The Spanky Show

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Star?! Star?!?! What do you know of Stars? I was a Star before Spanky ever even read these boards and I'll still be a Star when the Spanky Show is dead and gone. Oh, you naive little hussy, I pity you and your ridiculous attempts to make this Owen Meanyesque mountain man into a Star. He is but a socially crippled footnote in the career of the One True Star, ncs! This charade of interest in what deers eat and whether raccoons have opposable thumbs cannot eclipse the burst of light that emanates from the core of my rare roast beef! I live Starness with every fiber of my being! He had his Snow White cottage? I am the wicked witch, with my mirror of knowledge and the bitchinest royal townhouse-style apartment ever to grace the City of Angels! He lived in Paris? I prefer the Beacon of Light that is the one true voice and the cradle of freedom known as the U.S. of A.! He quotes The Big Lebowski? I am the female lead in the greatest office parody ever! I did Lumbergh, for baby Jesus's sake!

Spanky the Star. Ha. As if Spanky could star in an infomercial about the boxed set of ncs's greatest (s)hits. Keep dreaming, paigow, you've made it with anything other than a not-so-witty Grizzly Adams character in a ne'er-to-be-picked-up pilot produced by gattigap for UPN. Oh. The. Humanity.

Oh, you poor deluded wretch. DId Slave steal your password? When did you go all megalo and shit? Don't you know that the minute you think you are allmighty, you are well past your sell by date in this Town? Did you not get the Memo? Did someone take you off the Distritubiton LIst? I wonder why.

You , my dear could use more white space. You are no mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm3465654767. You aren't even a Sebby pontificating on one of his four points. You are just another pretty lady, one of thousands who get ona bus from the patch each year, trying to make it in a town that will eat you alive. Mark my words, mid-skooler. Spanky has LessinSF cred and we all know whow old skool he is. When the bombs fly from Pakisbabwe and make it past Egypt and go all the way to the Golden State, its gonna be just me, my Main Man Spanky, my Cute Dog, his three unfortunately named Cats, some Deer and Raccooons, a Skunk, some termites, our child Painky and em's Godfather, LessinSF.

"Ping! Pow!

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Oh, you poor deluded wretch. DId Slave steal your password? When did you go all megalo and shit? Don't you know that the minute you think you are allmighty, you are well past your sell by date in this Town? Did you not get the Memo? Did someone take you off the Distritubiton LIst? I wonder why.

You , my dear could use more white space. You are no mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm3465654767. You aren't even a Sebby pontificating on one of his four points. You are just another pretty lady, one of thousands who get ona bus from the patch each year, trying to make it in a town that will eat you alive. Mark my words, mid-skooler. Spanky has LessinSF cred and we all know whow old skool he is. When the bombs fly from Pakisbabwe and make it past Egypt and go all the way to the Golden State, its gonna be just me, my Main Man Spanky, my Cute Dog, his three unfortunately named Cats, some Deer and Raccooons, a Skunk, some termites, our child Painky and em's Godfather, LessinSF.

"Ping! Pow!

But you did note my Range, correct? I'm tired of being pigeon-holed into the Pretty Lady Number 3 parts.

[If you're going to make a "pigeon-hole" Valley gangbang porn joke now, better make it a good one. Sebby doesn't want to see any posts about how an avacada is not a vegetable.]

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Spanky:

Sometimes when a man likes a woman a whole lot (or is sufficiently drunk or hard up), he will use his tongue on her private parts, which in some instances may look like flower petals, a canoe, or even folds of roast beef. Our friend Sebby, once described his wife's private parts as greasy roast beef, and generally expressed his ambivalence or even dislike of using his tongue on his wife's private parts. Now, when people refer to roast beef, generally, they are talking about a lady's private parts, and tangentally, the use of a man's tongue on those private parts. I would draw you a picture, but someone else does a much better job than I.

Next week I will explain the meaning of fun bags to you.

I invented expalining about roast beef on the Spanky board.

[sgtclub]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I invented expalining about roast beef on the Spanky board.

Paigs, the Spanky board is getting very crowded with out-of-towners. Can't we put in place some sort of residency requirement and grant exemptions as warranted?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sgtclub
Paigs, the Spanky board is getting very crowded with out-of-towners. Can't we put in place some sort of residency requirement and grant exemptions as warranted?

