a person that I'm closest to outside of my family who I thought I could unload some of my burden on, and this asshole was going off about fudge packers and the like. And boy did he love the word faggot. I wasn't sure what I was feeling about my brother, but I knew that I was feeling that for the rest of his life, I'd have to deal with assholes like this one.

I didn't do anything. I was just quiet with him for the rest of that trip. And I had a rather strained relationship with my best friend for a few years afterwards, because I never wanted anything to do with that guy again. But I didn't say anything.

I still feel immense shame that I never said anything in response to those gay jokes. I feel like a bad human being that I didn't stand up and tell that asshole off, even if it meant I would have had to find another place to sleep that night. I feel like I betrayed my brother at the time in his life that he needed his family to stand up for him the most, even though no one in that room but me knew that my brother was gay*.

I hate the word faggot. And I think less of the people that use it, even in apparent irony. And I still feel shame that I don't say anything about it on July 3, 1996.

*It's not that I thought it was a bad thing that my brother was gay. It's that it was a fundamentally huge thing about his identity that was hidden from the people who were closest to him. He was absolutely terrified of coming out of the closet, and the rest of us, including me, had to process it before we could wholeheartedly embrace it. I was right at the beginning of that process stage when this asshole started hitting me with the gay jokes and demonstrating why my brother would be terrfied to hide such a fundamental part of his identity. No one cares now. No one even thinks of it now. It's just a part of who he is. It wasn't then, at least not to everyone else in the world.

patentparanyc · 11-17-2006, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen

Others who have also met you have confirmed his description. No one who has also met you has come forward and said that his description was inaccurate.

Who else has "confirmed" his description? Cite, please.

I told you, that isn't what she looks like, it is the image I had in my head.

As for RT, why the hell did you not defend him? I would have ripped that guy's head of and shit down his neck. for real "that's my brother, stfu man." everyone swears, based on my posts that I am such an asshole but I defend those I am close to with little regard to "oh am I making a scene" or "I cannn't offend anyone" I'd rip them a new asshole.

Replaced_Texan · 11-17-2006, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Indeed. If you've ever spent any time in a gay neighborhood, it also becomes apparent that not all gay men are hot and buff. I'm sad to say.

*sigh* Sadly, this is very true.

bold_n_brazen · 11-17-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by patentparanyc
Who else has "confirmed" his description? Cite, please.

I told you, that isn't what she looks like, it is the image I had in my head.

You know who.

And listen, you're the one who compared the image you had in your head with a description someone gave of you from real life.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 11-17-2006, 05:05 PM

From the mailbag:

Quote:

Q: I'm 99 percent positive that Randolph and Mortimer Duke recently wagered $1 that they could turn the funniest, most successful stand-up comic into a disturbed bum on the street and turn a random unfunny guy off the street into the hottest comic in the land with TV specials and a feature film. How else can you explain the fall of Dave Chappelle and the rise of Dane Cook? It is the only answer. Looking good Dane Cook! Feeling good Dave Chappelle!
--DeVito, Washington

SG: There's still a month left in 2006, but that's the E-Mail of the Year so far.

bold_n_brazen · 11-17-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by patentparanyc

As for RT, why the hell did you not defend him? I would have ripped that guy's head of and shit down his neck. for real "that's my brother, stfu man."

You know what? I know RT can fight her own battles. But I can't help it.

This is another instance of you being really fucking insensitive. She explained why, you stupid cunt. Leave her the fuck alone.

patentparanyc · 11-17-2006, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You know what? I know RT can fight her own battles. But I can't help it.

This is another instance of you being really fucking insensitive. She explained why, you stupid cunt. Leave her the fuck alone.

No, this board is all about how I am a shitheel of a human being but fundamental decency dictates you fucking defend those that are close to you like a feral dog.

As for you know who does you know who know you are posting this? you know who has cleared this?

greatwhitenorthchick · 11-17-2006, 05:09 PM

Observation: I can't really explain it, but today I am incredibly homesick. I am not sure what brought this on or what can cure it.

Pretty Little Flower · 11-17-2006, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Interesting article about a gay character on The Wire and his impact on how black athletes think (or should rethink) their views on homosexuality.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...t&lid=tab3pos1

TM

I have not read the article yet, but Omar is the best character on The Wire -- very complex dude.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 11-17-2006, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
And I still feel shame that I don't say anything about it on July 3, 1996.

[/size]

Should we have someone visit him for reeduction purposes?

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 11-17-2006, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
The day after my brother came out of the closet to my family, I flew to DC for a wedding in Annapolis a few days later. My best friend and her boyfriend were living in DC at the time, and I crashed at their place the few nights before the wedding.

I never liked her boyfriend, but that first night, when I was still processing that my brother wasn't the person I had thought he was for 22 years, was the night my best friend's boyfriend decided to tell his realy fucking offensive gay jokes.

I was sitting there, in this tiny efficiency apartment with a person that I'm closest to outside of my family who I thought I could unload some of my burden on, and this asshole was going off about fudge packers and the like. And boy did he love the word faggot. I wasn't sure what I was feeling about my brother, but I knew that I was feeling that for the rest of his life, I'd have to deal with assholes like this one.

I didn't do anything. I was just quiet with him for the rest of that trip. And I had a rather strained relationship with my best friend for a few years afterwards, because I never wanted anything to do with that guy again. But I didn't say anything.

I still feel immense shame that I never said anything in response to those gay jokes. I feel like a bad human being that I didn't stand up and tell that asshole off, even if it meant I would have had to find another place to sleep that night. I feel like I betrayed my brother at the time in his life that he needed his family to stand up for him the most, even though no one in that room but me knew that my brother was gay*.

I hate the word faggot. And I think less of the people that use it, even in apparent irony. And I still feel shame that I don't say anything about it on July 3, 1996.

*It's not that I thought it was a bad thing that my brother was gay. It's that it was a fundamentally huge thing about his identity that was hidden from the people who were closest to him. He was absolutely terrified of coming out of the closet, and the rest of us, including me, had to process it before we could wholeheartedly embrace it. I was right at the beginning of that process stage when this asshole started hitting me with the gay jokes and demonstrating why my brother would be terrfied to hide such a fundamental part of his identity. No one cares now. No one even thinks of it now. It's just a part of who he is. It wasn't then, at least not to everyone else in the world.

Here's what I do when someone tells me a racist joke: I tell them the truth. I say, "my brother in law is black, and my niece and two nephews are half-black." And then I sit back and watch the stammering and backpeddling.

ltl/fb · 11-17-2006, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by patentparanyc
But you have not met me.

And a few other posters have.

And they have not posted contradicting TM's description of you, whereas both b-n-b and I posted contradicting your description of ABBA.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone · 11-17-2006, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Observation: I can't really explain it, but today I am incredibly homesick. I am not sure what brought this on or what can cure it.

I think you need to fuck a hockey player.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 11-17-2006, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I've failed a lot with women for exactly the reasons you'd expect. I sleep well having no doubts why I haven't gotten laid in my life.

Dude, chicks are nothin' but 9 miles of bad road.

Flinty_McFlint · 11-17-2006, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Here's what I do when someone tells me a racist joke: I tell them the truth. I say, "my brother in law is black, and my niece and two nephews are half-black." And then I sit back and watch the stammering and backpeddling.

Cunt.