Is the Spanky Board about exclusion? I think Spanky Himself had something to say about that the other day.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Do you suppose his wife knows he doesnt like it? Bc I would not enjoy that from a guy who characterized my delicates as a deli meat, and he certainly couldn't be any good at it. No gusto. She must know unless she is a dolt of some sort. DId Sebby ever clarify this point? Can we get him over here?

I watched an episode of Nip/Tuck today in which the hot surgeon referred to an older lady having free vaginal rejuvenation surgery (becasue she threatened to sue over a previous other procedure) as "Beef Curtains."

Oh, how I laughed. Also, because the lady in question pronounced it "va -JINE- uhl." Which reminded me of how my father would say "JINE-uh-col-o-jist," which is pretty intuitive, when you think about it.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I watched an episode of Nip/Tuck today in which the hot surgeon referred to an older lady having free vaginal rejuvenation surgery (becasue she threatened to sue over a previous other procedure) as "Beef Curtains."

Oh, how I laughed. Also, because the lady in question pronounced it "va -JINE- uhl." Which reminded me of how my father would say "JINE-uh-col-o-jist," which is pretty intuitive, when you think about it.

Uh, sorry Spanky. Cover your Eyes.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Is the Spanky Board about exclusion? I think Spanky Himself had something to say about that the other day.

Spank. Fringey and I want to know what it would take to put you in a new board, the LA or Texas or Detroit board, or revolving like a rave!

We can promise total creative control for you on some of your ideas. We can promise strict guest lists. What it going to take?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Spank. Fringey and I want to know what it would take to put you in a new board, the LA or Texas or Detroit board, or revolving like a rave!

We can promise total creative control for you on some of your ideas. We can promise strict guest lists. What it going to take?

There's only one Mr. Bings and its in SF. here's last week's happyhour (that's bilmore on the far left):



eta: the baby jesus had already risen and went home

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
There's only one Mr. Bings and its in SF. here's last week's happyhour (that's bilmore on the far left):



eta: the baby jesus had already risen and went home

I was walking from northbeach back to my hotel and passed Bing's. It seemed nice, but not a particularly magnetically attractive place. What is the backstory?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I was walking from northbeach back to my hotel and passed Bing's. It seemed nice, but not a particularly magnetically attractive place. What is the backstory?

Hank, I can see how many of the cruder posters here might be put off by Mr. Bings with their ever so often smugly cynical jadenistic perspective on the hip glamour lifestyle, but I am surprised by your reluctance to embrace it.

Don't be swayed by the "mean" babyjesus haters who are often found posting here.

Also, Bings has giant urinals:

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Hank, I can see how many of the cruder posters here might be put off by Mr. Bings with their ever so often smugly cynical jadenistic perspective on the hip glamour lifestyle, but I am surprised by your reluctance to embrace it.

Don't be swayed by the "mean" babyjesus haters who are often found posting here.

Also, Bings has giant urinals:

Well that does help. I like a place that doesn't go all fern-bary with its urine guards/mints. Straight forward debris trap in a primary color- that's for me!

But really, this doesn't explain why Paigow likes the place.


edit- first oversized photo on S-board!

[Spanky]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Well that does help. I like a place that doesn't go all fern-bary with its urine guards/mints. Straight forward debris trap in a primary color- that's for me!

But really, this doesn't explain why Paigow likes the place.


edit- first oversized photo on S-board!

OK - appropriate Spankyland topis - Animals, happytimes, innocent queries etc.

Not OK - Dead Cats, Roast Beef, Urinals etc.

It is not that complicated.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Spanky
OK - appropriate Spankyland topis - Animals, happytimes, innocent queries etc.

Not OK - Dead Cats, Roast Beef, Urinals etc.

It is not that complicated.

Snow White discussions are OK though, even though that evil stepmom has been known to scare the small children (not as badly as the witch in Sleeping Beuaty, but still pretty badly). Correct?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Spanky
OK - appropriate Spankyland topis - Animals, happytimes, innocent queries etc.

Not OK - Dead Cats, Roast Beef, Urinals etc.

It is not that complicated.

you realize why there is 1 buck and several does in your yard? He peed to mark his territory. How is urine an improper topic here?

And why did he mark his territory? to keep several deer vaginas all to himself. How is roast beef out of bounds?

I ask you Spanky, have you not killed your own best material with these rules you've perhaps not thought through?.